DD scratching DH and me

[Yesmynameis]

DD, 14mo has taken to scratching and grabbing at mine and DH's cheeks and necks when we are holding her. It can be quite painful, which she seems to think is funny, especially if you say 'oww' etc

It's not that often, maybe once every day/every other day. Most of the time she gives lovely cuddles and is an affectionate child.

We have always been quite firm with her over this, firmly saying 'no' and if it continues putting her down. We have also tried just ignoring her and putting her straight down and walking away.

However, this approach doesn't seem to be giving any results as yet. In fact she doesn't seem bothered at all.

Is this normal/just a phase? Does anyone have any tips or advice for me? I would be very grateful, tia

A 14 month old doesn't understand no. Offer her your finger or a toy instead. You can't be 'firm' with a 14 mo. To her, no is just a word, a response, and that's what she needs - interaction and firm body contact. Giver her your hand instead to play with and giver her tenderness.

You can also introduce the idea of kind hands. It will take a while for her to get the hang of it but when she scratches gently get her hand and use it to stroke your face saying kind hands or gentle hands. Then touch her face and say the same thing. Like I said it will take a long time for her to understand it but you will get there eventually. Plus you will be teaching her how you want her to be.

Thanks for this advice.

We do use the word 'gently' and stroke her face and arm to show her what we mean. She does understand this most of the time and is pretty reliable round other children or things such as a Christmas Tree when she is told to touch them 'gently'.

But when she gets into a scratching and grabbing frenzy she just goes mad and you do have to put her down really as she's quite strong when she wants to be.

She thinks it's hilarious. I just don't know where she gets it from!

Maybe spenditwisely is right and I am expecting too much... But I'm not sure I can agree that she's completely too young to understand. She can say 'yes' and 'no' (or versions thereof) in context so clearly knows what they mean. She can say a few words and I would go as far as to say she understands quite a lot of what is being said. She also knows that there are things which Mummy will not be happy about, such as her terrorising MILs gas fire for example :)

It's a long time since I've been there but I would say that although she reacts to your yes/no words, it doesn't mean she understands why she's stopping doing what she's doing - she's just reacting to you.

Perhaps someone with more recent baby experience will be able to explain it better.