Ds (2.2) has, so far been a breeze. He's fabulously well behaved, had a short period of tantrums earlier last year but since July, no problems whatsoever. I don't know I've got him half the time! He's well mannered and plays well alongside others at groups we go to most days. I have a couple of friends with children his age who come round occasionally and he's fine with them being here. It's probably why todays events have completely thrown me off guard!
He is an only child which may have some bearing on this.
When I go to visit my mum, she often has my 2 nieces there who are 5 and 6. Whenever we're all there together DS, although still relatively behaved is very sulky. He's a bit scared of my eldest niece as she's very boisterous and cries for me if she starts 'playing' with him (she's a bit rough). He doesn't like me cuddling either girl or paying them any attention and will try to push in front of them if they come near me which I don't allow, while explaining that DN is talking to mummy and he must wait until she's finished, but always make a point of giving him some attention and a cuddle after I've done what I'm doing with them.
They're both extremely challenging. Every day is a battle with them and I've always noticed a change in DS's behaviour after being around them. He'll refuse to do things (as they do) although its short lived, he tries things they do such as throwing things at people etc, but after a stern telling he never does it again, thankfully. But I've often thought he must wonder why he can't do things and they can, if that makes sense?
Today, I had both girls for the day. We went into town for some lunch, bowling for a few hours then back to mine for play and some dinner.
DS has been absolutely horrendous all day! He was quite alright until we got to bowling and didn't like the idea of taking turns with the girls. Every time it was his turn he put a smile on his face, then when it was time for the girls to have a go he'd scream (literally scream!) until it was his go again. I reminded him about taking turns, which he understands as we've had the discussion many times and practiced it with other children and not had a problem but me even looking at him (never mind talking!) made him worse. When I ignored the screams kept getting louder and louder. When I cuddled him he fought me to get away.
Then he was fine when we got back into the car to come home. Once home, the screaming started again. I tried allsorts, I had him on my lap. He didn't want to be there. I tried playing something else with him, slightly away from the girls, he wasn't interested. I sternly told him (which usually works with anything) and also tried the softly-softly approach. In the end I sent him to sit away from me, but within eyesight where he screamed constantly. I used 'time out' techniques to begin with and gave him the opportunity to come out at regular, short intervals and he was no better.
I then, after a warning resorted to sending him to his bedroom after about an hour of this. I'm in a flat, so it's in the next room. He didn't stop at all. The whole duration the girls were here (4 hours) he cried, sobbed, screamed kicked, fought with me.
It stopped immediately when we got coats on to take the girls back home. And he's been excitedly happy since, bouncing around, giggling and laughing etc!
I'm wondering if this is a one off incident or if it's the start of a new phase I'm going to have to conquer. My mum thinks he's jealous of the girls having anything to do with me. She found it quite funny and said it's like he's thinking "Errr it's my mum, she takes me bowling, not you and feeds and plays with me. Which I can understand.
But, why the jealousy with the girls and not other children? Or is this to come do you think? What else could I do to solve it? Is it something that'll work itself out or is there something specific I should have done or tried and didn't?
Or could it not be jealousy but something entirely different that I'm missing?
Sorry for the length of this - just wanted to give an accurate picture so you can clearly advise.
Thank you in advance!! :)