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Original poster

Resorting to sitting on my 2 year old....

24 replies

TheGrandOldDuke · 19/01/2012 18:49

to get him to get his coat on etc...
Very embarrassing in public.
I've been advised by his nursery to try time-outs. He just gets up and walks off, do I hold him down?? He's not bothered by anything, I'm terrified it's all going to end up going a bit "we need to talk about Kevin" if he gets away with things from this early stage. What do I do??

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BoysAreLikeDogs · 19/01/2012 18:56

not being dense here, but y'know, pick your battles - if he doesn't want to wear his coat, so what? just carry it for him, no need to get into a escalating situation

what other things are going on, that nursery want time-outs for?

and how old is he? a 2.2 month old may have less understanding/verbal skills/dexterity than a 2.10 monther

Original poster
TheGrandOldDuke · 19/01/2012 18:58

He's 2 and 2 months.
Pushing and snatching at nursery. I said, yes it's wrong but I'm trying to teach him, and surely they all go through it, and expected agreement. They said no. So I have no idea. He's my first and I don't know what is normal??

Yes you're right, I should pick my battles. I will bear that in mind tomorrow!
Thanks

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CuriousMama · 19/01/2012 19:01

Agree with BALD he'll put it on if he's cold.

Some toddlers do push and snatch so not sure what the nursery are talking about? Hmm DS2 was hard work but after cranial osteopathy he calmed down. He was my second, ds1 was so easy as a toddler so came as a shock.

BoysAreLikeDogs · 19/01/2012 19:02

yikes at nursery not being understanding of pushing and snatching

they should have all manner of methods to divert/distract/manage behaviours

that's quite crap actually

CuriousMama · 19/01/2012 19:02

Naughty step works well imo. As does taking them out of a situation if they're naughty. Mine hated missing out so would calm down, but all dcs are different.

Original poster
TheGrandOldDuke · 19/01/2012 19:04

I thought it was a bit odd, I burst into tears actually because I have been working hard on trying to get him to stop, and my friends have been saying they all do it, and then the "professionals" tell me they're not!!! Really just feeling the pressure.
To be fair, a bit hormonal as well which doesn't help my stress level!!!

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Wolfiefan · 19/01/2012 19:06

Odd comment from nursery. Toddlers do this until we teach them not to. Eg give that back, take turns and don't push!
Always have a consequence in mind. You can do this or x will happen. Give them a bit of time to decide. Eg hold my hand in the car park or I will pick you up.
My DD is 2. The trick of the day was to stand on a chair. I told her to sit down and she sees how long she can stay standing until I do something about it. Picked her up off chair and dumped unceremoniously on floor.
(hmm she arched her back and clonked her own head on the floor so perhaps I am not the best person to give advice!) Blush

NewYearEverything · 19/01/2012 19:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BoysAreLikeDogs · 19/01/2012 19:09

oh poor you Grand

grrr at Nursery

They need to be modelling please and thank you, turn taking, encouraging sharing. Pretty poor show from them

(arf at DD clonking heid, Wolfie. kids, eh? Grin)

Original poster
TheGrandOldDuke · 19/01/2012 19:09

I think part of the problem is that he is so very big, that the effects of his push is more than that of an average sized 2yo. Plus he has an extremely high pain threshold, so wouldn't bat an eyelid if anyone pushed him.
I think the nursery should consider this, but I don't think they are. However I am his mum and therefore bound to look for excuses!!

Yes, I will try to not sweat the small stuff.

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BoysAreLikeDogs · 19/01/2012 19:11

ah, yes, the olde they look 3 so should act like a 3 year old, sigh

any chance of changing nursery?

Original poster
TheGrandOldDuke · 19/01/2012 19:14

I know, it makes my heart bleed that he's not allowed to act his age, but then I suppose there will be positives too. He actually is the size of a 5 yo so I get odd comments when out with him in the pushchair too. His size also feeds into the difficulty with physically stopping him, he's half my weight and so tall, if he wants to do something, I can't physically stop him unless I sit on him. My back is shot!!!

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hohohoshedittant · 19/01/2012 19:20

IME of working in a nursery they hate having to tell parents about bad behaviour so a child knocking another child to the floor, sitting on him and using his hair to smash his head on the floor became 'ooh Harry was a bit rough today'. A child who bit chunks out of another's face was 'trying to kiss Sophie, but bit her by accident'.

It may be if they're worried enough about it to mention it to you it might be more than your normal 2 year old pushing/snatching.

What's he like at playgroup/playdates with other children?

Original poster
TheGrandOldDuke · 19/01/2012 19:24

But I don't really ever have accident forms to sign, other than what someone has done to him, so I'm not saying he's not hurting people, but not injuring them I don't think.

Playmates- he will snatch a toy infrequently, and I have seen him push, but usually he's just focussed on what he's doing. Not any worse than what the play daters do to him.

Maybe I need to ask tomorrow if it is worse than they're saying.

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CuriousMama · 19/01/2012 19:25

Hmmm maybe it's his size then not that there's anything you can do about that? I've heard this before of toddlers being expected to behave older just because they look it.

hohohoshedittant · 19/01/2012 19:27

In the nursery I worked in only the child who got injured had an accident form to sign, so not sure you would get one if he was the oone doing the hurting.

This may not be true for your nursery of course they may just be mentioning it to you so you can catch it early. I don't want to make it worse, just that I know that was how it went in the nurseries I've worked in.

How long has he been at the nursery? Does he like it?

CuriousMama · 19/01/2012 19:27

Can you have a meeting with them? I only have experience of pre school and nursery not private though.

Original poster
TheGrandOldDuke · 19/01/2012 19:33

I have had one form where he pushed someone, in the last year, so I think it is usual to do both sides of the occurrence at our nursery iyswim.

I shall ask though.

He adores nursery, and I get the impression they really like him too, he's always sat having a cuddle or a story read when I get there to pick him up - not rampaging round like a bull. It's only a day and a half a week, and I wonder if its not enough time per week with other children. We do go to a couple of groups on the other days though.

Yes we had parents evening last week when they told me. I think some of the problem is that he's been in the 1-2s room, and is literally twice the size of the others, plus he is BORED. I really hope now he's moved up to the bigger kids room he'll improve. Or at least be pushed by kids nearer his own size so that he realises it's not nice!!

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CuriousMama · 19/01/2012 19:43

Oh that's good he's been moved. Did they say positive things too?

Am sure it's nothing to worry about. I used to help run a babies/toddlers group and we had much worse ds2 one of them Blush

Original poster
TheGrandOldDuke · 19/01/2012 19:49

Oh yes everything else they said was glowing about him, just the pushing etc. I shall see what they say about him tomorrow... Hopefully he'll behave. Please please please God!!!!

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CuriousMama · 19/01/2012 20:13

I'd have pulled them up on saying it's not usual though. Don't know how they can say that? And they know he's your first.

Glad they did say good stuff though Smile

Original poster
TheGrandOldDuke · 19/01/2012 20:15

My friend (mum of 2 boys) was cross on my behalf. Next time round Im sure Ill have more idea. Right now I rely on what the nursery tells me as I assume they know more than me. Maybe not!!!
Thanks

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cakeslover · 19/01/2012 20:25

I can't get my dd to stay on the naughty step, what have been working so far is to get her toys to "go on time out". Say for example her doll will stay on top of the fridge till she starts to behave.
Also agree that nursery should be more understanding.

CuriousMama · 19/01/2012 22:47

Good on your friend, she sounds like me Wink I'm glad to hear you had support form her, maybe take her to the next meeting Grin

cakeslover I think it's whatever works? The naughty step takes ages to sink in imo.

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