HELP - my 6 year old DD has problems with FURY and it's causing problems at school

[narnalisa]

I've been taken aside a number of times recently to talk about DD's issues - she flies into rages and even gets violent at school. I just don't understand it - she has a fiery temper (like her father!!) but the teacher says it is like a toddler screaming tantrum and if she doesn't learn to simmer down, her position in the class might have to be reviewed, particularly if she hurts others. She doesn't cope well when other children call her names or correct her when she thinks she is right - and she does like to be in charge so she is quite a bossy little madam... I trying to teach her to be calm. We've put in place a "no shouting" policy at home to see if that helps but it is early days. HELP! I don't want her to be ostracised by the other kids... and the teacher says that she anticipates "social problems" if she doesn't learn to control her temper.
Possibly worth mentioning that she is now having to share a bedroom with her 3year old sister, new baby due in 2 weeks. Trying to give her enough attention but it isn't always easy. Guidance much appreciated!!

confusedperson: the chart is called: I can calm myself down and it came from extra-special-friends. They have a shop on ebay. I found it by searching for resources for autism.
I spend many a happy hour looking at resources and books in the hope that I can find a way to help him reign his temper in!

Pooka - I'd love to use that option but the house isn't big enough - the room that the 3 year old has moved out of so the baby has gone in is barely bigger than a box room. We moved the sisters in together at Christmas with the excitement of bunk beds - seemed to be OK at the time. I work from home so the 4th bedroom (we're lucky to have that many bedrooms!) is my office and workshop and we just can't afford to let that go.
I've bought The Explosive Child and have started reading it - it seems that our situation isn't as bad as most! I'd certainly recommend the book - Thank you!
We have also got What to do when your Temper Flares and have just started working through that with DD - and I've photocopied a few pages for the school as well.
Things are still tricky - DD got in a rage at school earlier this week because a boy "got out of the line" and ignored her telling him off. They were changing after PE so she stripped off to her pants and sat under a table screaming - so the headmistress had to be called. AWFUL.
We're plodding on the best we can... thank you for all your support.

ARGH - she attacked another child at Rainbows and had to be restrained. The other girl has a bit of a reputation for being a tell-tale and it seems that she accused DD of something that DD felt was unjust, but we can't have DD flying at other children. The mother of the "victim" was there and lives over the road from us... this is all we bloody need. The girls are in the same class.
Exhausted. Exasperated. Fed-up.