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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

4 week old baby cries himself to sleep every night and nap... help!

17 replies

christmasbabyboy · 19/01/2012 12:03

Hi, my baby boy cries whether I hold him, off dummy, rock him, feed him etc nothing seems to work it just prolongs the crying until he eventually falls asleep. If I put him down in the moses basket he cries but only for 5 minutes and sleeps but I really don't think it's a good thing to leave him to cry. It breaks my heart. Not sure what I am asking really, don't know if anyone has any words of wisdom or a rough idea of if he will ever just let me cuddle him or feed him to sleep.

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Seeline · 19/01/2012 12:13

Does he seem really distressed with the crying? If not I'd accept that that is how he goes to sleep. Don't try to start a bad habit that you may regret later. It is really hard to get a lo out of the habit of being feed to sleep or having to hold them until they do drop off.

Mabelface · 19/01/2012 12:14

My kids all needed a 5 minute squawk before falling asleep. It's quite normal.

happygilmore · 19/01/2012 12:17

My DD was a bit like this too, take heart that they know you're there, so you're not letting them cry it out. I think some just get over stimulated and can't sleep. We actually had to put DD down and rock her as soon as she started crying, holding her made it 100x worse.

Swaddling sometimes helps (sorry if you've tried that).

Also, bear in mind everything is a stage, I promise, you'll barely remember this in 6 weeks time (but will have something else to worry about!!)

blackoutthesun · 19/01/2012 12:18

my dd also needed a good scream before going to sleep, she did stop around 8 months

Original poster

christmasbabyboy · 19/01/2012 12:33

Ohhh blackoutthesun, your name's not taken from a recent song is it???? sorry changing subject hahaha! Anyway, sounds like it's normal. Just hard to hear him cry!

OP posts:

blackoutthesun · 19/01/2012 12:38

it is it is hard to hear them cry, i use to tell myself it was dd's off switch

mummytime · 19/01/2012 12:45

My eldest Dd used to do this. If its not a distressed cry then the best thing to do is, to take yourself out of ear shot, for a couple of minutes, and then check back, or sit in the room ear plugs in listening to an ipod, so you can see he is okay, but don't have to listen to it.

Btw my DD did it until she was 2 or 3 ish.

StarlightMcKenzie · 19/01/2012 12:48

Maybe he isn't tired and is protesting because he'd rather be doing something else. Feeding perhaps?

frumperina · 19/01/2012 12:52

Have you tried white noise? DD sometimes did this when she was overtired and putting on the hairdryer (or radio static or a nice recording of a mountain stream) calmed her down almost straight away and she fell asleep.

TittyBojangles · 19/01/2012 21:48

Id second the white noise. My DS did this, but settled really well with the detuned radio playing quite loudly. Worth a try?

StickyGhost · 19/01/2012 22:08

Another fan of white noise. DS is 12 weeks and is the same, he won't go to sleep on me ever, he just gets wound up, he really needs his own space to fall asleep. I usually put him in another room for his daytime naps and potter about a bit so he can see I am around, put the radio on untuned and leave him to it. He sometimes grizzles for a minute or two but always falls asleep. I started doing this when he was about the same age as your LO is now, first few times he cried for longer but now he goes to sleep very quickly.

Kiwiinkits · 19/01/2012 23:27

I'd say he's overtired/overwhelmed and you're doing the right thing leaving him to it. If the crying doesn't last long then it's normal, don't worry.

Iggly · 20/01/2012 08:54

DD screams when overtired but I just hold her tightly and she goes off to sleep. Have tried putting her down but it escalates although once she did fall asleep after 5 mins as I was at the end of my tether and no clue what to do!

But usually it's after she's been awake for too long several times in the day - screaming commences come bedtime. It's usually if she's been awake during the day for too long - it all catches up with her (eg she was awake for three hours yesterday morning and 2 hours in the afternoon with naps in-between. So she'd had some sleep but not enough to refresh her and by bedtime she was knackered)

White noise and holding tight normally work.

Original poster

christmasbabyboy · 20/01/2012 21:53

thanks everyone. Starlight I have tired feeding him, cuddling him, leaving him to play but he grizzles and cries because he is tired. I suppose he's very young and gets overtired quickly. blackoutthesun I LOVE that song! I love him too . Anyway nice to hear it's normal and probably isn't too bad leaving him to it. I suppose I just need to get used to hearing him cry and moan for a few mins :-(

OP posts:

RitaMorgan · 20/01/2012 21:58

DS went through a phase of crying himself to sleep (when he was a bit older that your ds though) - I would just hold him tightly and ssh him until he relaxed and dropped off.

seeker · 21/01/2012 08:46

5 minutes crying does seem quite a long time for a 4 week old, though- what happens if you lie him down and put your hand quite firmly on his chest(not too hard!) and sing to him? Ds loved this and made him go to sleep really quickly.

InmaculadaConcepcion · 21/01/2012 09:02

If he's falling asleep more quickly if you put him down than if you don't, then I wouldn't worry about it.

My mum says I was just like this - I would make an almighty fuss if someone tried to cuddle me to sleep, but after a few minutes of crying when left alone, I would nod off.

If it's upsetting you (and I know how awful it is hearing them cry!!) then the advice of putting a hand gently on him or just staying nearby until he's asleep may be the next thing as it sounds like cuddling etc. is just overstimulating him and making it harder for him to sleep. At least that way, he knows he hasn't been abandoned.

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