Tips please for coping with a whiny/clingy/ill toddler without going mad!

[IlanaK]

Ds2 is 19 months old and going through massive teething pains as well as a low grade viral thing. I am finding him impossible to cope with at the moment and really snapped today. I think I had totally lost the plot by the time dh came home from work and needed to go and spend some time alone in a room!

He is very whiney, but nothing I do appeases him. Everything is met with "No" and crying/whinging. I have tried things like letting him walk around with his dummy and comfort doll as well as lots of teletubbies on tv, but to no avail. He won't let me sit and cuddle him either.

I have an older ds who I home ed and this is really a problem as we are only getting anything done when ds2 is asleep. We tried a trip to the library today and ds2 really ruined it. He would not let me read to ds1 (pushing the book away, pushing ds1 off the chair, whining, crying, etc). But he would also not let me read to him either.

I have made him sound like a horrible child (and it certainly feels that way at the moment!), but he is normally quite a nice toddler and it is managable having them both at home.

How do I cope until he passes through this??

Anyone?? Please!

Poor you! sounds like you've got your hands full. I'm guessing you're giving calpol already? Have you tried ashton & parson teething powders? i got mine from local chemist and really helped my ds2 when he was teething. The whinging and saying no sounds very similar to my son at that age. on reflection i've put it down to frustration at his inability to express his feelings and have found his mood improved with his vocabulary. So it could be a combination of virus, teeth, frustration? i know i've not been much help but it does get better.

Commiserations...sounds like my life, Ilanak, only ds2 is like this all the time, I can't even put it down to teething. Impossible to do anything with my other kids when DS2 is awake.

IlanaK am with lact8 on this. My ds 17m is getting utterly frustrated at the moment as I seem totally inept at interpreting his ugh/aga/mamamamama sounds correctly... which then gets greeted with TANTRUM!

I have one advantage though... he adores his dd (4y) and when I say to him 'where's x' he usually goes 'hunting' for her. Though the distraction usually only lasts for a minute or so and turns into destruction . It's an age thing I'm sure

IME it usually means he is due a spurt with his language and the frustration will be eased soon. DS1 used to become apoplexic with rage because HE knew what he meant but couldn't get it across to stupid mummy however hard he tried. DS2 is exactly the same at the moment, he's teething late too and I have a permanent headache. It can't last forever

MEDISED - from the chemist to combat teething pains, fever etc just like Calpol, but with the added benefit of a mild sedative to help them get off to sleep and stay asleep.

Thanks everyone. It is definately not a language issue. He has a vocabulary of about 3 words (not that he uses them all the time) and can geneally make his needs understood. And yes, I have been using medised some days. It is more like he doesn't even know what he wants himself. I can run through a list and he will say no to everything and still not be happy. Lets hope it passes soon.

Hi

I understand you home ed DS1, but escapism for a lot of mothers is to be out and about outdoors in the fresh air. Do you generally spend a lot of time in the home because you are educating DS1? IME children seem to act worse when we as parents are trying to get something done, whereas if we stop trying to do what we were attempting then it suddenly becomes a lot easier. I have DD1 who is nearly 3 and DD2 who is 9 months. Me and my husband run our own company, I don't do a lot of work but during November I did need to do a lot. Suddenly the children became more needy, whingy etc. I honestly thought it was them being the nightmare. It is only upon reflection now that I feel that the nightmare was me trying to work when they needed attention and therefore the stress of needing to get work out was clouding my judgement over the behaviour of the children, i.e. they weren't being any different to normal but because I was working, it felt like they were. Does this make sense, sorry if not, I struggle to get things to come out the right way sometimes I understand your predicament and that you can't down tools when you have a child to educate, but it may be an explanation. Or perhaps not!

HI thanks Babyblue for that. It is certainly true that ds2 is worse if I am trying to get something done like cook dinner or whatever. But I don't think that is it right now. We do go out and about a lot together - my worst nightmare would be to spend the entire day at home! I think he is just under the weather and none of us are coping well with it.

You could be right in saying that he's not well. The number of times DD1 has been a real pain in the rear, to the point where I wonder where my angel has gone, only a week later for her to start with a cold or something similar. This sends me on a total guilt trip. Anyway, whatever is causing it, i'm sure it'll pass. One year down the line, this'll be me posting when DD2 is 19 months old. lol.