Hi, I'm having big problems with my 2.5 year old son. If anyone has had similar experience or advice I'd be very grateful to hear from you.
My son has always been clingy. Unfortunately he didn't start walking until he was 21 months-I say unfortunately as I think this has not helped his clinginess because I had to carry him around a lot longer than if he had walked at a younger age. This clingyness has changed to massive attention seeking. He wants to be centre of attention all the time-when I'm with other mums and their kids he starts showing off, when he is at toddler groups he physically clings to me (whilst the other toddlers seem to play happily on their own or next to each other), when I do housework he 'hangs around' , is naughty or hurts his baby sister in some way, all to get attention. I did give him lots of attention before his sister was born, but that was 5 months ago...and he has got used to her being here and despite the competition he shows signs he likes her. Things started to settle down when she was 3 months old but recently suddenly he has become so defiant! His favourite word is no. He likes to tell me what to do. I get very cross with him. The days are no fun for either of us at the moment as from start to finish they are him being attention seeking or naughty and me telling him off or punishing him (he either has things taken away, or has to sit on a naughty blanket for 2 minutes-I chose a blanket as its portable, thank goodness).
When it comes to the naughty blanket he sits next to it rather than on it, even though I tell him to-I feel constantly challenged/walked over. I tried dragging him onto the blanket but I dont like doing this as I have to do it over 40 times to get him to sit onto it and it feels too physical. I've tried adding extra consequences if he doesnt sit on the blanket but he doenst care. The only thing that works now is telling him that if he doesnt sit on the blanket, I'll close the door.
When I ask him to do things he says no, even if they are things he wants to do. If I make him (e.g. no you cant have the megablocks until you have tidyed away the cars) he screams the whole way through. He has lots of nice toys but does not want to play with them-he wants mummy to play with them for him. He goes to nursery 2 days a week and plays happily there on his own/with other kids.
He is also really manipulative. I hate to say that word but its true. He will ask lots of questions about a different subject when I have asked him to do something to try to distract me!!
His pestering drives me crazy, e.g. he will say 'want pear' then if I say yes he will carry on saying 'want pear' until he gets it, so he ends up saying it a lot of times as I dont see why I should go around in a panic rushing about. I've told him he wont get x if he carries on asking but he doesn't remember, and does it again the next time.
Since his sister was born I have been careful to ensure he still gets his 1:1 time, which was easy at the start since she slept a lot during the day. He still gets his 1:1 now and I make sure I hug him now and then.
Is this normal behaviour? Writing this then reading it he seems like a spoilt brat??? There are times when I have my sweet little boy back, but actually I cant remember many right now and they are all when he has 100% mummy's attention. He does have good traits and can play with other kids well. What can I do? help!!