8yr DS Sudden Eating Phobia ....

[MadameSin]

I'm worried sick. My son had a choking episode back in October, but seemed ok after and showed no signs of having problems eating/swallowing. However, over the last few weeks, we've noticed he takes ages to eat his dinners. He has always had a great appetite to the point that we have to put his favourite foods out of sight. He is a great eater and loves fruit etc. Over the last week, he's talked alot about how he doesn't like meat anymore because that's what he choked on. He asks me constantly what we're having for dinner and if it's going to be lumpy or contain meat. This weekend, it's been really bad. He's hardly wanted to eat anything, not even his favourite foods. Yesterday and today he has eaten virtually nothing saying he is frightened to swallow. We've had tears over the dinner table as DH lost it thinking it's for attention, but think he really does have a problem. I'm taking him to the doc tomorrow because I need to nip it in the bud. On top of the choking episode, we've had an awful year ... tragic death in our family, seriously ill grandparents and I'm wondering if all of this has contributed to his fears. Has anyone had experience of this kind of problem with their child?. Thanks!

I do feel for you.

My god-daughter was about 12 yrs old and she choked on some pizza when we were all out one day. We didn't really think any too much about it. It was horrible as these things are. We were all a bit shocked at the time and upset for her but she seemed ok after and we went to the theatre as planned and kinda forgot about it.

Then about a month later her mum phoned me and said "Jane isn't eating properly." She was worried it could be an eating disorder issue as her daughter is a very keen gymnast and very tall compared to many she competes against. And those leotards are not forgiving.

But my friend also wondered if it was the choking incident.

My friend and her husband had been getting impatient with her meal time was becoming an event. They thought she was attention seeking

We made a list of foods that don't need much chewing, not likely to choke on. Soups, very mushy weetabix, ice-cream, mash potato, scramble egg, rice pudding, angel delight, pureed fruit like weaning babies have etc...

My friend spoke to her daughter ( took her out for a hot chocolate). And Jane was scared of choking again, Really scared. Her mind had seemed to replay it and replay it - and it was now out of control.

And they made a deal that Jane would eat but she could have foods that she wasn't scared of. She looked at the list, added a few more and her diet existed of those foods. It kinda then wasn't an issue and then she gradually, with them hardly noticing returned to eating food as normal. Took time but she's fine now.

I think you let him take some control on what he eats. Think of things together that he'll eat. That will give him confidence. He will build up. Peer groups will help like birthday parties. And hopefully it will gradually fade and just be one of those things.

Hi

Sounds like you've had a lot of stress recently, all of you.
I'd try and talk to him about it but mainly listen. Have him describe what his worries are, then maybe say something about recognising how terrifying it was for him but being sure he'll handle getting over the fear and enjoying his food again.

I wouldn't worry about him eating slowly - it's quite healthy (though frustrating for us.)

If he's actually not eating enough, can you build him up with smooth soups and smoothies and ice creams?

Can you put texture back into his food gradually, like we did when weaning. Sorry - I don't really have any experience of what you're going through, but DS2 had severe reflux as a baby and young child, which meant he was scared of eating generally as he associated it with very unpleasant things happening to him. We got him over it very gradually by moving onto textured food incredibly slowly, and by giving him far more treats than I'd have chosen to do normally, just so that he could associate eating with pleasure. It worked long term and now he tucks in, but it was a very slow process. I'd think maybe a child psychologist or behaviourist, or even a speech therapist might be able to help. Speech therapists were very useful to our son when he was little.

what about letting hm have a (reasonable amount) of control over what he eats, so he deson't feel pushed into a corner..and have a chat with your GP..maybe on the phone? A speech therapist might be a real help as they have huge experience in swallowing issues too.

Hello, Madame. My son (DS1 6) is somewhat similar. He ate beans when he was 3 and they all got a bit smooshed together and he couldn't swallow them very easily and was sick. Three years later, he still won't eat beans and has a sensitive gag reflex.

As a very important aside my DH is obsessed with chocking and one of the first things DS 3 could say was I OK Daddy

DS1 is/was always an anxious eater and was similarly concerned with meat.

Things that have helped me:

I've shown him things that I struggle to swallow (large tablets etc) and it seems to reassure him he's not alone.

I do make sure that he has plenty of foods that are easy/smooth.

Let him refuse food for a while, hunger will kick in and he will start to accept foods that are safe to him.

Whilst DS1 isn't tucking into steaks, he will now eat mince, chicken and sausages.

Calmness is key, he will come around eventually!

Thanks everyone. Some good advice ref getting him to choose his foods initially. We've just been to Tescos after school and he chose his meal for tonight ... soup, baked cod & mash potatoe - not a bad diet and all very 'eatable' (is that a word?) I'll chat to my GP without him present and maybe get some more ideas. Meanwhile DH and I have agreed not to make a big deal out of it. I talked to my ds2 this a.m. and he was in tears saying he didn't understand why he felt this way, just that he was frightened of choking and now he's frightened of getting ill if he doesn't eat I've reassured him there is no fear of that as he IS eating, even if it's a little. Blimey, I didn't sign up for this ......