Urgent help needed- newly hideous ds 20 months

[mrsrvc]

Ds 20m and dd due to arrive by elcs on Friday. Previously mild mannered although cheeky ds has turned into an unrecognisable monster. Constantly hitting me with anything and everything, biting or trying to bite. Mainly me, but tried to bite another mum at a group this morning who was holding a newborn. I'm probably nit reacting as you should as I often end up shouting rather than simply being firm, largely as he often really hurts me. Treats have been banned, but I've just put the tv on as I'm exhausted. He usually says sorry after being naughty, but today has refused, simply saying no when asked to apologise. At one point I was in tears and he simply found it very funny.
I am feeling at my wits end. I have no idea what to do about discipline and no idea how I'm going to cope come Friday and a new arrival and being post op...
I think it's being made worse as he has a stinking cold and 2 canines cutting, but I also think he knows something is happening. We've been trying to be positive about the baby, started reading him stories in the last couple of weeks, getting him to help build the crib (which he loved). But I simply don't know what to do.
Please help!!

Thanks. My dh thinks its quite teeth related, so hopefully it will pass. In the mean time I'll try to stay calm, it's just so hard when you are this pregnant (I have also had a neonatal loss) so I am exceptionally anxious at the moment, and to be frank he is being a little terror.
Just bad timing I guess!

It is quite normal to be testing boundaries at this age as I am suddenly re-discovering with my 21mo. I am also about to have baby number 3 and was so used to dealing with bad behaviour with a 4 year old that I could reason with I was a bit thrown by my DS2 suddenly turning into a munchkin.

To be honest I am expecting him to react pretty badly to arrival of baby but I just try and remember that it was the same with my eldest when DS2 arrived and you just have to maintain boundaries and wait for it to pass.

I think trying to keep discipline quite simple works best for this age cos they don't really understand, so as other poster said just put them down if they hit/bite you and ignore them then praise them as soon as they are nice again.

Good luck!

Ds bites when his teeth are coming through, also I think just to experiment, they are very young still. I tell him it hurts, mummy is sad blah blah plus working on showing him gentle ways of touching cuddles, kisses, stroking - which will come in handy when your next baby comes home!

You must be quite stressed with all this to contend with plus your history. I found my ds really picked up on it when we were having a stressfull time.

I would make things as easy as you can for yourself, bit of tv etc is fine. He is not going to turn into a criminal because you ease up on the discipline for a few weeks. Better than shouting and getting yourself even more upset, reassure him you love him (no matter what - grit your teeth!) as his world is going to change a lot by next week. I've heard from friends its common they regressive a little when another baby arrives so just go with it.

Good luck for friday.