What can I do?

[ebmummy]

I posted a few months ago when DS was almost 9 months about his constant grouchy behaviour and whining. And basically we're almost at 11 months and no improvement :(. He's had 1 tooth come through, so possibly may be teething. He's not crawling but is cruising around on furniture. But his persistent whinging is really starting to affect me. Not a day goes by where I can leave him playing for more 2 minutes by himself before he starts with his noises. I have zero help with him at the moment (MIL lives 2 minutes away but sees him once a fortnight if she can be arsed) and my own Mum is abroad. DH behaves like he's doing me a huge favour if he looks after him for an hour at the weekends so it's pretty relentless. I'm starting to get really resentful, and as much as I adore the chubby little whinger (DS not DH lol), I just can't forsee an end to it-it's making me not enjoy being with him which's making me feel hugely guilty. Even when I take him out for a walk, I have to be constantly walking-if I stop for more than a minute (say in a shop), he starts the most almighty racket. He's still breastfed, healthy appetite but REALLY high maintenance. Please someone tell me it'll get better, please...???

my sympathies! I too have no local help/family members at all, mine are 7hours drive away...:( and my hubby works away 3 weeks every other month! my DS is 26m and pretty easygoing at the moment, apart from the odd tantrum of course!!!! I can tell you things do get better when they can get themselves round the place on their own 2 feet, they get into exploring/playing, as some of his whinginess may be frustration/a desire for independence? mine was a teething nightmare at that age, but it does pass. Do you go to toddler groups? they're great to go to 3/4 mornings a week, have a moan with other knackered adoring mums and let them roam/have a play with/around other kiddies - I even stop by the park on the way home to get some fresh air/running going to wear him out... make sure you get plenty of sleep, even if you go to bed crazy-early for a few nights... is prescribed! :) best of luck don't be too hard on yourself, the early times are full on arent they...

To be honest I think if you were less stressed you would perceive him as happier.

You have a frustrated baby- you can't stop him feeling this but you can help. Get out and about once a day- toddler groups, walking, swimming.
Ensure he is napping enough
Ensure he doesn't get too hungry/ thirsty- really helps prevent tantrums!
Get yourself a BREAK- run, walk anything alone a few times a week- you will have head space and cope better.
Have 15 mins for you a day min- where you're off duty- when he's asleep and read/ hobby
Get your Dh to help- this will turn bad if you don't get him to help now. It's huge thing in a relationship

Thanks ladies. I do go to toddler groups but can't stay for long cos he naps between 9-10 and 1.30-3 so whinges if we're not home for him to sleep. He doesn't sleep ANYWHERE except his cot-hates his buggy and won't sleep in anyone else's house. Have got him a multitude of sleeping bags to encourage him to sleep over whilst I'm at a friend's house but he's having none of it. I'm just at a loss as to what to do-am basically chained to the house cos I'm mindful he needs his rest (and tbh, I look forward to nap times cos it gives me a break from the whining) but realise I need to get out and about. He wakes 3-4 times a night so am knackered on a daily basis too. Sorry for the moan, but today's been particularly bad. I've kind of made a rod for my own back with DH-cos DS's sleep was so atrocious for the first 6 months (used to wake every 45mins at night for months) and I was bfing, DH has just got used to me being on 'duty' ALL the time. He offers to help out, but cos he does things differently to me, I always worry it'll affect DS's sleep (i.e. he will happily let him miss a nap which freaks me out cos I know as a result DS will be up all night whining). So DH very rarely offers now-have to push him into it and even then worried that he won't do it the same as I've told him to and our already fragile routine will be screwed.

God I've just read this back and I sound like a control-freak :(

I just need to know that this phase truly will pass-can't stand to think I'm going to have a moaney toddler as well. I wish he'd just bloody crawl/walk/do anything!!!!!!!!

And breathe......

I always found that they get really wingey before they learn to do something new!

Ps I understand the Dh thing- they never work in the kids time but to their own. However, just be careful you let him develop his confidence to look after ds solo.

Have you tried cc for the night time?

Yeah, I have. Only problem being that when he continues crying at night, it's then harder to get him back to sleep cos he's 'fully' awake iyfwim. Easier to shove boob/bottle in his mouth. I'm trying to get DH to take DS more, but it rarely happens. Feel like a single mum sometimes. And it's sooo annoying when DS saves all his smiles for when Daddy gets in from work, and they roll about playing on the floor like in the adverts.. Meanwhile I get the shitty nappies, the bitten nipps, the whinging and whining, the regurgitation etc etc..

Nobody mentioned all this in the 'Mummy Manual'!! :)