dd has decided to change her perfect routine. feeling quite deflated wondering how its going to work.

[addictediam]

Dd (14months) has been in a perfect (for us) routine for a while now. I started off as a parent who wasnt bothered by them but now with dc2 due anyday I've become quite reliant. Routine was as follows -
Up between 5.30-6 breakfast with daddy (meaning i will have time to feed/change dc2)
Nap at 8.30 for an hour so i can shower if dh had to go to work early (quite a common occurance) or clean if i managed to shower before he left
Lunch around 12
Nap for 2-2.5 hours at 1.30
Dinner at 5
Bed at 7.

She's now decided she doesn't want her morning nap (but is still really tired and grumpy, but just screams in the cot) and instead wants to sleep at 12 for up to 3 hours. We cant go to any groups in the morning as she needs lunch before her nap, and when am i going to get the chance to shower with 2 babies when dh leaves early?! We can't do toddler groups in the afternoon as dd will still be asleep and is a right grouch if we wake her up (the odd occasion I will but not weekly) so i will ne stuck in the house with 2 babies and no adult to talk conversation until dh gets home around 7.30-8pm.

I feel I am going to lose my mind! What can I do?

Give her a snack while you are out before nap and after (ie split lunch). Try and move her nap back so you can lunch and go out (she may not eat much and need bigger tea later ).
Flex the routine so it suits you better - there is no point pretending that life is always going to revolve round your kids so need to try and take account of their needs but not to extent of everything else.

Can dd not play in bathroom while you shower ? Also cleaning can be put off for when you have time.

Hi Addict, my dd is 15 months, we've just been through this, I find it better now. It's probably just a case of getting used to the new routine, and rethinking how you will juggle thing with the new baby. I do as Gig suggests and split her lunch. Slightly different in that dd goes to bed a bit later than yours but will sleep 11-13 hours but only up to 2 hours nap in the day. As your dc is getting up so late you might be able to give a hearty snack ant 10:30 and put her down around 11 and still make the baby group.

Sorry I meant as your dc gets up so early - mine is up between 7-8 and ready for a nap midday.

My 16mo son is up between 6.30-7am. He dropped the morning nap around 9 months old and is usually ready for a nap by about 11.30 instead and will sleep for anywhere between 1.5 and 2.5 hours.

We manage groups which run from 9.30-11.30, he has his snack around 10.30am with the other children. He will be home and asleep by 11.30 and have a second largish snack around 1.30-2pm.

As for showering, put them both in the bathroom with you, baby in a bouncy/swing chair and toddler throwing ducks in the bath, or whatever. Its doable.

It is very normal to go from 2 to 1 naps around 14 months, so I don't think you can hope to return to her previous routine. However as she gets uses to having just 1 nap you may find you can push it a bit later (to 12.30 or 1pm) to give you a bit more time in the mornings. Even if she needs it at 12, couldn't you be out of the house say 9 to 11/11.30 and still be back in time for her lunch?

Do you need to have a shower first thing in the morning or could it be during her lunchtime nap? Personally I have a nice relaxing bath in the evenings when the DCs are in bed instead of a morning shower! Or you could bring DD into the shower or bath with you?

Part of the problem is we live quite ruraly so anywhere we go has to be in the car and dd will fall asleep in the car so food goes out of the window.

It's fustrating as she's not having any less sleep, just doing it in a different way. I think I'm stressing today as its dawned on me this is now the 'normal' routine. And I've realised how reliant I've become on her routine.

Dd occasionally (when dh works away) will be in the bathroom with me, but she gets upset as she loves baths and wants one! I feel dirty if I don't have a shower in the morning, and cant stand baths!

I think slowly pushing her nap back to 1pm would be a good idea, and she can help clean in the morning (something she likes to do, but I prefer her not to :o)

I can make this work for us...I'm sure I can!

Do you have a shower over a bath? I used to put DD in the bathtub at the other end with some toys & leave the plug in while I showered so she had some water to splash with.

I know exactly how you feel - you get into a nice routine, and then they unexpectedly decide to change it!

Take her snack / lunch (sandwich, banana etc) with you to a morning activity and eat it just before you leave? Then she can fall asleep in the car on the way back and you can transfer her straight to her cot for her nap.

My DD (12months) is also dropping to 1 nap. She used to go down for her afternoon nap at 1pm for around 2hrs but now she's not having a morning map she's wanting her afternoon nap at 11am!!!

The way I have got round this is by getting her to have around 10mins nap in the car sometime in the morning. That little power nap will usually mean she can stay up until around 12.30pm when she goes down for her long nap.

they like to change their routine just as they can see how reliant you have become on it and how you manage to get things done in their nap times... oho yes, all part of their cunning plan:) they tend to go from 2 naps to 1 about this age, mine did the same and we gradually changed it from 11.30 to 12.30 over a week of upping the time by 10m each day, so that we could take him to toddler groups 9.30-11.30, get home, eat, nap. That worked really well - then at about 20m he started not to need a nap during the day at all.... just wait till that happens!!!! It took a bit of getting used to, but now we're in the swing of this new routine and he falls straight to sleep at 7 now no messing (is now 2.2 or 26,)

26m

Mine dropped to one nap at about nine months
I used to shower in the evening
Went to groups in the morning because I loved putting them down fir a nap at 12.30pm and having my lunch in peace until they woke up 2.30pm
I'd mumsnet for a couple of hours, only cleaned when they were awake
Sometimes I found groups too restrictive always in the afternoon so went to the library, park, to town in the mornings