Comforter attachment

[oyvey]

DD is 21 months and at a lovely nursery. She's used a blanket to help her sleep since she was tiny, and tends to need it if she's feeling tired or a bit uncertain about something.
Lately the nursery have split up the toddlers into two rooms; one for younger ones and one for the slightly older. The main criteria for moving 'up' is that they should be able to manage without their comforters for most of the day, and only use them during nap time.
The trouble is that since four of the others moved 'up' to the next room, DD has paradoxically got more rather than less attached to her blanket and won't go into the room without it. She's very verbal and her carers have all said she's more interested in 'older' activities like identifying numbers, colours and names of shapes, but it seems that she can't move up until she ditches the blanket.
Just wondered what a normal age for losing the comforter is, and what the best way to wean DD off it would be? I've tried the 'your blanket is in bed and will be there for your nap' but she just says 'Oh! OK, blanket's in bed' and goes and fetches it.

in your position I would be challenging the nursery about their rather stupid rule. If your DD is ready for the play and activities in the other room, she should be moved into that group, blanket or no blanket. It sounds like she is taking a step back now the children most in tune with her developmentally have moved up, perhaps leaving her a bit bored.

It seems like a bit of a daft rule to me. The daycare place my dd went to was amazing and she was allowed to carry hers around for as long as she wanted.

That is just mean.
Unless she still carries it around when she is 4 or 5 I wouldn't consider taking it away. Even then many children sleep with their comfort blanket far longer than they would admit to their friends.

Stupid rule. Ask for their justification of it- then tell them it's stupid.

Agree with the others, she should be doing those activities when ready and interested not based on another irrelevant criteria. Probably for their own benefit rather than the children's, not having to keep track of all the blankies, teddies etc all day?

Forcing them to give up comfort before they are ready, from what I have read, is the wrong way to go about it. Reverse psychology maybe?

Seriously? So the fact they might be a Mensa member means nothing if they have a cuddly. Sounds a bit weird. Could you go all every child matters on them?

And as for normal age - depends on the child and what's going on. My DC1 is 8 next month and got out of the car and ran into the house last week - when he finally got back into the car he said he'd had to give his cuddly toy a quick hug because he'd "promised" that he would before he left him all day whereas DC4 is two and only has his cuddly at naptime but wouldn't look for him if he wasn't there.

I think this is awful! Why is a comforter seen as somehow detrimental to development or seen as some kind of problem? I am proud of my 16 MOs attachment to her teddy. It shows she is able to care for another (she "feeds" it etc) and whilst she doesn't want it at all times anymore, it is important for her security and for continuity of routine etc that she have teddy for sleep/nap times - she settles really easily with teddy. I don't particularly expect that to change till she's about 10, or even later and I certainly wouldn't take teddy from her - I can't see any reason to. I had the same old teddy in bed with me till I was about 10 and I don?t think that's unusual or weird. I think this rule at the nursery is completely stupid - are they really saying that your child can't move up till she' 10 (or 20 - my CM says her son, now aged 26 still has his old teddy - he even took it to university with him!)!!!! If anything I would say allowing a comforter will help her adapt more easily to the new room/group and find perhaps she doesn?t need it so much, or at all, after a while there. What a stupid, stupid rule - it shows no understanding of child development at all.

Also agree with Albrecht above who says this rule is based entirely on staff convenience and shows no attempt to meet children's needs. Sounds like a crap nursery IMO.

I would complain loudly to the nursery (and probably look for another one or a nice CM). The rule is stupid!
At DCs school although there were not toys rules, they did allow kids to: attach key rings to book bags, have a tiny toy in their trays etc. in reception.
See if they will try her in the next room, and observe if she needs the comforter less when she is back with her "friends".

I should add that DC1, 2, and 3 all took their cuddlies to school for weeks and it was not frowned upon - I asked in the hope the teacher would put her foot down and say no but the teacher said as long as they didn't "take part in activities" it was ok.