Please can someone help me work out what's going on with my DS?

[Margie32]

My DS is 12 months old and has always been a really good sleeper. He slept through the night from 12 weeks and has only ever woken up at night when he's ill. Until now...

The last 10 days everything's changed. He is still the same happy chappy until we try to put him down to sleep, at which point he starts crying uncontrollably. He's only napping for about half an hour at a time when over Xmas he was doing an hour and a half/2 hours.

But the worst is when we start the bedtime routine. He starts crying hysterically from when we take him through to his room to get him undressed for the bath. He then cries the whole time in the bath and can't even drink his last bottle because he's crying so much. I manage to calm him down and get him to sleep but for the last 10 nights he's woken up at 2am screaming and it's taken us at least an hour to calm him down and get him back to sleep.

Tonight I have to admit to crying while he was crying in the bath, as he's always been so happy in the bath and I can't understand what's changed. Plus he's always drunk all his last bottle and at the moment he can't drink anything because he's crying so much.

I am completely in the dark about what to do, I don't think he's ill or teething as he's his usual happy self during the day but at night something changes. I would really appreciate any help anyone can give me...

Hmmm he's perhaps had night terrors or it's seperation anxiety which can kick in from 8 to 14 months I believe but peaks around 12 months.

Separation anxiety makes sense as he's been very clingy lately - anything I can do to help him get over it?

No idea I'm afraid - must be lots of literature about it.

Remember it's just a phase, and it too will pass!

Change his routine- we used to 'ambush' DD and tell her it was bedtime after her bottle, so no pressure IYSWIM. Now, at aged 3, she has a well-established bedtime routine, so you can re-establish one later once the anxiety around going to bed has been removed.

Does he go down for a nap ok during the day? If so, I suggest making bedtime no different from a nap time.

Start bathing him in the morning instead perhaps; this may help him to stop associating a bath with bedtime which is clearly a source of anxiety for whatever reason.

My dd is 13months and going through a similar phase. I've been told it could be because she's just finding her feet and that any milestone can affect their sleeping patterns. Someone also suggested it could be that her legs are sore cause she's on them more often. Other suggestions were night tremors, over tiredness and hunger caused by a growth spurt. I think for us it's the walking milestone to be honest but I've no idea how to stop her waking. She was ok last night and so far tonight so fingers crossed. 2 nights ago she was up from 11pm till 3 am wanting to play.. Fun!!

We did go through this about 3 months ago also and at that time we narrowed it down to overtiredness as she'd just dropped her morning nap but wasn't taking long enough in afternoon either. We got her back onto 2 naps for a while and she went back to normal.

Thanks for all your help. I've just been to see the doc for DS's 12 month check-up so I mentioned the bedtime hysterics to her. Tethers he hasn't been napping well either, so it gets to bedtime and he's absolutely exhausted, which doesn't improve his mood. Mum23 thanks for all the suggestions, I think in DS's case it's definitely to do with separation anxiety and maybe teething as he's not in any rush to walk!

The doc said that I need to calmly talk him through the bedtime routine every night, as even though he's little he needs to understand what's happening. She says that something's obviously happened to change his chip when it comes to sleeping, but is sure that he'll be able to change back again. Fingers crossed she's right!

Apparently it's common at that age for them to start resisting naps and sleep. Basically the world is so exciting and there's so much for them to do that they'd rather be awake. They're making the mental and physical leap of turning into toddlers so are close to mastering walking at that age too, which also means disturbed sleep as they're too hyper and can't switch off. It's a phase and it will pass. Apparently they can also develop a (temporary) fear of the bath at that age too so perhaps try cutting out his bath for a night or two and see if that improves the situation?

I had the same with my dd and experimented a little until things settled down. Could he be over-tired after not napping well? At what time do you start his bedtime routine? I gave my dd dinner a little early (5), then gave her her milk after dinner, skipped the bath and read books for a little longer, and then put her to bed much earlier than before (ie lights out at 6pm). I also tried night light/no night light, door ajar, door closed etc. Good luck, I am sure he'll settle down again soon.