1 year old tantrums .... "normal"????

[pugsmum]

my ds is 14 months and as soon as he hit 1 he just started kickingoff about everything.... i try to put eveything out of his reach but he will point to things and say "ta" to indicate that he wants it and if i dont give it to him he will scream at in this hi pitched non crying scream.. run into the corner of the room and throw himself againtst the wall or floor and scream and cry . i do not give into him but its is becoming constant and i feel like all i ever say to him is no..
he will also come and give me thing wen i take it and say thank you he will kick off ... or if he cant reach of get some thing he will do the same !!
he also has a habbit of throwing everything on the floor whe nhe is finished with it ... eg his cereal, dinner beaker dummy (everythin)
and bizzarely keeps spitting!! randomly just doing little spits, i cant understand why..

should he understand what NO means by now and should he be doing it wen i say it etc? its constant and i am finding it hard to even have fun with him at the mo for worrying about his disapline and what to do!

I read somewhere that 'terrible twos' actually means their second year ie 12 months on. This fitted for ds and he has some amazing tantrums now at 18 months. I don't think they all do it but it does seem common for a lot of toddlers.

I think they do understand No but don't have the maturity to act on it. I just try and keep forbidden stuff out of his sight / reach. Also pick your battles if you hate feeling like No is taking over your day. If its not really dangerous I sometimes let him do something so the novelty wears off.

Sometimes ds clearly wants me to do something but I can't work out what, hopefully it will be better when he can speak a bit more.

He also does throwing but I'm working on this, taking plate away when I see warning signs and asking him to tell me 'all done' instead. Not come across spitting - maybe he saw an older child doing it?

Some LOs understand no but just resist it because the world is so exciting to them and that outweights anything else. It's perfectly normal. My DS is now 14 mo and still mostly ignores 'no', although sometimes he takes notice. I try to keep 'no' for potentially dangerous things and otherwise try distraction or moving everything out of his reach. It's a hard stage and i too have days when i feel all i have done is frustrate both myself and my DS with constant nos.

And rather than telling him 'no' because i don't want him going in cupboards i give him access to a cupboard full of tupperware which keeps him occupied... for a while!

My DS is the most content child most of the time, but he can tantrum with the best of them when he wants to - and he's been doing it since 9 months!

I have a 14 month old too, I'm finding distraction works best for now, for example tonight she started pulling all the CD's out of the CD rack, if I say 'no and remove her she will throw herself on the floor and scream. So I emptied all of her musical instruments loudly onto the floor in the middle of the room and she was there in seconds.
I'm really not sure she understands No yet. She gets the concept I think, but she'll shake her head then carry on doing it!
She also went through a very short phase of throwing food from her highchair when finished, I just completely ignored - didn't even say 'no', just looked away and gave no response at all. That worked and she doesn't do that any more at all thankfully!

Its mosly if not all frustration. My lo started at 13 months. At 27 months she still has them but her understanding is much much better so sometimes you can stop them in their tracks. Its a trying time, my sympathies!

I don't think they understand 'no' at this age, but I've only realised that since my DC have got older and do understand IYSWIM.

Distraction definitely works well, and it's worth keeping things you know he loves in reserve for distracting that are not available all the time. Noisy toys drive me to distraction, and I don't like DC playing them all the time so I kept drum, tambourine and a couple of press the button and they sing toys in various places round the house purely for distraction purposes.

Picking your battles helps as Albrecht and mantana said...if it's not something dangerous or breakable then I generally let my DC play with it.

Invest in a large plastic sheet for under the highchair and ignore him when he drops things. If he's in a dropping phase then try to give him opportunities to play with balls and cars, set up ramps etc. He wants to experiment with what things do, so try to set up ways to do it that won't drive you mad.