Can anyone help with a child's sleep problem please?

[LadySybilDeChocolate]

He's 12 so this has been going on for erm...a while. Ds rolls around in his sleep. Every night I hear bangs as he crashes into the sides of the bed. He wakes up and he looks exhausted, and I'm exhausted because I'm worried he'll fall off the bed. His first bed was a toddler bed but he spent more time on the floor then he slept in it. He's currently sleeping in a cabin bed. It has high sides and he's fallen off once but bashes into them on an hourly basis. I've tried lots of pillows but they fall off or he slides down the bed. I check on him and he moves constantly. He doesn't find it hard to get to sleep but he's knackered when he wakes. It's causing issues at school because he'll wake up and say he's feeling unwell so that he can sleep for longer. I'm really not sure what to do. He didn't sleep well as a baby, my GP prescribed a sedative for him so that I could sleep but I felt terrible abut it so didn't give it to him. Any ideas? (yawns)

I would change him back to a low bed for starters

Could you get a king size duvet and tuck the ends right under?

Ask GP for referral to a sleep clinic, though I am a bit puzzled as to why you have not even tried the sedative (what is it - melatonin?)

I'll have to get him a futon. He needed the storage so a cabin bed seemed like a good idea at the time. I've tried wrapping him up in a huge blanket so he can't move, it didn't work but he loved it. He said he felt like he was in a coccoon. The GP said the sedative was for me, not for him. I dose him up so I can sleep. I felt terrible drugging a baby. I spoke to the HV about his sleep but she was useless so I've put up with it. It's causing issues at school now though as he's knackered. I can't remember what it was, Phenergan I think.

I would suggest you check out sleep apnoea. Has he ever had ENT problems, tonsillitis, night sweats, bad breath, snoring, etc?

My 4yo had this and these were his symptoms but the main one being thrashing around in bed and snoring. I understand that it's usually a problem in preschoolers but the symptoms are so similar it may be worth considering?

Constantly snotty nose, pale complexion, big lymph nodes in his neck?

Bad breath yes. It comes and goes though but it's foul when it's there. He's always pale, but so am I. Lymph nodes at the back of his head (top of neck) are a little large, always have been. Only 2 episodes of tonsillitis. Doesn't snore, sometimes sounds gurgly/odd though. No ENT but he's asthmatic. I'll google sleep apnoea and ask the GP, thank you

Actually, he was admitted overnight about 4 years ago. He was unwell with a cold and his breathing didn't sound right at all. I called NHS direct and they sent an ambulance. His oxygen sats were measured throughout the night and dropped to 88 or something so they ended up giving him oxygen through a mask. The nurse said it probably happened at home also but wouldn't need treatment. I'd completly forgotten. Thank you ohbugrit! I'll pop him to the GP.

I could be way off the mark, and it took a long time to get to the bottom of it, but I hope it helps. Good luck.

I agree to go to the GP and have him referred to the sleep clinic. I agree that it could be sleep apnoea. What is his diet like i.e. does he like tea/ coffee etc, if so then stop them asap. Any sugar free drinks contain aspartame so stop those too as they are stimulants. How about the amount of cheese - renowned for creating nightmares if they have it before bed.

Does he watch TV/ play computer games before bed, again these can affect sleep quality.

He doesn't drink tea/coffee and has very little cola. Drinks are squash or diluted fruit juice. Laptop is turned off an hour before bed, computer games are turned off two hours before but he doesn't play on it a lot, once a week. I'm sure it's apnea, I watched him for a little while and he stopped breathing for 15 seconds every time he rolled over. I'm trying to get a gp appointment for him.

Thank you :) I'm really grateful.

That's interesting. DS would hold his breath for ages then startle and gasp, thrash around and go back to sleep. And repeat ad nauseum all night.

Here's hoping you get to the bottom of it soon, sleep is so important and he must be miserable. I'd imagine if it's affecting school your GP will be keen to resolve it quickly. Be warned though, a GP told me sleep apnoea was vanishingly rare and said DS's problem was behavioural.

This is not a normal sleep pattern. No child should wake up tired. Your DS needs a sleep study, I would have very little doubt that he has obstructive sleep apnoea. The fact that his O2 sats went to 88% in hosp is practically diagnostic of sleep apnoea and absolutely needs intervention. He is suffering and must be feeling crap. Once you get him sorted with sleep study +/- ENT review life will be so much better for him. And the house.
I speak from first hand experience. Took me forever to convince someone there was smthng amiss.
And ohbrugrit, you can tell your GP that it affects 1 to 2% of all children, possibly more, so not that rare. You might end up having to get stubborn on your request for a sleep study. But do. OSA (obstructive sleep apnoea) can have long lasting effects so it's important to check it out. GPs are not that aware of paediatric sleep apnoea, but are becoming more so.
I hope you get him sorted soon.
Oh, and any sleep consultant will tell you, sedatives will make the situation worse.
Sorry the long post but this is important and while some people pass it off as a minor issue (well rested people!), it is so not minor, and has such a major effect on the sufferer and the whole house.

Don't worry lurking, DS waved goodbye to his tonsils and adenoids last year, thanks to a supportive HV contacting the GP on our behalf. They pretty much had the referral letter written when we went back!

Agreed though, the impact is huge. DS now sleeps all night and has been so much happier and better behaved. He's also grown lots. Unfortunately I don't reap the benefits because his little sister's also a wakeful little soul but hey, 5 years without sleep and you sort of accept it!

Isn't the impact massive! And it's hard to explain to people quite what it's like. I used to think it was like a sleep famine, no better than a food famine, with that awful hunger for sleep. But as you say ohbugrit, 5 years without sleep, you do sort of accept it. Doesn't stop the hunger tho!
Great you have your LO sorted. We're still not fully sorted.

Thank you. I'll get this sorted. I'm surprised it wasn't flagged up when he had overnight sats monitoring. I did explain to them that he wasn't breathing properly when he was asleep, I could hear him from my room. This was the worst he's been though. He does tend to make bubbling noises during the night, kind of like he's gurgling I bought him a video camera for Christmas, would it help if I showed them what he's like? The hospital made me think that it's normal. It's not is it? God, I feel like the world's worst mother. Poor ds, I could have done something years ago.

Yes to filming it, great idea.

You're not the world's worst mother. If it hadn't been been for DS waking us up constantly which prompted us to think about his sleep patterns, I'd probably have left mine to it as well.

You are NOT the world's worst mother. How can you be your son's medical provider? You're his Mum, not his doctor. You're absolutely doing your job: looking for an answer. The hosp might have put his low sats down to his viral illness but really, with his history, it seems pretty obvious to me he needed further investigation. It's awful looking at your child sleeping, feeling that awful "smthng wrong here" feeling and not knowing where to go for help. You are right, it's not normal, he's suffering, causing probs at school. Palin and simple he's knackered. It sounds like his apnoea is severe enough so make a fuss and get him seen asap

I'll make him an appointment as soon as I can. He's an only child so I don't have anyone to compare him to. He's missed a lot of school this term, I just hope I can sort it out for him so that he doesn't miss any more.

Thank you. I'm incredibly grateful