Newborn question

[Listzilla]

So I'm due no. 2 in 4 weeks and I'm confused about how to handle the whole thing. Advice seems to range from 'stay in bed for 2 weeks and do nothing but feed and cuddle the baby' to 'get into a routine as soon as you can, and put the baby down for naps so they don't get used to being held'.

I held DD all day every day for the first few weeks because I felt guilty putting her down, and ended up unable to put her dwn for naps till she was 7 months old, which, frankly, wasn't great for me or my PND; I was glued to the couch for a lot of every day till my maternity leave ended. If I put her down she didn't sleep at all and ended up cranky.

What's the best balance of cuddles and independent sleep for a new little person?

I'm in the hold them if they want to be held camp. I use a sling when out and about and sometimes in the house if ds3 doesnt want to be put down.

He is 16 weeks, and I find that some days he just wants to hed most of the time, and other days, he is happy to sit in his bouncer, or lie on a mat and watch his brothers.

Oh and amby nature nest for a bed is my find of this baby - wish I had had one with ds1.

When they're tiny - hold them when they need to be held. If you have one that doesn't want to be put down ever, then try a sling :)

Babies are not really designed for routines until they get to somewhere between 12 and 16 weeks IMO, by then they seem to have sorted themselves into a pattern round which you can construct a routine that suits you, rather than trying to make a baby follow a set of instructions that have come from elsewhere.

Maybe I was just very unobservant but I couldn't make head nor tail of DD's day till I tried to get us into a routine; I read the Baby Whisperer and tried that, and suddenly everything clicked into place. It was as if DD read it before I did and was waiting for me to cop on! So in our case, using someone else's set of instructions was actually the best thing to do.

I have always gone with what the baby wants - dd1 was like yours and I was dreading that all over again. Battery operated swing was the only thing that gave me a break.

Dd2 was a dream - would be put down anywhere - crib, bouncy chair, rug on the floor and doze off. She was a dream baby but turning into a right bugger of a toddler so I cannot be smug about her unfortunately

Loopy, I was the other way around, by the time I copped that DD's napping habits were a problem, I just decided that I couldn't face sleep training her so I just sat under her for 3 naps every single day while everyone around me gave me the 'rod for my own back' speech. I tried her for one nap in her cot every weekend and the day before she turned 7 months, something clicked and she napped there for 2 hours. We never looked back : ) It nearly did drive me insane though.

I'm just not sure how my parents would manage when they have them for 2 days a week after I'm back in work (they'll be in creche the other 3 days, and I know they'll manage to work something out!)

Shoulda, she was fine in the swing for 15 minutes, but that was it!

Sounds like they're all just different anyway and I shouldn't try and make plans - he'll just do his own thing regardless : )