Last week, my son(3 1/2) had a friend(4) come over to play. It was the first time he had a friend over without their parents. Outdoor play in the snow was great, as was indoor play after. Much fun and laughter for a few hours. Then the friend wanted to play - Swiper? from Dora - I don't watch it, so I am not exactly sure. I should have known better than to let them swipe things back and forth, but it seemed harmless. I was in the next room when I heard a thwump, and my son started screaming. He had hidden behind a chair and was cornered when his friend tried to swipe something back, and couldn't get it. So he grabbed a metal golf club, and hit him hard on the head. We comforted my son and checked out his large bump. I called his mother to explain what happened, and asked her to come pick up her child. The friend hid in the bathroom for ten minutes until I told him to come out or I would come in and get him out. We made him sit on the sofa and emphatically told him that we don't hit or hurt anyone in our house, ever. He started to cry, then said he was going to take all our money and burn our house down! When his mother arrived, she asked what happened. He didn't answer and started to cry. She wrapped him in a bear hug, and took him home. She called later to see if my son was okay. He is, but this could have been a very serious injury.
We have had a number of good times with this friend and his family through the years, and thought that it would go on. Now I am not so sure. We plan on meeting with the parents soon to discuss this. The father lives/works away during the week, and is horrified. The mother is going through personal issues, is also dealing with a toddler, and her head is somewhere else.
Questions: How do we go forward with this? How do we deal with the parents? I need to know if they taught their son any lessons from this. They also are unaware of his threats. How do we establish ground rules for the future and not offend the parents? How can a person discipline someone else's child? How do I keep my child safe and secure in his own home? We have a no closed doors rule, and have packed away the clubs. As the friend is 4, does he even understand what he did, or will he be a danger in the future to my child? My anger is starting to subside, and I can forgive if I believe that this has been dealt with effectively. Am I overreacting? Any advice?