How would you solve this situation? Please help!

[tryingtobemarypoppins2]

Ds2 is 23 months. I co-slept and breastfeed so he was in our bed for a long time. The transition to a cot and his own room was fine initially (around 13months) but then he started getting very cross and wanted to be held to sleep, if not he would bash his head against the cot or the wall.

We ignored the head banging but it got worse and the bruises where shocking. So we tried a bed and layed down with him. He loved that. But as we started to try and move away he started the head banging again! :0

So we are now in a situation of a) lay with him for 30mins until he falls asleep....but he often wakes at 3am to find us not there and ends up in our bed.
or b) or have a screaming, head banging, getting out of bed, throwing toys, waking DS1 up etc etc.

I would keep going and try to ignore the head bashing but he looks shocking, and I am really worried he will fling himself into funiture and really hurt himself.......he is so cross with us for leaving him :(

Any help would be so helpful, thank you.

Argh! Poor you, that's a horribly stressful situation to be in.

I'm guessing he now knows the most effective way of ensuring you do what he wants wrt sleep and I suspect that you will either have to give in completely and go back to co-sleeping and hope it won't take him too long before he can be encouraged to sleep solo again.....

....or, if that's stopping you and your OH from getting decent sleep (they're bloody wriggly at this age IME!!) then I think you're going to have to find ways of minimising ways your DS2 can hurt himself, bite the bullet and absolutely stick to your guns wrt him staying in his own bed and getting back to sleep on his own until he realises you won't give in this time. So I'm guessing you would have to pad everything in his room that he could use as to throw himself against, tape up drawers, childlock cupboards, remove certain items etc. etc. then it's a case of gritting your teeth.

I wonder if you could do some play scenarios with him to encourage solo sleeping? Enact bedtimes and sleeping using toys etc, get him to pretend to be Mummy and Daddy and to put you to bed, read you a story, kiss you goodnight etc....

Does he like books? Have a search around for some good positive bedtime scenarios that might influence him.

Rehearse bedtime with him at several points during the day. "What happens after you put your pyjamas on? What do we do then?" etc. etc.

Does he have a nightlight or something like that, would that help? A comforter?
Could you promise him that you will go back and check on him in a few minutes and arrange to leave something that shows you've been in? (assuming a nightlight!)

Have you tried the Supernanny sit on the floor with your back to him technique while he goes to sleep? Would that make him worse, or would he at least be reassured by your presence? I know the lying down with him didn't work, but might this be worth a try?

I hope one or more of the above suggestions helps! Good luck.

Thank you so so much. We did try padding everything but its so hard padding all the funiture! We are attemping the super nanny approach.....we just haven't made it to the sitting on the floor stage! I did get one leg off his bed tonight and did turn away from him :( he just rubbed my back instead