Sharing Xmas presents

[mrspepperpotty]

Just wondered what you do when it comes to sharing a toy that belongs specifically to one DC (eg an Xmas present). Do you allow that DC to decide whose turn it is to play with it, and are they allowed to veto their siblings playing with it? Or do all toys have to be shared fairly no matter who they belong to?

My DC are 2, 4 and 6. Up till now I have tended towards the latter approach, but as they grow older I am not sure if that is fair or not.

If it is in their room they get to dictate who plays with it and can remove it. They also get to decide whether their sibling can go in their room.

If they have brought it out of their rooms e.g. downstairs or left it next to the toilet then they have priority on the toy but are expected to share if they aren't playing with it. They can remove it but it has to be to their bedrooms and nowhere else.

In practice its a bit more fluid that this as they like playing together and often blend toys etc, but these are my basic groundrules.

Hmm, good rule but that's a bit tricky for us as DC1 and DC2 share a bedroom!

I was thinking of asking this myself.

Mine are 2 & 4 and I tend to encourage sharing but at the same time give the child who actually 'owns' the toy priority . The dc are probably as confused as I am...

The thing is, 9 times out of 10 it will be ds2 who wants something belonging to ds1 rather than the other way around, and I don't want to cause resentment by forcing ds1 to share everything - especially since there is a good chance he has specific 'plans' for his toys at any one time, while ds2 will just chuck them around a bit and be fairly easily pleased with something else.

I have chatted to ds1 about the importance of sharing and the fact that if we have to buy two of everything there will be a lot less choice of toys as we don't have enough money to buy duplicates AND new stuff. He is beginning to understand a little .

I am far from sure I am getting this right, though, so it will be good if someone else comes along with better advice soon.

Perhaps they could have a cupboard or surface or toybox that is theirs instead? Depends on how much you want to reorganise everything I suppose!

I say if it was given to them it's theirs. I will encourage sharing, if suitable, but it is ultimately the call of the owner.

Partually this is because dd1 (11) is very careful with things, dd2 (8) is careless and inclined to loose pieces, and ds (4) can be distructive iyswim . Nothing to do with age, btw, that's always been the case. Partually because, as lecce says, ds would be more interested in dd2's things (he hates to be left out) and dd2 would be more interested in dd1's things than the other way round.

Things like books they get first reading, but can't refuse to let the others read afterwards, but the others can't do puzzles etc. in the book without permission.

They're generally good about sharing, occasionally I'll offer dd1 a mild bribe (along the lines of while they're playing with it we'll do this desirable activity) to help, but usually they reach a compromise between them.

my children have their own toys some they dont mind sharing others are their favourites and so i ask them nicely to give the other a go so that they learn to share, but after an apropriate time frame to give it back. if one child is not using that toy and the other wants to play with it i tell them they have to ask the other not me and if they say no that is their choice it is theirs but i encourage them to say yes to be nice but without forcing them, after all their are things of mine i may not want to share at times incase of ruin or the cost of the :0)

I think the owner of the toy should be encouraged but not forced to share. If they are forced then what is the point of being given something? It isn't really yours-it belongs to the family. Most toys are better played with by more than one person but some aren't and the decision should be the child's with the same rules for everyone in the hose.