HELP! How do I get my malingering son (11) to school????

[mrszimmerman]

two days this week he's got out the door and has suddenly buckled with 'nausea' blaming breakfast or whatever.
The school is lovely, he's been very happy there but I feel such an idiot for letting him get away with it for the first day and now he's done it for a second day missing out important yr6 work, I'm just furious but trying to be calm.
I know dh is going to hit the roof that I've been played for a sucker again.
But it's difficult to get a great big lad to school when he's feigning such illness.
Or maybe he isn't quite right... how do you know what to do?
I thought if I didn't manage to get him in at lunchtime I'd go in at the end of the day on my own and try to speak to the teacher to double check that there isn't something going on which I don't know about, I've checked with ds of course and school seems fine...
sigh...
Any empathetic advice would be hugely appreciated

I would send him in as soon as he shows signs of recovery. Plus if he's that ill then he obviously needs to be lying down in bed all the time, no electronic devices-they can make you feel queezy, toast only to eat. I found that sorted out the genuine ill from the fakers.

If he "recovers" too late in the day to be sent in reasonably, then you'd better find him some work to catch up on what he's missed. I'm evil when it comes to trying to skive

Take him to the doctor to rule out any possible illness - at the end of the day, a child "buckling" could be quite serious (although you know it probably isn't).
Then make staying at home fairly unpleasant. Genuinely sick people have to lie on their beds (no tv, no gaming, no phone) and just sip water & have some rich tea or equally unappetising snack until they feel better. If he is well enough to be downstairs watching tv & eating food, he is well enough to get to school.
Harness you DH's support & get him to do the school run in the morning.

Yes I'm doing that, he can read but that's all. Unfortunately (in this instance) he loves reading! But I'm going to make a bid for his going in at 1.15.

Thanks for the advice

He is a real natural thespian, I can't deny it, the 'buckling' is so theatrical it's just obvious.

Not even reading. He needs rest. And only dry toast and water.

I think I'm going to go for 1.15 to school and if he's 'too ill' go for not reading too, but it's hard as his room's full of books.....!

Good luck with the school run. If he's still that "ill". Curtains shut, no lights. Poor baby, he clearly needs to rest/sleep :)

Just to play devils advocate here, are you sure he's malingering?
I only ask as I used to leave for school and then come back 5 minutes later 'sick' because I couldn't face going to school because I was being bullied.
I did feel sick (fear and nerves I suppose) but I felt better as soon as I knew i didn't have to go to school.
Just wonder if it's worth asking gently if there's something going on?

Sounds like what I did when being bullied. Too scared to say anything, so just pretended to be ill, then 'recovered' in the afternoon. Or not, if I wanted the following day off, too...

Good points, I have asked and so has dh and inlaws, he tends to be very open about those kind of things, he was bullied a few times over the years but has always talked openly with us as soon as these things happen. But I will see if there's anything that he's not telling me if I can.
His teachers today say he's fine and well adjusted and don't have any worries about him psychologically. Dh says he just fancied some time off!!!
Parenting is so hard.... I am a softie.

Just to echo what has been said above, if it happens again and you're unsure if he is feigning illness make a point of taking him to school as soon as he perks up. at 11 they can't keep up the act all day. my 11 year old who'd hurt his knee so badly one morning that he couldn't walk (mine is also quite the little actor!) forgot himself and starting running around the living room by lunchtime!