Help with child behaviour

[smitgla]

Please help! My son who will be 5 in Feb is a delightful, well mannered child the majority of the time. I have always thought that he is older than his years as since he could talk, we (and the nursery staff) always felt we were talking to an adult - his negotiation, reasoning and knowledge is well advanced. My little angel however has a serious streak, where he can get cross and moody - if anyone was to say hi (even people he knows), he is grumpy back (and sometimes rude). Getting ready for school is a joke - he doesn't listen or do as you say - and certainly doesn't understand the concept of hurry up! When we drop off at school - everyone else is happy - but our son is grumpy (he loves school so i know this is not the issue). I talk to him about his first response and how it makes people feel - and he then gets stressed that he has upset someone (as he is a very caring/loving child). Threats (and follow through) of naughty step and losing toys etc work for a day and then he doesn't seem bothered. I know he is only 4 and suppose am looking to find out if this is common, is there anything anyone can suggest to manage it better (we are losing the battle) and if we just have to go with it and let it disappear?? Any input is very welcome.

Sounds like normal behaviour for that age. I have an angel 75% of the time, but if I rush her or she gets it in her mind that she doesn't want to do something then out comes the monster. This is worse when she is tired. I try to pick my battles and only deal with one thing at a time. I sometimes think that she is "getting away" with stuff that she shouldn't but there comes a time when I need to get off her back and give her a break. She certainly doesn't seem to hear us at times, so I often repeat myself a few times and if she still doesn't seem to get it then I ask what I just said. Sometimes the results are interesting. I think my nagging just becomes noise at times so she assumes it is the same old killjoy stuff and tunes out. Sometimes I have little competitions like I bet you can't get your uniform on quicker than i dress your little brother etc. Makes the boring more interesting. Try to set up motivational rewards system, chart, stickers, treats etc. Focus on the positive, reinforce. Got to rush off now, but hope it helps...

I think we are sometimes tougher on "good" children because we know they know how to behave properly so we think "why can't they just do it all the time then?". My DS1 is just 6 and is very well-behaved, so when he is naughty I am aware that I tend to overreact as it is so out of character - compared to if my DS2 (who is a little monkey!) did the same thing. No one can be perfect - maybe you are expecting a bit too much from him?

Is he an only? I think that you are just expecting too much from a small DC.
I was a very reasonable, caring DC and sometimes it all gets a bit much! You don't want someone talking everything through-you just want to be unreasonable and grumpy sometimes!!
I would ignore a lot of it-go with the positive.