3yo won't stay in bed

[butterfliesinmytummy]

DD2 was 3 in September and is increasingly difficult to get to and stay in bed at night. She's always had a good bedtime routine and we go up to brush teeth / read story at 7.30, then lights out around 7.45pm although recently it's been nearer 8pm. There's lots of prevaricating with putting soft toys to bed, cuddles, kisses, toilet etc. Then after I go downstairs, she runs into her sister's room and hides under the duvet or comes downstairs. Last night she did this 8 times! It's normally to tell me she loves me, or likes my new haircut, or ate apple at school etc. Sometimes she tells me she's scared of sleeping but gets lots of reassurance for this.

We've tried star charts but despite her choosing the prize at the end of the week, she tells me she's not interested and doesn't care if she gets a sticker or not. What can I do? It seems to be getting worse. I normally take her back upstairs and have been trying to just take her up without saying anything, no eye contact, and putting her back in bed, but if she doesn't get a cuddle and proper tucking in, she starts shouting and DD1 is trying to sleep by then.....

Damn - just wrote a long and detailed reply and MN stole it! Basically the short of it was: keep doing the taking back to bed with no talking. Don't even reassure about fear of sleeping - it's v.v likely to be just another delaying tactic. DD2 did this too (she turned 3 in Oct, so it's a recent memory!). May take a few nights of extreme patience and a large glass of wine but she'll get bored of no attention.
Oh, and talk to DD1 about how it may take a while, but you're trying to teach her little sister to be as good at going to bed as she is (our two DDs share a room, so it was even harder!)
Good luck

Some children are genuinely scared of the dark or being in bed on their own. DS1 was 4.6 before he would go sleep without and adult in the room and DS2 is 4.7 and finds it very hard to sleep without a cuddle - as I have to get DD to sleep in the evenings (DH not home til 8.30) I read to them until they are almost asleep then take DD to her room and get her to sleep. DS2 will now go to sleep on his own at that point but only after I've promised to come back in to him once DD is asleep. But this is just what works for me and my family.
I do all this because I can remember being terrified of the things under my bed and the dark generally and just not being able to get to sleep but not daring to go down and tell my parents in case I got told off.
Can you rea to her or just sit with her til she's asleep. Three is still very young to be going to sleep alone .