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Original poster

Bullying and Aspergers

42 replies

PrettyCandles · 10/01/2012 08:58

Can Aspergers be 'bullied' out of a child? Not in the sense of cured!

If a person with AS is bullied for their socially inadequate behaviour or geeky interests, for example, could they as a consequence try to fit in by suppressing these aspects of themselves?

What effect would this have on them?

OP posts:
takeonboard · 10/01/2012 09:02

I have wondered about this too......hope someone wise comes along with the answer.

Peachy · 10/01/2012 09:06

No

Mor elikely tehy would go on to be one of the many people with ASD who develop severe depression.

ASD is due to differences in the brain- it varies which ones exactly but common differences are in teh corpus callosum, or there is talk of an overgroth of cells in the emotional areas. Youc an't bully that out of people! You can retrain certain social skills using coping techniques- eg the classic old 'look at the nose nd nobody will notice a lack of eye contact' trick- but bullying will NOT effect that.

Not sure I am wise but close to end of an MA in Autism

5inthebed · 10/01/2012 09:10
Hmm

Why would you think this?

A person with any type of ASD usually is not aware of their differences and cannot help the way they are.

See what Peachy said, she talks sense.

Original poster
PrettyCandles · 10/01/2012 09:12

Would the degree of Aspergers make a difference?

OP posts:
reallytired · 10/01/2012 09:13

Trying to bully aspergers out of someone is about as ineffectual as trying to bully someone out of being black!

All that bullying does is destroy confidence and as Peachy says it makes aspies depressed. In that respect aspies are idential to black people.

A better stragery is to show the aspie love, teach them assertiveness, prehaps teach social skills with stories. People having geeky interests is part of the world. Without a few geeks the internet would not exist! Prehaps the important thing is to teach an aspie how to recongise the facial language to know that someone is bored.

Why do you ask?

TheHumancatapult · 10/01/2012 09:14

yeah dont you now being bulloed means that your going to be jut fine and chances are there end up depressed or even dead

LunarRose · 10/01/2012 09:15

no the degree of aspergers won't make a difference

the idea's just vile

Original poster
PrettyCandles · 10/01/2012 09:15

I'm thinking retrospectively, trying to understand someone.

OP posts:
ApocalypseCheeseToastie · 10/01/2012 09:16

The thought of any parent / carer trying to bully ASD type behaviours out of any child makes my blood run cold.........has anybody mentioned the higher than average levels of suicide amongst people with Autism / Aspergers yet ?

LunarRose · 10/01/2012 09:17

It's like saying to someone you're not allowed to be you, that you isn't good enough, and expecting them to be ok about that?!?!?!?!

5inthebed · 10/01/2012 09:17

Bullying is bullying, no matter what spin you put on it.

LunarRose · 10/01/2012 09:18

Please don't drip feed info Pretty. You may find some very helpful responses if you explain, but the post you've opened with is horrible

Marne · 10/01/2012 09:19

Of course it can't Angry.

The more dd1 gets bullied the worse her Aspergers becomes (she regresses) the more anxious she becomes and the more depressed she becomes.

Maybe if people/children were educated more about special needs and autism they would accept that not everyone is the same and its cool to be different.

I spend hours trying to teach dd1 how to react to bullies and how to handle herself, she knows she is different and i try to teach her to be proud of herself and the way she is, it would be boring if everyone was the same, i want her to feel good about herself not to have to hide who she is to keep other people happy.

Original poster
PrettyCandles · 10/01/2012 09:23

OK, I've clearly not been clear.

I am not considering, planning or condoning bullying anyone.

I am trying to understand a person dear to me. I am trying to understand what they went through and how it has shaped them.

This person is in their 40s. Some attitudes and behaviours that we would consider utterly unacceptable for our children now, were fairly mainstream in their childhood.

And, yes, this person is chronically depressed.

OP posts:
reallytired · 10/01/2012 09:23

In the past punishment used to be part of Applied Behavior Analysis for treating children with autism. Is that what you are thinking of Pretty?

LunarRose · 10/01/2012 09:27

I think you'll find a very different response now. Although perhaps the responses you have had do help you to understand.

LunarRose · 10/01/2012 09:28

Male or Female pretty?

Original poster
PrettyCandles · 10/01/2012 09:31

I don't think so, Reallytired, because there was no diagnosis, probably not severe enough - under the radar, IYSWIM.

More the ordinary, every day, mocking and teasing that children do, and that most kids learn to cope with. Nowadays, if a child could not cope with such things, we would intervene, or at least it would flag up as a potential problem with the child's social abilities.

Sometimes, of course, the teasing escalates...

And as i recall from my own childhood, teachers could be very sarcastic and cutting.

OP posts:
LunarRose · 10/01/2012 09:31

They've found females are more likely to be able to do to replicate (not quite the right word) neurotypical behaviour, albeit at a very high cost in terms of mental wellbeing.

Although I think the article might help even if the individual is male

www.tonyattwood.com.au/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=917&Itemid=720

Thumbwitch · 10/01/2012 09:32

God what a horrible idea. I realise because I have read all your posts that you are asking retrospectively but no, just no.

It's reminiscent of trying to beat "girliness" out of boys to "toughen them up"; trying to shoehorn everyone into a narrow range of "behavioural norm" that doesn't allow for or accept people's individuality; or just try and make the ridicule "normal" for them so that they don't notice it any more.

All of which are unpleasant.

Original poster
PrettyCandles · 10/01/2012 09:32

Female.

OP posts:
LunarRose · 10/01/2012 09:39

Definitely read the article

I haven't got a diagnosis, but I'm pretty sure I am aspergers (only really realised when I was going to classes on DS's autism and realised a lot of the aspergers stuff applied to me. The article really hit home, I have certainly flown under the radar and no doubt will continue to do so, but it causes untold issues in my personal relationships.

Peachy · 10/01/2012 09:40

There's a lot of suggestions that bullying and forcing females to fit an NT image if they have an ASD lead to eating disorders later in life; certainly I followed that pattern although I am not aware of anything above correlational study level. I know ds1 ended up being treated for an eating disorder after terrible bullying at school.

ValarMorghulis · 10/01/2012 09:42

Are you shitting me?

No Bullying will not "cure" someone with Aspergers. They will still have Aspergers and will still struggle socially. Probably even more so.

Aspergers doesn't mean stupid though. They already "try to fit in" because they are aware that they are different. They know that people bully them because of it.

Beating someone or socially humiliating them will not suddenly teach them how to be a fully functioning member of society. It will break them and push them further within themselves.

Bullying is never, ever anything other than vile and cruel torture, but inflicted on a person who little understands society and its working at the best of times is just beyond sick.

LunarRose · 10/01/2012 09:55

Valar - OP is trying to understand retrospectively, we all responded that way until we realised!!!

Peachy - Funnily enough eating disorders are mentioned in paragraph 10 of the article linked to above!!!