Lack of baby bedtime & 4 month sleep regression

[emoo777]

I am desperate to give my 4 month old boy a bed time. So far he has always come to bed with us (9ish). I have been trying to move him towards more like 7 gradually but he just has a 30 minute nap and is then awake for the duration. We tried gradually moving his bedtime back but to do this you really need a routine and I am finding this hard with a toddler too. Any advice?
Also, he used to go 9 to 6 without feeding or and now it has been every hour for a few weeks. Could be the 4 month sleep regression? I just don't know what to do as dh is now in a another bedroom and I am cosleeping to try to get some sleep. We need to get our lives back - please help!

Bump

What's your toddler's routine? Can you blend the two together? It is very hard at this age with a toddler and a baby but it does get better, I promise! There's 18m between mine - DS is now 13 months and they go to bed at the same time (6pm) and both sleep through till 5. It might just be a case of muddling-through until your baby's a bit older - more like 8m. Then they can have baths together, the baby will start to get to grips with a bedtime routine and stories etc, and things will be easier.

Feeding every hour during this growth spurt sounds pretty normal but it will ease off.

I'd live to know the secret too, op my house is tge same except my 4 month old will not even go down for half an hour until he has decided it's bedtime
my toddlers routine is very quick, teeth, wash, toilet, pjs all in the bathroom and then into dark bedroom a cuddle and goodnight. Anything longer and she won't let us leave! If I try to take ds up earlier he cries and won't settle so I can be up there 2-3 hours!

I remember having something similar. DD would whinge exactly 45mins after going down. We started reducing the amount of shhhh-ing we did and gradually she grew out of it - until of course the next cold, tooth cutting, bug etc.

We also had to bring lights out forward to 6:45pm at the absolute latest otherwise she would get over stimulated trying to stay awake. Some nights even 6:15! It meant DH didn't get to see her at night but had he been that bothered, I'm sure he could have got up earlier instead of leaving me to do that too. Other than that, keeping the bedtime routine consistent, dimmed lights, quiet half hour playing before bath etc is probably your best bet.

We also wouldn't let her nap in the day beyond 4pm.

Can't really think of anything else.

Just an update in the hope that it helps someone else. We had a breakthrough last night. As I have the flu, we decided to try to settle ds in his own room instead at 7 and I fed him well but put him down awake. He slept for 5 hours and fed again once before getting up. This was dramatically different to the previous night. Not really sure what made the difference but have noticed for naps he sleeps for longer if I put him down awake. Also, I tend to pick him up at the first whimper so maybe being in his own room I didn't hear him (I am a very light sleeper so he can't have made much noise). Lets see what he does tonight. Thanks for all your support and advice.