Independence concerns - 4yr old reluctant to feed and dress himself

[Mouth]

My DS1 (just turned 4 recently) will not feed himself (apart from breakfast, puddings and things like sandwiches he can just pick up). For his main course, he will sometimes start eating himself but after a few mouthfuls gets bored and wanders off or just sits and looks at the food. I end up feeding him the rest of his meal until he's full usually - or at least help him along. He can do it - it's just laziness. If he's eating with his hands he will sometimes cram a huge piece of food in his mouth just to have it gone out of his hands so he can do something else with them! He will start holding a banana but hand it to me after a few mouthfuls - he still wants it but can't be bothered to hold it!! I know helping him reinforces the behavoiur but if I don't (and I've tried) he just doesn't eat... Is this a common problem?
Same with getting dressed and undressed. He can get undressed but when I say 'now take your clothes off' (i.e. before the bath) he just stands and waits for me to do it. No amount of bribing or encouragement seems to work. He has tried to dress himself a few times but seems to struggle a bit with this, so fair enough, I help.
He just doesn't seem to be bothered about being independent in the way some kids are when you say 'you're a big boy now, you need to be able to fasten your own buttons' etc
Again, any advice?? Thanks

No adivce from me, as my DS (although younger at nearly 2) is exactly the same! He has no interest in being independent at all!

I know he is only little still, but his behaviour is the exact opposite of most of his (fiercely independent peers!)

Will be watching with interest...

Yes, it is getting really annoying as nothing seems to spur him on to want to be doing what comes naturally to most!! He is getting easier to handle as he gets older in some ways but I'm worried that he won't be able to do things that others do when he starts primary school in September...

I think part of it is laziness / no motivation to do these things but there may also be a bit of a physical delay / problem as he now holds his pen with a fist grip (he was doing it right but then lost interest in drawing/writing).

Hopefully it is one of those things that will all just 'come together'...

DS (nearly 6 ) would still rather I dressed him. He has never had any problems at school and will do it himself when he can. But he'd far rather be lazy. his 2 year old sister dresses herself

That should say when he has to, not when he can (bf baby interfering with concentration)

My DS1(age 4) was like this. I think its boys!

I didn't worry too much as I knew he could feed and dress himself.

Things started to improve once he started school. They obviously have to feed themselves and get changed for PE. This has given him a sense of independence. Although he still needs a lot of nagging!

I also have a 4.6 DS who is completely uninterested in feeding or dressing himself. His 2 year old brother is better at both than he is, which I had hoped would spur him on, but in fact has made no difference. I just pray he is better at doing things herself at school when I'm not there.

My 3.6 yr old DD is like this. 'feed me like a baby!' . She can but she won't. At nursery she wipes herself etc so I'm hoping once she starts reception in Sept she will get into the habit of independent self care... Frustrating though. She dresses herself for my mum!

My DS1 was like this (he's 6 now and happy to dress and feed himself). Like other posters he was fine at school - in fact the classroom assistant once told me he was the fastest of the reception boys to get changed after PE - I couldn't believe it! My DD was more independent, and DS2 has always fed himself and refuses to let me help him!