Can anyone help?

[anotherstressfulmorning]

Hi

I need some advice on what to do with my 4 year old. They go to nursery twice a week for a full day while we are at work and every nursery morning they wake up and immediately go in to meltdown as soon as they realize they are going to nursery. Then cue tears, tantrums etc. Nothing has happened at nursery and they say after about 5 mins he is fine and the model child when there.
I have tried the soft approach and the hard approach but nothing works. My husbands always seems to take on a more aggressive approach which I hate and then I know its wrong but we always end up having an argument. In turn all three of us are then leaving the house with everyone upset and angry.
For a while now my son has became very clingy, he wont go anywhere without us, he used to stay with my parents and my brother if on the rare occasion we needed a babysitter but now again kicks off if we dare try to leave him. I don't know how he has ended up so insecure. He is a very much loved and probably which I know again is my fault but spoiled child in every other way. When I say spoiled not in a material way just with love and attention although he probably does get everything he wants, possibly where I am going wrong!

Any advice will be very much appreciated! Thank you.

One of my sons was like yours, but later found out he had other problems which didn't help matters. However I still wouldn't have changed what we did.

Nursery is a big, noisy fun filled place but to a small person they can scary!
Perhaps he cannot cope and just isn't ready to do so.

How about a child minder

How long has he been doing this? Ever since he started without a break, or could he have got into a pattern? To be honest my DS loved nursery after he'd settled, but I have many memories of forcibly manhandling him screaming into the bike seat. I was calm and straight forward, got him in there (arms working like a machine, mouth saying things like 'there we go, all ready! Time for work and nursery! etc) Could you try leaving at a different time to your DH, whether you leave earlier (he would have to butt out while you got DS ready) or he leaves earlier? This would change the pattern and give DS less of an audience. It might not work instantly but would allow you both to develop a different way of leaving. Nursery may well be big and noisy but it's nothing compared to school. Is there anything you can do stop to help with the sudden 'realization'? I used to talk DS 'down' when he went to sleep, about his day and what would happen the next day. xx