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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

5 year old playing with own faeces - help

23 replies

KiwiJo · 07/01/2012 18:15

My very bright 5 year old dd has a horrible habit of playing with her own poo. We have explained that it is full of germs and that it could make her very sick and we know that she understands what we are saying. However, she seems compelled to continue this horrible habit. Do we ignore her and hope it goes away? This has been going on for about a year on and off. I cannot link this behaviour with anything that is happening at home and she has not gone back to school yet, so that cannot be the problem. Help!

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

ScarlettIsWalking · 07/01/2012 18:16

Does she take it out of the toilet bowl? Can you explain what you mean by playing with it?

Moomoomie · 07/01/2012 18:23

If this is for real.... Which I doubt. Just go to the toilet with her while she has her bowels open and flush it away. Simples.

SoupDragon · 07/01/2012 18:28

She can't be that bright if she can't understand not to play with her own shit.

ArtVandelay · 07/01/2012 18:52

Aren't germs and sickness a bit abstract. Surely talking about smelling of poo and nobody wanting to sit next to her or hold hands with her if she's pooey would be a better deterent.

VeryStressedMum · 07/01/2012 19:15

Course she understands what you're saying about the poo as she's 5!! Tbh if my kids were playing with their poo at 5, them getting sick is not the first thing I'd be worried about.

AtYourCervix · 07/01/2012 19:21

How is she getting hold of it? She is 5. Supervise her in the bathroom.

Chundle · 07/01/2012 19:25

I don't think this message calls for harsh comments! OP has come on here looking for advice!!!
OP can you give us any more details does she put her hand in the toilet? What happens??

RumpledTitSkin · 07/01/2012 19:43

Well I can't imagine the op will come back after those helpful comments! What was she thinking, coming on a parenting site to ask for help and advice regarding her child?

Sorry, I have no idea but if ignoring her for a year hasn't worked then maybe you need to take a harsher route. At 5 I would agree that not wanting to smell of poo should be a deterrant?

lisad123 · 07/01/2012 19:47

Sorry but those comments aren't helpful at all!!
I'm forever telling kids not to pick their nose, they still do it!!

Playing with poo isn't something new for me to hear, you often hear it for children with SN or emotional difficulties. Is she going though a hard time right now? Is she still in nappies?

LynetteScavo · 07/01/2012 19:48

Maybe the OP has a Geman style loo where there is a shelf before the water (which the poo lands on, and is therefore easily accessible).

I would be investigating if the child had any hidden SN.

Why you say "play with" is she exploring the contents? I imagine they actually might be quite interesting to an inquisitive 5 year old!

Chundle · 07/01/2012 19:51

You could post this over in the special needs children's section. There's some lovely mums over there always willing to help who have probably been through similar and may be able to help. Also just because a child is very intelligent doesn't meant there isn't any underlying needs, intelligence can mask things

boredandrestless · 07/01/2012 19:52

Does she have any other concerning behaviour going on?

This is a fairly common occurence in the SN world.

If it is a sensory seeking thing have you tried giving her lots of tactile, sensory activities to play with like play doh, corn flour 'gloop' etc.

I would be supervising her bathroom visits in the short term to put a stop to it, and to hopefully change the habit/routine she has gotten into.

JustHecate · 07/01/2012 19:55

Mine did this (autism). Does your child have autism? Mind you, I suppose not, or you would have mentioned it in your OP.

My advice is to go to the doctor and ask for a referral for some help and advice.

Moomoomie · 07/01/2012 21:07

I know I sound harsh in my post, but if the op wants help and advice maybe she needs to add a bit more detail.
I have two children with SEN, and toileting issues so I understand, but I would be supervising my child whilst using the loo, and seeking professional help as it has been going on for a year.

Original poster

KiwiJo · 20/01/2012 11:33

Hi, sorry I've been away - distracted by motherhood and work.

As far as I am aware DD has no issues that would explain this, which is why I find it difficult to understand and came for help. To try and answer your questions:

We have a normal, UK style loo - no shelf

This sounds gross, but she is putting her finger up her bottom to get the poo out. She used to have no trouble pooing - maybe we need to make sure her fibre levels are increased? She has a good diet, but could always eat more fresh fruit and veg as with most children!

She is not autistic. She is quite a dreamy child with an extremely active imagination. We have at least 2 of her imaginary friends in the house at any one time (one is younger and does all the naughty things, one is older and wise). She is quite an emotional child, and does not hold back in letting us know which emotion she is experiencing.

She has the most amazing feigned deafness to the point that I arranged for a hearing test that she passed with flying colours, but the result of that is that we do shout at her when we have asked he to do something three or four time politely and at normal volume. She suffered from a lot of ear infections as a baby and toddler so we do make sure she can hear clearly before getting annoyed at her not listening.

She has a little sister (2½) who has a very sweet, engaging nature. We have infinitely more patience with dd2 as she usually does as asked the first or second time and can be tickled out of naughtiness.

I have asked (with heart in mouth) if anyone has been touching her bottom, but she assures me that this is not the case.

Does this help at all?

OP posts:

Chundle · 20/01/2012 11:46

Ok I'd say she's perhaps constipated. Get some linseed on her cereal, and give her prunes/figs etc or some prune juice.

Original poster

KiwiJo · 20/01/2012 12:09

Will do, thanks. I'll keep an eye on things and see how it goes. There has been an improvement since my original post, but I think you're right.

We have given her some prunes, but she will only eat one at a time and that is under protest (they're not my favourites either!)

I will look out for linseed though

OP posts:

TunipTheVegemal · 20/01/2012 12:19

I think - curiosity, the fascination of breaking a taboo.
Apart from the constipation theory (which does seem quite likely) I think you need to not freak about it (because the greater the taboo, the greater the fascination), just make a huge fuss about hygiene and make sure she keeps her nails really short, scrubs her hands before every meal with antibac handwash and a nailbrush, etc.
You can't physically stop her doing it but you can make the price she has to pay for doing it so great she decides it's not worth it IYSWIM.

Original poster

KiwiJo · 20/01/2012 13:45

We can certainly make the right fuss, and not the wrong fuss. I do indeed SWYM.

OP posts:

Davsmum · 20/01/2012 13:52

It has probably become a habit which originally started as curiosity, ?
Your DD is certainly old enough to understand that it is not a clean thing to do - and also not a hygienic thing to do !

If she continues, despite you teaching her about the health aspects etc - perhaps a word with your doctor or Health visitor may help ?

HereIGo · 20/01/2012 13:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ahhhhhpushit · 21/01/2012 19:44

"Then every night if she has not put up finger in her bum she gets the treat. If she has, she doesn't"

God it's great being a parent sometimes isnt it!

My first thoughts - constipation or threadworms and it's become a habit. Sounds gross but maybe it feels a little bit nice. 5 is definitely old enough to understand this is not an acceptable thing to do. You need to make sure she has exceptional hand hygiene.

Heb84 · 02/06/2022 20:27

Got to comment on this thread despite it being a very old message. I would hope that in the last few years people's ignorance about SEN has improved because some of these posts are outrageous and show massive ignorance. This is a well-known trait for children with Autism and other special educational needs who are in need of sensory stimulation or are unaware of what is socially unacceptable. Go to your GP, ask for support but DO NOT read these ignorant and judgemental comments and feel you are doing something wrong. Awful people who know nothing and should be ashamed of their response to a person seeking help and advice.

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