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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

How did you managed to wean your child off the dumy and at what age?

27 replies

Bilin · 07/01/2012 14:40

I have a 18months child. She has been using dumy since she was born. I tried weaning her off when she was a year old but was unsuccessful. I am now trying again to wean her off the dumy, last night she cried for about 30minutes for the dumy before she eventually fell asleep.
She normally uses the dumy at night.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

littletinkers · 07/01/2012 14:47

Not ideal but we waited until 2 then father christmas took it away and left a stocking... overnight no problem... lots of warning etc

rootietootie · 07/01/2012 14:49

Dc1 was about 3ish iirc and had heaps of dummys. As they got lost I stopped replacing them, and let him know when we got down to the last one. It eventually went missing and that was that, no more dummys. Was a long time ago and i can remember any trouble but can imagine there was a few days of restlessness! Will probably do that with ds2 when the time comes!

rootietootie · 07/01/2012 14:50

that should be I can't remember any troubles :)

OhDeeeeeryMe · 07/01/2012 14:51

I did what little tinkers did too!

ShineYourButtonsWithBrasso · 07/01/2012 14:54

DD3 was 3 and father christmas took them away. We had mentioned this to her before and then forgot about it until she went to be so exhausted from christmas day without it that we decided to give it ago.

Any dummies found in the next few days afer christmas were put under the tree and we made a big fuss of what a big girl she is etc.

Good luck and don't give in!

JustHecate · 07/01/2012 14:55

I'm afraid I did it the heartless way. I think he (eldest son. Younger son never cared about dummies) was about 3. tbh, I can't really remember. Younger son was toddling and there's 15 months between them and younger son started toddling around about 1, so it's about the 3yr mark. ish.

Anyway. we threw them away.

The first night was hell. Second night not quite so bad. Within a week he'd got over it. I think if you drag it out or go over and over and over it with them, it builds it up in their mind into a far bigger deal than it needs to be.

His had to go because he was obsessed with them (autism) and it was affecting his day to day life (tantrums, screaming, holding 10 at a time, snatching other children's dummies off them and attacking them for them, etc etc)

Original poster

Bilin · 07/01/2012 15:00

I am thinking I should leave it till she is about two may be she will cry less for it. It is unbearable to hear her cry for a long time and she ask for the dummy when she is in bed.

OP posts:

ThePhantomPlopper · 07/01/2012 15:05

Did this 2 nights ago with 3yo DD , we'd tried twice before and failed miserably, she was very attached. We binned them and bribed her with a day out, first night was awful but last night was much better, although she went to sleep later and woke up earlier.

Will watch for tips for doing it with a younger child as I'm going to attempt it with the 20mo soon.

butterfliesinmytummy · 07/01/2012 15:06

Agree with lots and lots of fore-warning. The dummy fairy came for ours and left a great toy in exchange. Both DD1 was just 3, DD2 was 3.4 when the fairy visited - old enough to understand about the fairy coming. DD1 had stopped napping when she was 2 but the absence of dummy meant that DD2 hasn't napped since - she was napping 2 hours every day.... I don't think she needed it every day but sometimes falls asleep on the sofa at 5pm - she just can't nap without a dummy.

piprabbit · 07/01/2012 15:15

We waited until my DS was about 2.5yo. He only started sleeping through at 2years and then needed moving out of his cot into a bed...I was desperate not to do anything which would mess with his/my sleep until his routine was well settled.

We had been talking about big boys not needing dummies. So one day I took him shopping and helped him choose a pair of 'night' dummies. The old, 'daytime' ones got thrown out (by him). He never looked back and only used dummies for settling at bedtime. He eventually chewed through his night dummies, I told him I couldn't find any replacements in the shop, he whinged a bit and then we moved on to being a dummy free house.

Whole process took about 6 months but was stress-free.

littletinkers · 07/01/2012 15:26

Actually it was 2 and 11 mths so nearly 3. This year evil father christmas took potties away. JOY. Again overnight no problem. They did drop all daytime naps as soon as dummies went. I think I waited so long as needed the daytime nap myself!!!! Twins... etc etc

HonkSquonkFronk · 07/01/2012 15:27

We got rid of them at 12 months with both of them. In the last month we tried to reduce any day time use, so that after a few weeks they were just having them in the car and for naps. Then we went cold turkey and took them away. For both of them (1.5yrs between them) the first night we had about 30-40 minutes of crying then they slept the night pretty much straight through, the second night they cried for about 20 minutes then slept normally and within about 5 days they were just going to bed without it and not fussing at all.

The reason I'm really glad we got rid of them fairly early is that they couldn't really speak, just cried. If I tried to take something away from my 2 year old now it would break my heart to hear her begging 'mummy, please....' It would be harder I think, so I reckon the earlier the better if you are a wuss like me and won't manage to listen to the begging and whinging!

Original poster

Bilin · 07/01/2012 15:27

It sounds like it is easier to stop using dummies when the child is about 2.5 to 3years. If I am unsuccessful again, I will await till she is within this age range.

OP posts:

Atomant · 07/01/2012 15:32

Did it when DD was 2 moved her into big bed then after a couple of weeks in big bed told her she was big girl with big girl bed & didn't need her dummy and she said OK! TBH we would've waited if she wasn't ready. She only ever had a dummy at sleep time.

edwardcullensotherwoman · 07/01/2012 15:43

We've recently done this with DS. He'll be 4 in March. The original plan was that FC would take the dummy on Xmas Eve, but we'd got down to 1 which went missing the week before Xmas, so told DS that FC's fairies came and took it early, because he was so good going to bed without it the night it went missing. First night was the worst, but even that wasn't so bad as he's old enough to understand after being told about ten times what we're saying. The fairy story the following day definitely helped (don't think he believed it was lost!)
After that he seems to have forgotten about it, only occasionally mentioning it when he's got really tired or upset.
We too gave plenty of warning - reminded him several times a day from mid-November that FC was taking his dummy.

Good luck! I'm sure she'll be fine

edwardcullensotherwoman · 07/01/2012 15:47

If you do wait until she's a bit older, I would say it might be an idea to wean her off it in the day (if she has it in the day) around now. We only started reducing daytime use earlier this year, and when DS had to start speech therapy the SLT said the main problem was overuse of the dummy in the day. I'm not saying this is the only reason he's had problems (he's hypermobile so I don't think that helps - can't use his facial muscles properly) but he definitely improved once the dummy was gone in the day, and even moreso when we got rid of the dummy altogether.

Tonksforthememories · 07/01/2012 15:50

We've just given our Ds's (2.4) dummies to FC. Thankfully he was desperate for a Buzz Lightyear, so that was the reward! He screamed the place down for about 15 mins Christmas eve, then had asked sporadically since. He's been fine otherwise.

God help FC if DS meets him though! :o

Sandalwood · 07/01/2012 15:52

There's a farm near us where you can donate your dummies for the piglets to suckle
so springtime is a good time. They even have a display of all the piglets' dummies so you can go back and see it - but you could have a farm by you you could take your dummies to.

brettgirl2 · 07/01/2012 19:58

I got rid of my daughter's at 17 months. I think it was easier as she was too young to really put up a coherent argument about it. That said, she had started chucking it anyway so I kind of seized the moment, perhaps I was just lucky.

RedBlanket · 07/01/2012 20:08

About 2.5, we waited till he was settled in his big bed first.
We didn't do anything drastic. Told him dummies were for bedtime only so he could only keep them in his bed but not take them downstairs. A few weeks later he never bothered with them. It was really easy and stress free.

His brother and his thumb OTOH...

sleeplessinderbyshire · 08/01/2012 16:40

DD bit a hole in one at christmas. She said it was yukky now. I pointed out we didn't have any more dummies with us (we were staying with GPs) "put it in the bin mummy, it all broken" and off she went to bed without it and has ben fine ever since. I was dreading it but she seems to have been fine

Original poster

Bilin · 08/01/2012 19:50

Another failed attempt. Gave in last night, she started crying for it and I could not bare it. Will try again when she is about two.

OP posts:

whenskiesaregrey · 08/01/2012 20:11

We did it in stages. When DS was about 12 months he stopped having them in the day, but was allowed them when he was having a sleep. Then they gradually turned into something that was only at night time and stayed in the bedroom. Then after he turned two, and was able to understand a bit more we explained to him that next week he was going to give all his dummies to nursery to help the babies. Then when the night came, there was a bit of a sad face, but I think he liked the thought he was helping the babies. He helped put them in his nursery bag. Also that way he knew he couldn't get them back because they were at nursery.

It definitely helped that he was old enough to understand what was going on. We were worried how he would react, because he loved his dummies, but it was the dentist saying his teeth were pulling forward that made us do it.

sleeplessinderbyshire · 08/01/2012 20:39

DD asked for a dummy tonight for the first time and I reminded her that hers was broken - "it ok mummy we buy another one"well not right now dear "no mummy when baby comes we buy a dummy, not for me for baby when baby come from mummy tummy" ahhhh. (she went straight to sleep without it though)

wheredidiputit · 08/01/2012 21:12

We asked dd1 when she was 2.3yrs as it was christmas that we would give her dummies to father christmas and she would get a special gift what would she like. She answered new dummies which I too as a sign she was not ready. Come the following Easter she was happy for them to go.

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