Mummy's red poo

[fisil]

DS1 (just turned 3) came over to flush after I'd finished on the loo a couple of weeks ago and saw that the water in the loo was all red, so he asked about it. I explained very simply that sometimes I had some red blood coming out of my bottom. He went very quiet so I went on to say that it's a good thing because it's my body saying that if I wanted to have a baby I could, but I don't want one right now because I've got two gorgeous children.

He accepted this and was quite happy. He did want to check each time I'd been to the toilet and if I was off to the toilet would ask if I was going to do a red poo. When my period ended I explained that it only happens every few weeks, not all the time. I see this as perfectly normal interest, and am not bothered by it (although I do dread the day when I excuse myself from a lunch table with guests or in the loos out shopping).

Whenever he mentions red poo I explain that it is not poo. Today he kept on asking questions and so I eventually explained to him that ladies have three holes. One for poo, just like boys and girls and men. One for wee wees instead of a penis, and one other hole which is where him and his brother came out of my tummy. And I told him it was called a vagina. And I then explained that I don't have a baby in my tummy at the moment and that's why the blood comes out instead.

I feel like I've done the right thing according to my belief in honesty and frankness and that these things are straightforward facts that if explained clearly answer his questions, full stop (although I do feel guilty about the misunderstanding about poos/bottoms). However, somewhere I have a little doubt about whether I have upset him a little, and about whether there is anything else I should/could do. Just little things like fretting about whether his penis is going to bleed, whether daddy has a baby in his tummy (lol - he looks like he does). What do you think?

Hi Fisil,

has he given you any indications that he may be a little upset? I suppose he may relate blood to pain, so you could maybe explain to him that it does not hurt you and you could possibly but some emphasis on the fact that only grown women have these bleeds so he isn't going to have any surprises when he goes to use the loo.

It's very sweet of him, showing his concern every time you went to the loo though...

Fisil, I did exactly the same when DS2 (4) asked, about a year ago why my wee was red when his was yellow. He didn't seem too bothered by it and hasn't worried since. He does sound very cute when he talks about babies growing in their mummy's "luterus", though.

Sounds as if you gave a very sensible explanation!

I think you have been a fantastic Mum. Its hard to be simple and honest about these things. I think he just needs time to process the info. I hoe when my ds ask I do it as well as you

Sounds sensible to me. It's just difficult explaining to them that this is a special kind of blood that doesn't mean you are hurt, isn't it?

FWIW my mother was always straightforward and frank with us (had me drawing diagrams of female reproductive organs long before I went to school, because I'd asked where babies came from). Which meant we didn't fall victim to any of those daft theories that fly around the playground, or get spooked by any of it. Plan to do the same myself. Although may leave out the diagrams (mainly because I can't remember how to draw them).

thank you for saying the nice things. It's good to have reassurance. No Maddison, there is no evidence that he is upset, just that he keeps mentioning it. But actually now I've written it all out on here it strikes me that it is more him trying to understand something which is frankly bizarre, rather than fretting about it.

Thanks!

I think your explanation is brilliant - I feel like printing it out ready for when I need it (ds is onlt 6 mths)!!