BITE MARKS

[CONNEELY]

I wondered if ne one could help me,my dd 11mths,hasnt got ne teeth but her friend 13month has a mouthful,he seems to bite her and just laughs..i have seen many theards but they all seem much older children,what is the best way to help them understand the word NO...
My dd has horrible bite marks in her arm and this is not the first time that it has happened usually they play nicely together...

Hmm, I would appreciate some advise on this one too.
DS, (16MO) at nursery. Three times in just over a week now, I have picked him up from nursery to be told that another child had bitten him. It?s the same child each time and apparently they are fighting over the same toy. The nursery deal with it by: removing the toy from both of them and taking the ?biter? out of the room to be told that this is not acceptable behaviour then encouraged to ?kiss and make-up?.
This other child is only a few months older than DS and doesn?t appear to understand that he is being told off about it. They have spoken to his parents about it too, but again yesterday DS came home with yet another BIG bit mark on his arm.
I really don?t know what to do about it. Whilst I understand that this is a stage that some children go through, I still believe that the nursery has a responsibility to ensure that this type of thing is kept to a minimum. I am beginning to worry about the level of supervision the children are getting as I know that DS would make a racket if he was having a toy taken off him, or couldn?t have one which he wanted. Surely this should alert the staff to a problem and they could get in before the other child had chance to bite?? I also don?t want DS to learn this type of behaviour, which he will if this continues for much longer.
I have threatened to remove DS from the nursery if it happens again, but I don?t really want to have to carry this out as he is quite settled there and does enjoy it apart from this one issue.
Has anyone else had this experience, and if so, how did you resolve it.
Thanks.

Agree- at this age the only way to avoid this is constant supervision for the biter- with intervention BEFORE he bites. He won't understand that biting is any worse than pushing therefore he needs supervising.

my dd has got bitten at school (she goes to special) and I hate it. Have to agree it usually is 1-2-1 that stops it.

ConneelyI think the best thing to do is simply supervise their time together very, very closely and try to anticipate the bite before it happens. Ideally the 'biter's' mum will do the same. My son also bit the little boy he nannyshared with - and left bitemarks a couple of times. It was triggered by frustration, curiosity, teething and even hunger. We agreed that when he bit, he'd be put briefly out of the room of just on the other side of it, very calmly, with no eyecontact, with the words 'no biting'. This was enough for my ds to get the message eventually. He's now 2 and a very gentle, unaggressive boy and doesn't bite or push or hit other children.

There seemed to be an outbreak of biting at DD's nursery from when she was ariund 14 months to 18 months. At first DD was the victim and I was in arms, a few months down the line she was the aggressor and i was mortified. TBH I don't think there's much you can do with babies except supervise constantly. DD's nursery actually rearranged groups at one point to try and separate pairs of children that seemed to be biting/being bitten. Needless to say it passed.

When DD was the agressor I felt embarrassed but also helpless as she never bit or went to bite at home or with children from outside nursery. I think the worst thing was when a child had bitten her so badly that blood was drawn and there was a huge bruise for weeks. I explained the mark at least 3 times a day when we were on holiday in Barcelona!

Biting is just one of those things IMO. My DS used to bite, but now he is 22 months and hardly ever bites. Probably because he can now express himself better in other ways. Taking him out of the situation and saying a firm "no" worked for us. Also, giving lots of attention to the "victim". I wouldn't create a big fuss. Sometimes negative attention is better than no attention.....
My DS is now bitten several times a week in his nursery and is walking around with bitemarks on his back. Perhaps because I am a mother of a sometimes-biter myself, but it doesn't really worry me. I just know that some kids bite and it takes time to make them give up the habit. Usually stops when they develop more empathy and improve communications skills.

If nothing else works, perhaps a Hannibal Lector mask?

Thanks everyone. Some useful and re assuring information: as usual.
Its parents evening tomorrow night, so might ask about the possibility of the 1-2-1 supervision strategy. Although it seems that DS and this other child are 2 of only 4 full timers in his group, and the days he?s been bitten so far have been when only the full timers have been there. Maybe they reduce the staff too much on those days?
Will find out tomorrow.
Thanks again.

p.s. CONNEELY. Sorry to hi-jack your thread.

hey thats fine,nice to get some advice although watching these 2 are a nightmare as its always the minite we look away(isnt it always lol..)Thanks for all the advice and lets hope my dd has grown out of the biting stage by the time she ever gets ne teeth...

My daughter now almost 3 went through a 6 month stage in nursery when she was about 18 months of being bitten - usually by the same child. It must've happened a dozen times - once on her face which was awful. Nursery won't say which child does it(policy) but the mother of one of the biters always used to wait and tell me how sorry she was and how she was trying to stop her son doing it. Felt so sorry for her. Worried that DD1 might pick up the habit herself, but she never did. IMO it is a phase and I was happy that the nursery had a plan to address it which eventually worked.

as crule as it sounds my sister was a biter and she dident stop till i bit her back one day (and got in a lot of truble)