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Behaviour/development

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How can I help my scared/shy DD?

3 replies

camdancer · 05/01/2012 10:53

DD1 will be 3 in March. She is massively scared of people and comes across as rude a lot of the time.

Some recent examples are a woman tried to help her get off the bus. I was pushing DD2 in the buggy and DD1 was behind. She is very capable of getting off the bus, but of course the kind lady didn't know that. Lady put her hand on DD1's back to guide her off. DD1 freaked and got cross with the lady.

Today at school another lady tried to cajole DD1 into coming through the gates. She was lagging behind a bit. I was only a couple of steps ahead and knew exactly where she was. DD1 freaked again and stopped, which made things worse as the woman wanted to help more.

Tesco today, DD1 dropped her shopping on the floor. Woman comes up to help. DD1 starts shouting "I don't want her to do that."

So there are two issues. The first is her rudeness. She's only 2 but I'm trying to teach her just to say Thank You rather than get cross and sulk or shout. But the main issue is that she is just really scared of people. I just don't know how to help her with that. I'm worried that she'll miss out on things because she doesn't want to meet new people. I'm worried that she comes across as rude and sullen when actually she is very friendly and funny. I'm worried because she seems to have a background anxiety all the time in public. Any ideas?

btw, DS is completely the opposite - he sits on the bus chatting to anyone and invites them to our house! So I know it it partly just a personality thing.

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WoollyHead · 05/01/2012 16:38

I can see how that must be frustrating and maybe even a bit embarrassing for you. Most people understand that 2-3 is a stroppy age and so wouldn't put the rudeness down to anything other than their age.

To be honest, your dd's behaviour sounds totally normal. I expect she will grow out of it naturally. And you're right, personality makes such a big difference.

mrspepperpotty · 05/01/2012 20:59

I agree - for this age sounds normal to me.

savoycabbage · 05/01/2012 21:05

I used to get my shy dd to pass over the money/card when I was paying for things. You usually get a nice positive response and it only takes a moment so you are not holding anyone up. It gets them used to interacting with all sorts of different people, but the dc doesn't have to actually say anything if they don't want to.

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