Reading to an 18 month old - how does it work?

[Listzilla]

My 18 month old loves books, and wants nothing more from life than to curl up on the couch with a pile of bookies and a captive adult to look at them with her.

Everyone else I know, though, seems to actually read the books to their kids. Our friends and in-laws can all recite Guess How Much I Love You and Peepo and the Gruffalo and all the others.

We can't do that. She thinks being read to is terribly boring, and she'll get annoyed halfway through and say 'bye bye, bookie', close it, and wander off.

What she wants is for us to point out things and ask her what they're called. So we've ended up with loads of books full of big complicated pictures, and we'll point out every little thing on every page and say 'what's this?', 'who's this?' or 'what noise does this make?' and she'll tell us (obviously if it's something new we'll tell her the first couple of times!). She gets immense joy out of knowing what to call things, both in books and in reality, and couldn't care less about the actual text of the book.

Have we done something wrong, or what? From what I've read, I thought that books were supposed to be about getting them used to the sounds and rhythm of language, and sentence structure and things, and all she's getting from them is an ever-bigger collection of single words.

Stick with it - it sounds like she's learning to love books. Before you know it those single words will start stringing into sentences.

My 18 month old is the same, happy to get me or ds to read/point to pictures etc. If you start to read to her - bored now - next book please! I am just persevering for now...patience of a saint and all that :0

DS can be like that - short attention span. He does seem to really like those books of pictures of everyday objects (but does like stories too). I'd just carry on what you are doing if she likes it.

We've started also asking him to point at the cow, moon or whatever.

Albrecht, she doesn't have a short attention span, she'll happily sit and tell you want every object on every page of every one of 10 books is! She just has to be doing it herself, she won't passively sit and be read to.

Actually, maybe that's it - it could be the toddler independence thing, she just wants to be in control of things?

Does any 18 month old give a stuff about the text on the page of a book?
Imho The Gruffalo and Peepo are way too advanced for her to follow and take any notice of.

When mine were that age we stuck to books that had pictures you could point to and say what they are.

Honestly, I think it's a bit ambitious to expect her to follow the plot of The Gruffalo at this time....those of that age that do may simply find their parent's voice soothing or something....none of mine could be bothered with it at that stage. They just wanted to point and name.

Ds1 is a voracious reader now at 10 btw. my other two who are just 4, and nearly 3 like to be read to now. The Gruffalo is a favourite....although the 4 yr old has more sticking power and comprehension than the nearly three year old, obviously.

Be patient and realistic is my advice.

Does any 18 month old give a stuff about the text on the page of a book?
I haven't a clue, she's the only one I've had so far! I'm just basing this on what I've seen and heard of other people's kids, and they all seem to at least sit passively while being read to, whether they understand or not; and on the advice that's spouted in so many books and articles, that they like to listen to their parents' voices, and it's a good way to teach them how speech sounds.

Well that's as maybe....but my three just wanted to point and name at 18 months, and knowing my friends' kids - they wanted to do the same.
They sat and listened to a book through on the very odd occasion when tired, as I recall...but more often than not it was "car...baby...dog woof woof...NEXT PAGE!" rinse and repeat.

I mean short attention span to follow a plot in a story. Ds would also sit there all day if I did what he wanted over and over - open Russian doll, close Russian doll, open it again.

He does like short stories though - Hungry Caterpillar and Owl Babies are favourites. We have Gruffalo's Child and sometimes he'll sit through that, other times not - same with some others that are more for older children. Dr Seuss also very popular and nursery rhyme books.

I wouldn't worry though, just try and enjoy what they enjoy, I think, rather than forcing them or worrying over what they don't do. My nephew is only a couple of months older than ds and they are completely different in interests, temperament, everything.

At that age we used to have a 'talking book' where ds did what your dd likes to do followed by a 'listening book' a shortish book where he knew it was time to listen. Might be worth a try

Sounds very much like 22mo DD. She loves books. She likes to point the things out and tell us what they are now.

Actually getting to read a story is impossible though, we don't seem to do it fast enough so she turns the pages over in a huff before you finish reading and then stomps off to find another book instead. One that we might be able to read quickly enough for Her Ladyship's liking (we never can, you can repeat this scenario again and again until eventually she spots her crayons or goes to chat to the guinea pigs)

At that age ds and I were looking at non fiction books, things like "that's not my..." series and tractor ted. He wasn't interested in stories.

Have you looked at the Apple Tree Farm books? They are fairly deathly stories, but there is a duck on each page to find. So she may let you carry on reading whilst she is listening and looking for the duck?

OP I think it depends on time of day. My toddlers would have been more likely to sit still and listen to a full story when feeling sleepy - as you say, it is partly to do with the soothing voice. Otherwise I agree they didn't always want to just sit and listen and preferred to take control a bit.

Have you got 'You Choose'? I think your DD would love it!

DD is 2.3 years and still isn't that interested in the story. Like yours, she likes pointing at things, guessing what they are, where they are, how many there are. It's rare that she sits down to listen to the story and even if she does, she gets impatient if it takes too long. I have no idea what the storylines are in any of her Thomas the Tank Engine books, but I know the names of all the trains. :)

I've never worried about it, she loves books and she takes a lot of enjoyment (and vocabulary) from this way of reading.

If you do want to do more reading and less pointing, perhaps get some rhyme books with just a few lines per page, so it goes fast and she can listen first, then do her usual fine combing of the pictures?

Those of you who can actually sit your 18month old down and get them to stay still are very lucky. My little boy will run around with a book but as soon as i open it up and show pictures to him and try to read to him he is off and running around again. I find i am reading it more out load to myself than to him but surely he is still learning new words. But he doesnt speak much, health visitor said not to worry thats normal but cant help worrying.

Does she like lift-the-flap books? My ds3 loves Dear Zoo, Find Spot etc.

My dd at that age did love just being read to, her favourites were One Fish Two Fish (Dr Zeuss) and Dogger. So I guess it just depends on the child.

I agree about the rhyming texts. Try some nursery rhyme books. Each Peach Pear Plum, Peepo and Hairy McLairy have short, rhyming texts with interesting pictures too.

My 18mo old DD will bring me books all day given the chance but she won't sit still until the end of any of them.
We have a lot of books with flaps or touchy bits in them so she can fiddle with that while I read the words. We also do very abridged versions of the story in longer picture books e.g. The Gruffalo will go "ooh look theres a mouse, now theres a snake ooh thats mean he wants to eat the mouse and now theres an owl etc.

dd1 - she passed me a selection of fairly lengthy books - The Gruffalo, Snail and the Whale, Charlie Cook, and I read, and read, and read, while she stayed seated and enraptured, sometimes reciting the words.

dd2 - I get a book. she wrestles it from me, holds it upside down, flicks through a couple of pages at random, jabs her finger at a couple of pictures for me to name, and then throws it over her shoulder and fetches another. She screams if I intervene in this process at any point. the only books that she ever tolerates are the "that's not my..." touchy-feely books, and even then only occasionally.

so my from my huuge sample of 2 whole children I conclude that some like sitting for stories, and some would rather be haring around the house .

I'd agree with rhyming books (although I'd class Peepo and the Gruffalo in this too). DD is 22 months old and at 18 months she loved us missing out the final word in each rhyming "pair" (is it a couplet?) and putting it in.
At 22 months she can recite chunks of the text and 'reads' it to her toys. She is particularly taken with Hairy Maclary and loves Scarface Claw. At odd times during the day she will suddenly come out with "out of the shadows they saw Scarface Claw, the toughest tom in town." She has always enjoyed sitting and listening to books though. My niece is just one and only likes pointing at the pictures. As long as they enjoy looking at books that's the main thing.

Charlotte - my DD1 was exactly like your DD1 and my DD2 is exactly like your DD2!

Truth be told, OP, I don't really bother reading to 18mo DD2 anymore because she loses interest so quickly. She's around when I read to DD1 so I guess I hope she's picking something up there, but children are all different and it really doesn't matter.

Learning to love books has got to be about interactivity and participation so what you're doing sounds spot on to me. But listening to language sounds is also important. However, assuming you talk to her during the day, its not a big deal if she's not listening to stories so much. Books like the Gruffalo are rather long for very young children. At that age my DS, who is now a serious bookworm, absolutely loved the Alison Jay books which, as you describe, have very complicated pictures and things to point out and find. Her Zoo book doesn't have a single word in it and yet my DS learned the names of probably 30-40 different animals and birds from 'reading' it constantly. Story books that went down well, where I could read but we could also look at the pictures together were things like the shorter more vibrant Julia Donaldson's (e.g Chocolate Mousse for Greedy Goose and Hippo Has a Hat) and the old classic Each Peach Pear Plum. These all have excellent rhyme which is a concept that helps with pre-reading and language skills but also loads of detail to look at.

But interactivity is key. Kids who are really just passively listening to books at this age, in my opinion, are less likely to have a sustained interest. Its got to be fun!

There are lots of books that just have pictures to point at like this sort of thing or these. Also agree books like the Spot series with very little text on each page and flaps to lift etc. My DD is 22mo and is just starting to enjoy actual stories (Gruffalo etc). As someone else mentioned upthread, she's also more patient at bedtime than during the day.

I think this is normal. I used to try and read the exact text to mine, and DH did the pointing-out-and-discussing thing which worked MUCH better. At some point (somewhere between 2 and 3 I think) they just naturally segue into liking the actual story. You are doing exactly the right thing. :)