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5 year old tantrums/sadness/ not coping

4 replies

paintsroses · 04/01/2012 09:28

Hi all, I specifically joined this site to see if I can get some suggestions for my 5 year old. He turned 5 last month and started reception in September. He?s always been a bit of a hothead and always had tantrums. Trouble is, he?s not coping with school very well (we had similar troubles with pre-school at the end of term when tired). A few weeks holiday brings peace back in his little mind but going to school causes him to have angry outbursts/tantrums, triggered by nothing. He?ll throw (anything including furniture) and if you try and come near he?ll hit and punch). It is like a night terror (which he has too once in while). Only once he?s calmed down, he gets sad as he realises the mess he made and the exhaustion he caused (he himselfs gets muscle pains afterwards from the force of screaming and throwing). He sometimes wakes up cross or sad then goes to school and after school it starts again. At school he is his usual angelic self. It seems he?s not coping emotionally, although he?s super bright and doing very well with reading and numbers. But we can hardly keep him home! We?ve tried star charts (helps a bit in holidays), confiscating toys, talking, talking, leaving him to calm down by himself in his bedroom but nothing seems to work. It is very upsetting for the whole family (he has an older brother) and himself. Would love suggestions before I end up going to the gp to ask for a therapist....
Thanks, from an exhausted mum.

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Rebekmah · 04/01/2012 16:06

Hello, got a 7 year old and his friend went through the same when he left nursery/started reception. Its a big change in their world. Have you spoken to the school? Is there anything that seems to be worrying him? Can he articulate whats making him cross? Sorry, you've probably already been down these roads, but wanted to offer support x

paintsroses · 04/01/2012 17:56

Hi, thanks so much Rebekmah. Yes I?ve spoken to school and they were so surprised as he?s lovely there. Agreed to take him out one afternoon a week and I?ll go and help out one afternoon. I think I?ve decided to go to the gp as well, perhaps a play therapist or something might help. Just this afternoon the furniture in his bedroom went upside down....sigh....
Thanks for the support.

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Petesmum · 04/01/2012 18:15

As he's super bright could he be bored at school and taking his frustration out at home? My DS and a friends daughter were both disappointed when they started school as they'd both thought "that we'd learn new things at school" but they ended up going back over things they'd learnt at pre school.
Are there any other changes at home that could be unsettling him?
Good luck x

paintsroses · 05/01/2012 17:17

No, nothing changed at home. He might be bored at school as he also thought he?d learn the world in day, but then again he really likes all the play at school and behaves brilliantly. As soon as we go home, however, he explodes sooner or later. When asked what makes him so sad or cross he said he doesn?t know. He seems as confused as me. It just comes up, takes over and then goes away again, leaving a trail of destruction. It usually only happens on school days, after school, so it must have something to do with that, except nothing actually happens there. He is very insecure so I suspect he?s stressing out, anxious, secretly and walking around with (let?s say) curled toes and only exhales when he goes home. But I have no idea how to fix it! Today on the way home (a 3 minute walk) he sat on the pavement screaming his head off, hitting me. I had to carry him home, trying not to get hit, as he wouldn?t move.

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