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Behaviour/development

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4.5 yr old meltdowns and whining driving me potty

5 replies

theseventhdwarf · 03/01/2012 08:35

ds is 4.5 and is a lovely kid, (also have a gorgeous dd age 2) he s probably a bit sensitive and a worrier but he s such high maintenance he s driving me daft
IF things go wrong he has a complete meltdown ... eg trying to put on his shoes or dress himself .. which he does successfully most of the time , if he cant get his foot in properly - he ll immediately throw shoe on the floor and lie down shouting ' oh no i cant do it waaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh'
and so it continues .....lunch is not what he wanted ...' waaaaahhhhhh i wanted the blue plate' or in a game if it s going wrong .. cue meltdown.... or his favourite jersey is not clean etc
I ve tried staying calm/passive/ not over reacting/ but i think it s getting worse
I ve read and regularly use 'how to talk....' techniques ... but either I m not conisitent enough.... which could well be true though id do try but admit that when I m tired or stressed i m no way as patient as I d like ... but I d say I m about 70 % consistent with the techniques ... Something is not working or changing I m seriously wondering if there s something else we re doing wrong He is PFB and probably 'helicoptered' a bit my us though I notice when DH is around DH is probably less content to leave him to it and tends to overly shadow him ( e.g as in a running commentry on what ds shouldnt do when we visited dh s mam who is a bit particular about what to kids do/touch when in her house)
Sorry if I m rambling
I guess I m wondering if it s 'normal'
DS is also a worrier....... e.g worried about car being clamped when we park (we had told hima story where someone got clamped ) worried about me leaving the room with the cooker / lights/ fire on (thanks fireman sam)
As a baby he was easliy hyperalert and a light sleeper though he s much much better now, but he really does get upset/ over excited/ over react about trivial things
It s of course worse when he s tired/ after a day in creche/ hungry so i try ensure regular bed times and regular meals and less treats etc.
Does anyone else have any tried tested techniques, has anyone come through this I m finding it very trying and difficult to stay patient (when i really want to scream )
thanks in advance

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
ohbugrit · 03/01/2012 08:41

Sympathy/solidarity/marking place all at once!

theseventhdwarf · 03/01/2012 22:32

Bump for the evening crowd ( in hope...) Wink

OP posts:
lollystix · 03/01/2012 23:41

Are you talking about my PFB?Grin maddening isn't it? I've just bought 'how to talk' too. Mine is worse when his brothers about. I think alot of it is attention seeking and he knows it presses my buttons. I have no answers yet. I'm just hoping that when he's 15 he'll be less stressed about making mistakes (and not having blue plates-yes we have that issue tooWink)

theseventhdwarf · 04/01/2012 21:38

well it s good to hear that there are others in similar boat Smile
Deep breaths and patient smiles all around

OP posts:
bessie26 · 06/01/2012 01:10

DD1(3.2) has started doing this since moving up from nursery to pre-school & I think it's the lack of nap on those 2 days that is causing her the problem. I was hoping she would get better when she got a little older & didn't need to nap. Wish I hadn't read this post now!!

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