Concerns about 5 week old

[diddygirl]

Hi

I can't believe I'm posting this, I know I'm prob being OTT but my husband and I have a few niggles about our DD. We've had them since birth really but have just had an in-depth chat about them and now I'm beating myself up.

Baby is now five and half weeks and often spends around 20 hours asleep. She very rarely cries and even then it's only a few little shrieks - we have never heard her belt out a proper cry. There is little recognition of parent faces and she is yet to smile at us - we feel we get very little response from her.

Feeding etc is fine (EBF), or at least I think it is - since birth she only wakes for a feed once between 1.00am and 9.00am (tho this can be as late as 10am when I have to wake her up). She is gaining weight well.

She's been checked by the doctors who seem to think she's ok (slight concern at the lack of a smile and said she needs to do this by 8 weeks old) but we have a nagging concern about autism.

Anyone out there have a similar experience? Should we be concerned at the lack of response? Is she still too young for us to be getting worked up like this?

Hope someone can help.

She's five and a half weeks old - relax!

Don't really remember about the sleep, but remember very very clearly that my DS recognised me and smiled for the first time at 8 weeks old, in the middle of the night. It was brilliant and I'll never forget it. Try not to worry, it's very early days

Sorry pressed send too soon!

Sounds normal to me. my twins would have slept for ages if I hadn't woken them to feed. At 20 weeks I still have to wake them for some feeds and they didn't smile properly until about 10 weeks.

This all sounds normal to me for a 5 week baby. My DS1 had more of a whimper than a proper cry, and all mine slept loads in the first 6 weeks and then "woke up". I don't think any of them smiled before 6 weeks either.

It is early days - and far too early to worry about autism. However if you've got worries you should have her checked - which you've obviously done. Will she look in to your face or does she not focus on your face at all? Feeding is a good sign you know - babies who are struggling developmentally often struggle with feeding so the fact that she's doing well with that is an excellent sign. The crying - well some people are more laid back than others and I bet you're a lovely mum who is keeping her close and secure so why would she need to yell? She knows you're there!

Some babies are quiet, some are noisy. I had one noisy bugger one quiet one. Neither of them smiled til around 7 or 8 weeks.

It is very hard to know what is right and what isn't. For now, trust the doctors and keep going. If you are still worried in a couple more weeks, have a good long chat with your midwife or HV about your concerns.

My DD didn't smile till she was 10 weeks old and rarely cried or cried really softly for the first 3 months and then found her lungs and started doing really loud proper crying. Can't really remember when I first felt like she recognised me but am sure it was much much later than 5 weeks.

I'd be surprised if any doctor was remotely concerned at a baby not smiling at 5 1/2 weeks.

There is nothing in your post that sounds unusual.

Relax!

My dd was like that. I was very worried after ds who was awake for 20 hours out of 24. She is now five months and smiles, laughs, rolls around, tries to sit up etc. don't worry.

My daughter is coming up to 12 weeks and still sometimes sleeps 19 hours a day! Doctors aren't worried at all.

I've just been speaking with a family member today who's daughter smiled late and never cried as a baby. They were worried at the time, but she's a perfectly normal 4 year old now who cries and smiles all the time.

Thank you all for your reassurance. Northernlurker - she does look at me in the face sometimes but then she also seems to look above my head quite a lot too. I have always worried about her eyes as she was all puffed up and swollen when she was born, her eyes were like those of a boxer and she couldn't open them for about 4 days.

I know it's very early days and she is still very young but I just got worried when my husband said exactly what I too was thinking. I will try to put it out of my head and not go with my instinct - I am a terrible worrier!!!!

Thank you all again x

Its normal for young babies to look at the hairline rather than at your eyes. It because they cant see detail very well.

Oh really? Thanks for that. Feel much better now x

I think you need to relax a little. Babies can not focus that well at that age and smiling, she is still within normal limits.

Both my girls have autism, and both were very different as babies.

My lb use to sleep 22 hours a day until about 10 weeks old. Calm down

My mum described me as like that as a baby. Very sleepy and relaxed and comfortable. Dd was the opposite of what you describe and seemed to be almost hyper aware of her surroundings and people, always awake rarely slept.

Just personality I think.