4 year old just wont go to sleep

[jbl2312]

as above, she goes to be at 7.30 but is still awake and playing till gone 11pm, she is up and down the stairs for various things including at least 8 wees (bathroom is downstairs) we have tried being harsh as in taking toys away not letting her have treats till she can prove she can go to sleep when put to bed, we have tried the nice approach as in if you go straight to sleep tommow you can have blah blah blah....but nothing works, if left to wake in the morning on her own she wont wake till 10.30, we get her up at 7.30 but at night she sill awake at gone 11pm, next week she is starting reception so will be up at 7am....me and my husband get no time to ourselves she is up and down all night long, just last night it took almost an hour to watch 18 minuets of a film we wanted to watch, i hate it but we both end up screaming at her to go to sleep, is it just us or does anyone else have this problem and how do you handle it without going insane

I'm no expert but sounds as though you might need a change of approach. She must be shattered, and your evenings are really being disrupted. If she's starting school next week you really need to get on top of this or she'll be absolutely exhausted, poor thing.

Perhaps it's time to have a 'sit down' / serious chat with her about it, telling her that you need her help with something that's worrying you. Tell her that she's going to be starting school and will need to be as rested and alert as possible to make the most of all the fun she's going to be having, and explain the implications of not getting enough sleep.

I'd try to do it by rewards rather than by threats. When you have your chat with her, try to get her to agree that she must ONLY get out of bed if it's an emergency (an emergency in our house includes urgently needing to go to the toilet plus the usual about to be sick, fire, etc). If she stays in bed all night (or only gets up e.g. once) she'll get a reward in the morning (get her to help choose the reward). Make it something tangible for the first night (not just a sticker on a chart, but something that's worth changing her habits for e.g. a new book). Do the same for the next night (but you'll probably have to scale down the rewards to avoid bankruptcy!). After a few nights you can make it a sticker on a chart with a reward at the end of the week.

Your DD is 4 and about to start school, so she's old enough to understand the implications of not sleeping if you explain clearly.

I'd also make sure that you have a really good, strong, reliable and relaxing bed-time routine in place, and that you start to get her up at getting-ready-for-school time from now to give you a bit of a run-in.

Good luck - sleep is so important it's good that you're trying to get it sorted.