I am married for a second time with a ds from 1st marriage and 2dd from current. Ds has always gone to his dads since we split when he was 8 mnths old. Has spent every other weekend with him. When he comes back home he is always really hard work.
He is now 7 and has just had 5 days with his dad and his dp and dd. He has come back and was great for first hour then wants to play with his two sisters but the game is all his rules. He is shouting and getting all cross and upset because they dont want to do EXACTLY what he says. Which i feel is fair enough given he has all the good equip and he has given them the crap stuff.
Have told him he needs to explain fair rules to them and make them want to play as at the moment they don't. He has had a bit of huffy time in his room and now come out reasonably cheery.
Despite this always having been a problem since he was very young i find it hard to know how to deal with it.
Im pleased to see him, i know he feels pleased and a bit relieved(i think) to be home. His dad is probably stricter then i am and i know ds feels less at home with him prob because we split when he was so young. He wont for example poo in his house and after a weekend away comes back desperate to fill the loo. I have tried many times to address this as i worry about health implications of this.
Does anyone else see similar patterns if they have a child in a similar situation.
I find it hard to know just how to react as i dont want him to come back and immediately be getting told off but at the same time he needs to know he cant behave how he likes on his return and i hope knowing the boundaries are always the same with me will make him feel secure rather than rejected which is what i worry about. It is almost like he comes back and wants to let of steam but i know he does good fun stuff with his dad its not like he is just left waching tv or anything.
Sorry so long. Glass of wine if you got to the end!!