Point blank refuses to even try the potty.

[Grandhighpoohba]

DS is 3 and a half, knows when he needs a pee or a poo, but refuses to even consider sitting on a potty or the toilet. We have gone cold turkey and put him in pants, but cannot get him on a potty. Am keeping it lighthearted, have tried bribery, but he is the stubbornest child known to humanity, and just says, " No, I can't use a potty"

I would put him in pants and if he wees he has to change himself (take wet ones off, and put clean trousers and pants on), also get him with a bowl of mild soapy water to 'help' you clean the mess, that way he is taking responsbility for not going to the toilet. That is what I did with dd now 4.10 and it seemed to work. I would then go over it with stronger stuff. Keep it very matter of fact, and do not get stressed about it, kids pick up on negative emotions. I used to say, oh dear wee in the toilet next time, and when she did take herself to the toilet and use it, I gave her a chocolate button as a reward.

Keep some change of clothes nearby so that you can easily get to them, put them near him and get him to change himself (whilst you supervise)

My DD was similar - she knew when she needed the toilet but refused a potty. I tried cold turkey but just ended up with a very upset child, so I left it 6 months - kept the potty on the radar and asked her occasionally if she wanted to use it - but no. We had a breakthrough one evening as I was running her bath - she was naked (no nappy on) but suddenly needed a wee and was pleading with me to put one on, I knew why, so gently said - in a minute, just let me finish running the bath, she was hopping about by now and just couldn't hold it any longer and started to leak, so I pushed the potty to her and suggested she use it - she did - and was so pleased with herself that she was more or less clean from that day. She was about 3.5 at the time too.

Can't add anything of use op but just lurking as I have a ds just coming up 3 who is exactly the same. I am not worried yet but guessing in 6 months or so I might be a bit more bothered. Annoying thing is that my dd was so easy and practically trained herself at 25 months!

I think I may just have to leave it for now - He would refuse to clean it up, or himself. As much as he likes chocolate buttons, he will decide to do without if it involves doing something he doesn't want. Its a battle of wills, and I think the thing to is what Beamur did, leave it alone and let him find it in his own time.

If he is this stubborn now, I dread the teenage years...

Thanks all for answering!

Get one of them ping pong ball things and put it in toilet and get him to aim for it makes it a bit more fun for him that way! You used to get them in Tesco

I also did a BIG bribe....in the months leading up to the final breakthrough (using the potty for a poo is a whole different story and took more months again) I dangled the prospect of a scooter once she started using the potty. Whilst it wasn't enough to actually make her use the potty - it helped reinforce why it was a good thing when it finally happened. One advantage, I think, with later potty training skills is fewer accidents - I can probably count on one hand the number of accidents DD has had.