13 month old pushing me to the edge - wwyd/any tips please

[westonsorganic]

Hi - my DS is 13 months, he's a spirited baby, physical and a keen explorer and a very happy chap. In the last 3 weeks he has started to make a beeline for certain things in the house and no amount of discouraging him from these things works.....
We have babyproofed the house really well but some things we can't move, e.g oven and it also worries me that he ignores "ahah, leave this".
for example I have intercepted him hanging off the oven knobs about 40 times in the last 2 days but he just continues.
I have started off with "ah ah - hot" straight face/ouch and when he just carried on I physically picked him up and put him down a short distance away repeating what I said. I've offered an alterative such as favoured toy, read a book, give him my hand and say "see what mummy's got" which he takes for 10 seconds and then tries to scoot back to the oven at the very first opportunity.
I have got louder with the "no/leave it" and found myself shouting NOOOOO today....so embarrased that I just found myself getting into "losing it" territory.
This resulted in him bursting into tears, but still going back to the oven.
Has anyone else experienced this and does anyone have a technique, age appropriate, I can try?

We have exactly the same with our 13 month old ds! I seem to spend most of the day distracting from the things he shouldn't have as he would rather explore the kitchen cupboards than play with any toys!! Not sure I have any words of wisdom...we just keep saying no to the dangerous items such as the oven whilst removing him at the same time. It seems to be working in the long term as he no longer wants the tv! It has to be said that sometimes its just easier to close the door to the kitchen and he can then explore the living room, hallway etc without worry and stress for me.....

Thanks Mcyorkshire....I seem to be surrounded by people who's babies dont do this and so I feel a bit of an alien!.
Yes, today I just moved to another room but the saying "no" and moving him has absolutely no affect whatsoever....perhaps its a case of sitting it out. Good luck with your distraction techniques...

Tricky one but he is very young so is unlikely to pay much attention to you I'm afraid. I have had three girls and have found that often ignoring their behaviour and touching things they shouldn't does work eventually. Such as light switches - mine have always loved switching lights on and off but ignoring this does work as they just get bored. I understand that the oven is a bit different particularly if it is on. Could you put a baby gate across the kitchen door to stop him going in the kitchen? He is probably obsessed with the oven because he realises it is getting a big reaction from you. Try just ignoring him touching it when it is off and hopefully he will get bored of it and will eventually stop touching it.
Not much help am I and a bit of a ramble - sorry!

I would use baby gates over the doors until he is old enough to understand you. Safer for him and much better for your sanity!

It's hard. At 13mo our dts would climb on the TV stand, push fingers into the TV (when off) etc. Just kept saying no, removing and distracting (by which time the other dt would be at it). They are 15mo today, and reading your post I realise I haven't had to pull them away for a few days. So it does eventually sink in. Just keep being consistent, and accept that they learn slowly at this age, and have little or no impulse control.

Oh yes, baby gate the kitchen. I assumed you were in an open plan space from your OP. But if the kitchen is separate, gate it off!

sambageeni - this did cross my mind today, ignoring him. I think I will do this with the oven (when its off) and hope the novelty wears off.
Sirzy - I think a 3rd baby gate is about to be ordered tonight....I guess it just removed the issue.
Out of interest, you both mention about him being very young - I have wondered if making him understand "leave it" is just beyond him at the moment

Thanks Mama Cbocoholic - we have a big openplan space (kitchen/diner/playroom) but I can separate it from the living room/hallway. Glad my post made you realise you've had a few days respite!

Ds was about 18 months before he started to properly understand leave it, he is just 2 and now fully understands it (but of course still tries things!)

You constantly moving him away also makes it seem like a game to him Unfortunatly

thanks Sirzy....a new day tomorrow and a different approach methinks
yes - the moving him is likely to be a game to him and the only way to make him realise its not is to be louder and meaner than I can bear!

Sounds like you're doing the right stuff - making your house generally safe, and being vigilant whilst your child tries to top himself on the things that you can't change; saying 'no'; distraction techniques.

All I can say - with 2 risk-loving DCs who have survived toddlerhood - is keep your eye on him, remain patient, be prepared to say no firmly (but not scarily) about 12,000 times before he gets the message, and don't beat yourself up if you occasionally 'lose it'. All parents do from time to time. As long as you're not angry with him for being a normal, healthy, curious 13 month old, that's cool.

Within a few weeks, he'll have forgotten about the oven and try to fry himself with toe-nail scissors and electrical cable, or find a nice pond, etc. I'd just get a travel cot set up somewhere downstairs to park him when I needed to go to the loo or answer the door - and watch him like a hawk the rest of the time.

Just read this out to DH, laughing sympathetically - DS is 11m and is doing the same, especially hanging off the oven knobs! We spend every minute of every day taking him away from climbing into the dishwasher , climbing up the stairs, eating the cat food, turning on the stereo, playing with the sewing machine, opening the crockery cupboard, playing with the washing machine, playing with the loo brush ... (the list goes on! :()

I like lagrand's post . So helpful :)

Thank goodness for that, at least we know our 16 month old DS is completely normal!! You have all described him to a tee!

I am now feeling suitably reassured - thanks everyone and agreed, Lagrandissima's post is v.helpful....thinking the oven can stay stone cold tomorrow and the slow cooker can come out....reach that if you can baby beastie!

Your DS sounds like a active, curious little boy - try to see this as a positive thing (although I do understand it can be wearisome for you) and don't label him as a naughty boy. My DS1 was just like this at that age (I remember him climbing up the outside of a play tent, while all the other children in my NCT group played nicely inside it!) and he is now a very sensible 6yo!

DS has been like this since he was 8 months old (our Christmas tree lasted 3 days last year) - now he's 21 months old and our Christmas tree is still very much intact so obviously an improvement

Have no advice I'm afraid because you have tried everything we did/still do.

Although one trick that worked for a while was to put a few of his toys near to the DVD player/washing machine/cooker/cupboards etc and he stayed well away

We didn't bother with a Christmas tree, our 13mo DS would no doubt have been climbing up it and/or tearing it apart.

In the same boat as you OP, isn't it tedious but I suppose it's a phase they'll grow out of please god really soon

keep doing exactly what you're doing, and make sure you have plenty of gin after he's gone to bed.
dd2 is 14mo and just as you describe. I seem to remember her sister grew out of the whole "seek and destroy" phase by about 18-20mo or so....hang in there

All totally normal, and to be welcomed really. I almost kissed a woman who said to me, "You know that children who are nosy and inquisitive about things are showing signs of intelligence".

:o

At that age, they really do not understand so you just have to keep moving them away and distracting, and if need be putting them out of harms way.

If necessary, use a playpen - I know a lot of people frown upon them but for some they are necessary and my DC were both absolutely fine in them. If you are using it for a little while so that you can get something done then they are totally fine.

Some of your posts have reminded me of what DS1 used to get up to, especially getting in the dishwasher

I must admit, I am quite severe with my 'no' to the oven, including when it is not on as I think inconsistency would be confusing. My DD2 is 12 months and she does know she shouldn't go near the oven as she looks for me before she toddlers over there to get the reaction. She stops short of it now.

I was thinking that I don't have many problems with DD2 but actually having 3 kids has made me change my behaviour and house so that they don't have opportunities. We bought a tall pedal bin to preven bin lucky dips, toilet brushes are on window sills (I know, looks horrible), bottom kitchen cupboards have things in that aren't dangerous like cookbooks, potatoes, saucepans, plastic crockery, for a while toilet rolls were on top of the bathroom cabinet, no ornaments at all within reach, felt tip pens in boxes with hard to remove lids, CDs moved into wallets, DVDs into drawers, coasters put away rather than out, wine into an on the counter rack, don't bother getting radio times anymore (that just got ripped up for a while!) even baby wipes at the top of the wardrobe after an incident involving several packs. This thread made me realise I rarely leave the dishwasher open, I shut it inbetween trips when emptying it if there is a lurker. Also keep washing machine door shut, which does lead to mankiness inside. More seriously never leave windows open in an unattended room.

Go round your house and do what needs to be done to destress it for you, it will be like this to some extent for the next year. I know a number if people with a gate on the kitchen door, I think it's a good idea. Good luck!

Thought of another one....we have taken the plugs away in the bathroom, might be one for when they are a bit older as I was worried DD2 would run herself a bath as she loves them so much!

My 14 mo is the same started to getbthe nickname of the Destroyer or Tazzy - like the tasmanian devil.... he is terrible sweet and smiley with his hell raising though!!!
He's obsessed with me and copying me he wants to be up on my level all the time making cooking and cleaning etc impossible. However before Xmas I found this fun pod - link below and he loves it I can stand him up at the sink ( washing up being his fav thing) and hell play happily and safely for ages and ages I'm able to keep my eye on him and other than wet sleeves and floor- a couple of dirty tea towels thrown down seems to sort that out though... He's happy as anything. The fun pod is like a stool ( changeable height ) with a wall around it - I don't work for the company but I should as it's been brilliant for containing him!!
Good luck x

www.amazon.co.uk/Little-Helper-Toddler-Kitchen-Buttermilk/dp/B002MZZ86M/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1325544750&sr=8-2

My 12 month old DD is exactly the same! At 8 months old she actually put her foot on the crossbar and climbed out her baby walker! She started walking early and is into everything she is always turning the tv and computer off, trying to climb onto the sofa, table, bed anything she sees and is always putting things on top of each other to help her climb higher! She has all the toys a baby could want but yet would rather try and climb over stairgate or open washing machine door and in the car she is constantly trying to get out of her car seat! All my friends children her age are nothing like this! think shes going to be a climber when she grows up!!!

Sorry but the only advice i have is that it will get better so i'm afraid you just have to wait it out a bit and continuing repeating what you're doing.... time and time again! My DS is 14 months and hasn't been as interested in wreaking havoc for the past couple of weeks - he seems to have now got to the stage where he's been there, done it, and it really isn't as exciting as it first was. That said, anything 'new' to him still provides endless entertainment. His CM told me that of the 3 babies she cares for, he's the least responsive to the word no

I remind myself that the more curious/ inquisitive they are, the more interesting life is. I think it's a sign of intelligence.