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Behaviour/development

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Is this amount of crying normal for a two-year old?

5 replies

naturelover · 01/01/2012 16:34

DS 2.4 seems to spend a large proportion of each day crying. I appreciate that he's a toddler and that everything is very frustrating, and I really try to anticipate and avoid/prevent conflict, I always give lots of warning when something is going to happen (bathtime, mealtimes, brushing teeth, putting on coats etc). But 9 times out of 10 he cries anyway.

It feels like he would spend all day long sitting on my lap if I let him, it seems to be what he is always crying for. Back story: I'm a SAHM and he gets lots of attention and time! Shared with his sister of course, although it feels like he gets more of my time. He seems so demanding. I'm finding it stressful, when he cries it can go on for ages and nothing will console him. He doesn't have tantrums as such, or are these crying fits a type of tantrum?

The least thing will set him off, and I know this is classic toddler behaviour. An example:
me: would you like some apple?
DS: cries
me: here's some apple
DS: cries, and throws the apple on the floor
grabs the apple, cries a lot, eventually eats the apple

I'm tearing my hair out.

But I'm also worried that there is something physically wrong with him. Should I see a doctor?

DH's attitude is pretty hard line, he sends him out of the room for excessive crying and tells him to calm down then return. It actually works a lot of the time, to calm him down, but it can happen 20 times a day.

I would say he has always been a big cryer (DS, not DH!), he was a miserable baby who turned out to have food allergies/eczema (now diagnosed, and we avoid those allergens). Other than that, a pretty strong healthy boy.

The crying has been worst since he turned two. Anyone else experienced crying like this and what did you do? Or will it pass by itself?

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
canistartagainplease · 01/01/2012 17:16

living with a toddler can be hell,they seem to react to the most unusual things andyou can seem to spend all your time second guessing their behaviour. You have my sympathies (ive blanked out so much of my teenagers early life that i cant advise over what worked or didnt- hopefully more in touch mums can help).
One thing I guess is he isnt crying over nothing its just he cant express himself and seems to be getting into a bit of a behavioural loop.
One little sugestion may be- when you want him to try a bit of apple, cut it into slices, sit next to him, you take a slice ,offer it to him ,if he takes a slice(or not),but no talking but lots of calm smiling. The idea is to reduce his choices, but make it fun and settled.

sambageeni · 01/01/2012 19:16

I'm glad im not the only one! I have a four year old daughter (middle child) and she cries a lot. Everything is a battle and I have to be careful what I say and how i approach things to avoid a battle or a meltdown. I don't know what to do and she starts school in september. However, I spoke to pre-school and apparently she is an angel there so I feel completely on my own! I don't have any advice im afriad but I thought i would let you know that you are not alone!

naturelover · 02/01/2012 10:09

Thanks!
Anyone else got any tips?
I have resolved to be as patient as possible and try to explain more/give more warning, and pick my battles.

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Swimminglikeaduck · 02/01/2012 20:36

To be honest id probably give calpol for a couple f days to see if theres a difference. I have a 2.2 year old, but she only croes at obvious frustrating events of when shes tired...unless shes ill.

Nevercan · 02/01/2012 20:54

Is DS still having a nap during the day? My DD is much worse when she is tired and then everything becomes a drama.

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