is this obsessive or typical behaviour in a 5y/o?

[bunny3]

Ds goes on and on and on - this week maily about theme park rides, before that it was the Polar Express. He can talk almost non-stop from the time he comes home from school, despite me encouraging him to talk about something else for a change. I worry that he is boring (he bores me) and wonder if it is anything to do with autism (he is going through a long and slow diagonosis) or if all 5 year olds talk obsessively.

Is ds assessment for autism?

dd tlks obsessively. If I tell her to shut up she just says but I like talking! At the moment she is going on abotu the £1 the tooth fairy left. Will not stop worryign about it. Often, it is food. My ds is supposed to be undergoing assesment, and I worry mroe about him when he doesn't talk, and his obssessions tend to be more behavior related than speech.

dd tlks obsessively. If I tell her to shut up she just says but I like talking! At the moment she is going on abotu the £1 the tooth fairy left. Will not stop worryign about it. Often, it is food. My ds is supposed to be undergoing assesment, and I worry mroe about him when he doesn't talk, and his obssessions tend to be more behavior related than speech.

I don't know about the autie thing but my nearly four year old is like this. It's awful because he's not being naughty. Actually, he';s being lovely, but it drives me round the bend because it's absolutely non-stop and revolves around the same subject over and over again.

I remember being told, as a child, to stop talking so much. I remember the sense of humiliation and embarrassment because my mum used to say things like, 'God! You NEVER stop talking. Can't you rest your mouth just for a minute'.

I think kids need to learn that you can't listen to them all the time (for their own social skills) but they need to be let down more gently.

My 4.5 year old talks obsessivley about Charlie and The Chocoalte Factory, once he gets started, for hours and hours, and is capable of spending an entire day in role as Johnny Depp playing WW, with ocasional outbreaks of being an oompa loompa for the dancing.
But in your DS's case, it probably does have a connection to other issues. Have you mentioned it to whoever is doing the investigations?

anm, his diagnosis willprob be aspergers

glad he isnt the only one, I worry he is going to be a boring adult who corners people at parties. I do try and encourage him to change the subjest but he replies "I like talking about ...." he doesnt seem to understand that conversation needs to be 2-way.

Mine never shuts up. She tells me about a conversation she and a friend had, she tells me about what they had for dinner and who had what and which child doesn't like this or that and how much of it she ate and so on and so on. Sometimes I'll tune back in again to find that the story has changed into one of fantasy, for example she told us that there was a little girl in a lower class than her who was English, how she has spoken to this little girl, what they were playing, which class she is in, then she says the little girl's name is Jan and that her grandmother brings her to school, when I interrupt to say that perhaps it would be nice if we met her parents, she looked at me very seriously and said "Her mummy and daddy have died".

I have since found out that there is no little English girl at her school!

I guess the test is really whether & to what extent you can divert him, & to what extent he'll join in if you talk about something else. Mine (he's 6) goes on & on about his imaginary country ("Dreamland") but is very deflectable, perfectly happy to talk about something I want to say, and teasable - if I say oh is it Dreamland again he'll chuckle.

i have spoken about his obsessions. Both the paed and the Ed Psych seem to think a diagnosis WONT be made and he is most likely NOT Aspergers.
Spidermama, I really dont want to crush him by telling him he is boring so I gently try to steer him onto another subject but it just doesnt work.

Its most likely to do with that then although I have met NT 5 year olds who also talk incessantly.

I shall try and divert to another subject when he comes home from school today - cant bear another narrative about legoland (we ahvent even been!). Bink, how indicative is it if he can be diverted or not?

bunny3

I have just read a great book called Challenging Behaviour and Autism. It talks about ways to help limit obsessive behaviour/ interests and rituals. Its published by the National Autistic Society and IMO its well worth a read.

this whole diagnosis thing is so frustratingly slow. I wonder if I look for signs of aspergers that are most probably present in all children of his age.

ANM, cheers for that - is it relevant if ds doesnt have aspergers ie relevant for NT children who jsut happen to obsess?

I always worry about that with my ds also 5. HIs paed has said that from what i have told him he thinks ds has AS but he won't get a diagnosis until he's 7. If he has AS it is certainly mild but regardless of whether or not he ever actually gets a dx I am 100% positive that he is on the spectrum somewhere. The more books I read the more sure I become.

ANM, why will they wait till 7? I assumed ds would get a diagnosis soon - if one at all. Some days I think he is totally NT but other days I am sure he is somewhere on the autistic spectrum.

The book is really good as it covers the whole spectrum and you could certainly use some of the techniques successfully with NT children. DS paed said to us that as he exhibited so many of the behaviours associated with AS that we should treat him as though he has it as he would respond to that sort of support.

Well I guess "divertability" is relevant to where his social skills are at - ie, how good he is at recognising that two people having a conversation usually try to make sure they're both getting something out of it (& so adapt accordingly).

But 5 is quite young to be able to do that, I think. In the meantime, if you have concerns about him picking up on what other people want to hear/talk about, I think it wouldn't hurt to help him with that rather directly - "you've told me lots about Legoland - if we went there, what do you think I might like about it?" I have taken that sort of line with ds, who doesn't have anything definitely diagnosable, but does have a bit of social difficulty that used to look like Aspergers (before he discovered his sense of humour, which was at about 5).

chhers Bink, im going to try that. He is not good at 2 way conversation and I really want to help him develop some skills.

he is very articulate and well-spoken so I have always assumed his talking skills were ok but he def needs help developing conversation.

Our area likes to diagnose at 7 because of the complex Speech and language assessment that forms part of the diagnosis. Different areas have different policies and I'm pretty sure if DS had more serious problems then we could push for an earlier dx but like your ds sometimes he seems completely NT. We didn't have a clue anything was wrong until he started school in sept 04 and then everything kicked off. Since then I have been reading everything I can get my hands on that might explain why he had such difficulties and by summer of last year I had begun to consider that it mught be AS. Like you I wonder if I am reading too much into each behaviour sometimes - afterall plenty of NT children display the same behaviours - but when i put it all together it fits the pattern and I know that he must be on the spectrum.

It sounds as if your ds and mine are quite similar. If you'd like to chat then CAT me.

ANM, Id love to chat - I know previously your ds and mine have exhibited similarieites. I am scared to start reading because I know I will maybe read too much into everything ds does. Give me a medical dictionaly and I self-diagnose everything - dont wantto do that with ds so I am cautious with my reading but I def need some help with managing his behaviour. Can you email me bunny dot two at ntlworld dot com (two as word not number)

I'll email you now bunny and then I'm off to eat some lunch.

Did you get my email bunny?