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6 year old DD fighting sleep - at wits end!!!

4 replies

sweetandtenderhooligan · 30/12/2011 22:24

My DD has never been a great sleeper. My fault really because I always stay with her till she falls asleep (story in bed, then lights out and I lie next to her till she sleeps - usually takes 5 or 10 minutes).

My sister died recently and there has been some distruption over Christmas which meant DD had late nights/early starts and I've obviously been really upset about the death of my sister and I realise I haven't been my usual self.

Over the last few days DD has battled with me at bedtime. When she finally gets into bed she is so exhausted and I'm sure if she just closed her eyes she would absolutely zonk out. But she fights and fights it. She wriggles, she complains, she says she's too hot, too cold, starts spitting, laughing, gets out of bed, jumps on the bed etc, but it's clear she is totally and utterly knackered.

I've got a very short fuse at the moment. I've been yelling at her which makes matters worse. Last night she went to bed at 8.30 and would just not cooperate at all. It resulted in her screaming crying (and waking DS, 19 months)and when she finally slept (at 12.30am) she got a night terror an hour later which was hideous.

We had a chat this morning about it and she said she understood etc but she is up there now with DH and has been since 8pm and it's all kicked off again. I'm at the end of my tether. The grief I'm suffering for my sister is hard enough without this. I can't cope.

Any advice?

I worry that she'll wake DS who is 19 months

OP posts:
Jenni1010 · 31/12/2011 22:20

all i can say is try the supernanny approach, once tucked up leave her, if she gets out of bed then tell her its night time and put her back, when u put her back a second time then in a very low tone say its bedtime. and anytime after that you keep putting her back into bed without talking. hope this works =)

cornflowers · 01/01/2012 00:30

So sorry about your sister, I'm not surprised that you don't have the energy to deal with this now. No real advice to offer, but if it's any consolation I've had the same problem with my older two dc (4 &7), who have also been procrastinating, messing about, asking for drinks, getting out of bed etc etc and frequently waking dc3 (23 months) up. I put it all down to the excitement surrounding Christmas, disrupted schedule etc. I had similar problems during the last half term when we had relatives visiting. They both settled back into a normal sleep pattern once they were back at school & their normal routines were reestablished. I expect the same will happen again next week. From chatting to friends about this, it seems to be a pretty common problem. Try not to worry about it too much, get dh to help as much as possible and take care of yourself at this difficult time.

diddygirl · 01/01/2012 01:10

Aw you poor thing. Can your DH take over with the bedtime routine to give you a bit of space? Could you try a sticker chart with your DD? Make sure you have time for yourself to come to terms with your grief x

parentinprogress · 01/01/2012 17:03

We had all this with DD when she was about 5yrs old. I made the decision not to force her to go to sleep but take her to bed at a reasonable time. do the routine (story/ cuddle/ quiet chat) then kiss goodnight. The rule is not getting out of bed. She can read, quiet play (she has several figures on a shelf next to bed) or draw in her notebook with side light on. We explained that after 8pm its calmdown time and its her decision when to go to sleep. I pop up every 20mins or so but just put my head in the door and say "just checking" then run off!

somedays its 830 and she is asleep , some days its closer to 930. Some days she is downstairs several times but thats unusual.

We tried this "its your decision" approach after years of lying with her to keep her from getting up and general battling. Bedtime was a warzone.

No Tv after bathtime or straight up stairs after teeth cleaning helps. She doesn't have "noisy" toys or DS/ DVD player etc and she is not allowed to get out of bed to get toys etc. (we hear her creeping sometimes!)

On the otherhand- you are grieving- she will sense this and its Christmas/new year- routine goes out of the window.

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