What is your response when your child tells you another child hit them?

[headfairy]

if you're at a park or soft play place for example? I usually say something like "oh just find somewhere else to play" to ds when he tells me another child has hit him - I don't feel I can confront the other child unless I actually see the incident - but I'm never quite sure if that's right. It just seems a bit weedy. I don't want to tell ds to hit the other child back of course, but I'm sure I'm missing valuable opportunity to teach ds that hitting is wrong.

I say 'well that's not very nice is it. Are you okay? Come and have a hug. All better now? Good, off you go then'. And then I behave like a hovering hawk around said little git child.

I agree that you shouldn't ever confront the child unless you've seen it. I go roughly for what wmmc says, plus I'd usually suggest they keep away other child after that. I might keep an extra eye out on my child too depending on situation.

If you confront you could find the situation was your child hit first, other child hit back, or the "hit" was the other child tripping and putting a hand out to stop themselves falling and catching your child etc. I know from watching that one child saying "he hit me... on purpose" may well mean the other child vaguely touched as he walked past.

What they said

Oh I definitely never confront the child if I haven't seen the incident.... Dd is currently going though a phase of telling me every has hit her, including her dolls, so I know all too well how much they can exaggerate things!

I'll ask what my child did BEFORE they were hit. Strangely it seems they are more likely to get hit after they have hit, tripped, pushed or been rude to another child. IF none of the above has happened, I'll be sympathetic but expect them to get on with life. My DC IS a drama queen and blows the slightest touch out of proportion sometimes, so I take them with a pinch of salt now.

My response is always - what did you do? LOL! Cue guilty expression from DS and mumbling. I do hover though - before he gets hit usually and watch what is happening. If he is in the right I offer a hug and comfort. And....hangs head in shame I have told other child off if it is a repeated targetted thing as I have witnessed it - makes me really cross when I know that the other childs (who is bigger) parents have witnessed event and not told their child that hitting is unacceptable!

For me it depends on knowing my own children well, I've one who can really irritate others verbally but wouldn't hit out at all, one who would slap at the slightest frustration and one who would never say boo to a goose.

Unlike others I always talk to every child involved, even if I have to track down ones that have run off, I also always approach their parents too - why not, parents need to work together to socialise children - huffing and puffing and wooly statements just confuse children in my view.