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Food issues with DM

17 replies

Janoschi · 30/12/2011 19:20

My DD is nearly 8 months old. She was ebf until 6 months and then started on solids. She kickstarted the process by stealing a tortellini from my OH's fork one dinner time and scoffing the whole thing. We do a combination of mushy stuff and finger foods and so far it's going well.

She loves: steak, pesto pasta, avocado, sprouts, broccoli, green beans, cauliflower, baby corn, chicken, beetroot, fennel, roast potatoes, apples, naan bread, courgette, shrimp, apricot, prunes, sweet potato, squash, garlic bread, cheese, asparagus, carrot and fish.

She tolerates: banana and yoghurt.

She hates: apple puree and pear puree.

At Christmas last week she ate a bit of roast pork and some potato and the reaction from my mother was extreme. She basically told me she was horrified and that I was abusing my daughter. She also hated that my DD was drinking from a cup instead of a bottle (she doesn't like bottles).

I've always been proud that my daughter enjoys different food and this reaction upset me a lot. My mother told me I should be following the lead of my sister and her 12 month old son, who only eats fruit yoghurt and formula (from a bottle) and refuses everything else. I was told I should get her to take a bottle, not a cup, and to put her on fruit purees. DD doesn't rate fruit puree and anyway I feel as though bottles and purees are a step backwards for a kid who's chomping through steak and broccoli.

I was so upset by the accusations of abuse and bad mothering over something that actually I'm really happy with. Not saying my DD is amazing in every area (8 months old and still won't roll, for example) but I love that I can take her to a cafe and she's happy sitting at the table with us sharing our food and joining in.

Now my mother isn't talking to me and my sisters are angry with my parenting style too. Any advice here on how to handle this? Just feel really hurt.

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Tee2072 · 30/12/2011 19:22

Yes. Tell them they are loons and keep doing what you are doing.

mrspepperpotty · 30/12/2011 19:38

Play the long game. Keep quiet now, and wait for a year when your sister is begging for tips on how to deal with her fussy eater and wean him off bottles. Two of mine went straight from breast to cup - saves a lot of hassle imo. Your DD's diet is great - you should feel proud of yourself!

Janoschi · 30/12/2011 20:37

I think missing out the bottle stage can only be a good thing, surely? It's only a happy accident that she doesn't like bottles but surely we should encourage her here... same with the food...

Yeah I know I should ignore. Just got upset over the accusations of abuse and shit mothering. I'll get over it, I know. As you say, play the long game!

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Noopypappy · 30/12/2011 20:39

Sounds just like my MIL and SIL. Watery purees, no lumps bigger than a pea, now he is two he is allowed mouth sized pieces of sandwiches but can't be allowed anything bigger as he might choke (but somehow whole grapes are fine????)

Just ignore and carry on as you have been. Point out that times have changed since your Mum had you. Tell them you have done the research and are confident in your choices.

Babies have to learn to control their mouths to chew and eat. This helps with speech development. Bet your LO learns to speak earlier than your sister's.

Janoschi · 30/12/2011 20:49

I pointed out that in her day, my DM was advised to down a pint of Guinness a day by the doctor to counter her anaemia. And in her mother's day, I'm sure smoking was fine too. A few generations back again and they strapped babies to boards. Basically don't act the ruddy baby guru. Research goes on and ideas change accordingly.

Didn't change the cats-bum face though.

I agree that babies have to learn not to choke at some point so why not do it when their gag reflex is high in the mouth and not wait til it's halfway down the throat? And frankly you can choke on liquid just as easily as food.

Well at least I'm not upset now, just bloody livid. :)

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smearedinfood · 30/12/2011 21:05

Difficult. MIL was a bit horrified at first with BLW but then I heard her talk it up to her friends a couple of months later.
It's just different from what she's been told.

Janoschi · 30/12/2011 21:08

I wouldn't mind questions though, smearedinfood. It's the 'straight into a abusive tirade' thing I find hard.

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RandomMess · 30/12/2011 21:09

I think you should be livid!!!

2ddornot2dd · 30/12/2011 21:16

I don't think your parenting techniques need any work. Perhaps your mother's do though. Just ignore her and enjoy your child - She will come round later when your children are the only grandchildren who eat her cooking.

smearedinfood · 30/12/2011 21:46

I think as soon as you give birth you get judged. In a months time mush feeders are supposed to give finger food. The 'advice' will die down then. It is hard though because you've made well researched choices about what you want for your child. I did BLW in front of my mother and she was quite passive about it. I'm also a co sleeper and my childless aunt went nuts at me and told I was going to kill my child by smothering him.Angry

holyShmoley · 31/12/2011 11:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PoultryInMotion · 31/12/2011 20:47

You are joking? A 12 month old surviving on formula and yoghurt alone? I know who the bad parent is in that story and it certainly ain't you!

Janoschi · 02/01/2012 12:40

No, the 12 month old really does only eat Petit Filou and drink formula. My sister is a bit stressed about it but my DM thinks it's fine and that my DD is the one with the issues. I have a feeling that DM wants babies to stay babies forever.

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QED · 02/01/2012 12:46

I think your DM is being a bit weird tbh.

You are doing everything right :)

SoFreshNSoClean · 02/01/2012 12:48

Your DM is completely overreacting!

I have two children. One only really liked milk, banana and weetabix until he was about 18 months old, the other was eating curry, roast dinners and any green veg she could get her hands on at 8 months Grin

noblegiraffe · 02/01/2012 13:43

Just warning you now, though, your blw eat-anything pride and joy could yet turn into a petit-filous demanding monster.

My DS also liked lots of foods at 8 months that he has since refused to have anything to do with.

I'm not saying what you're doing now is wrong, I think blw and having nothing to do with bottles saves a lot of hassle if nothing else, but it isn't necessarily going to save you from food issues later so be careful not to big up your approach over your sister's too much. DM would probably become unbearable if your DD's eating tails off after making a big deal about how good it is.

Janoschi · 02/01/2012 14:42

Yes I know I'm very lucky at the moment to have a kid who loves food and I do often say I'm sure it won't last! I'm not criticising how DN only eats Petit Filou and formula at all because I know you can't force-feed a kid and at the end of the day you're stuck with their whims, but I'm annoyed that my DM cites this as the preferred diet and that I'm abusing my baby by not following it.

Still, I'm now hundreds of miles away and can ignore them. Grin

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