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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Dealing with toddler taking car seat straps off

32 replies

missduff · 29/12/2011 22:35

My DS is 2.5 yo and is a pain in the bum when we're in the car and insists on taking his straps off!

I'm never sure of how best to deal with it, I try asking him to put them back on, explain its dangerous etc, try bribing him, sometimes I'll pull the car over and put them back on myself, but then I sometimes think he just it for the attention he gets, but then again I can't just ignore it when essentially we're talking a matter of potenial life or death.

I know there are some car seats you can get which don't have the straps and just the bumper thing across but to my knowledge they cost best part of £200 and I just can't afford that at the moment, especially not when we'd need 2.

I was wondering if anybody may have any tips on getting him to keep his straps on and how to deal with it (I'm at the end of my tether now!)
And also wondering if anybody knows of any special strap or device u can get which will make it impossible for him to do it?
I'm sure I can't be the only one with this problem?

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NeverKnowinglyUnderstood · 29/12/2011 22:38

so does he press the button to get it undone?

if it is that he is wiggling his arms out then do it up very very tight!!

fragglerocker · 29/12/2011 22:39

My ds can't get his straps off, not that he's tried but i think he would have great difficulty if he did. DS has got a britax seat. How does your ds get them off? What car seat have you got?

RandomMess · 29/12/2011 22:41

Yes you tighten them very very tight indeed and you can buy clip things to secure them.

I found after 6 months dd accepted that she had to keep them on.

Think it was called a hug-it or similar

rushofbloodtothefeet · 29/12/2011 22:42

Take a look at the Houdini Stop

RandomMess · 29/12/2011 22:43

Here is something that has actually been approved for use

5pointplus.com/looking-for-car-seat-strap-or-car-seat-harness/

thisisyesterday · 29/12/2011 22:43

you could try the 5 point plus, that's supposed to be v difficult for them to get out of

also, pull the straps as tight as you can,
my 2.5 yr old does the same thing and I just keep making the straps tighter and tighter. if he takes his arms out i pull over and put his arms back in and tell him off

HarrietSchulenberg · 29/12/2011 22:50

I too have a mini-escapologist. He's now 4.5 and has been wriggling out of or undoing straps since he was 2. Although he is as yet uncured I do find that giving him something to eat or play with diverts his attention, though this isn't so easy on longer journeys as I have to keep shoving stuff over to him in the back seat to keep his hands busy.

Half a baguette stuffed with chocolate buttons kept him busy for most of a 50 mile motorway journey when he was about 2.5/3. When he'd finished it he fell asleep in a heap of sticky crumbs - not ideal but at least mostly safe.

Original poster

missduff · 29/12/2011 23:07

Yes I've tried pulling his straps as tight as I can, but it seems to have the opposite effect, because they are too tight and not comfortable he just tries even harder to get them off. He's a skinny little thing and very determined I can think 'haha there's no way you'll get out of there' but he does!
The harness and the straps that have been suggested look great, I knew there must be something on the market like that but couldn't find anything when I google searched.

OP posts:

jubilee10 · 30/12/2011 08:37

My ds2 used to do this. We were heading out one day and before we had left the street he had his arms out. I turned the car round, drove home, left him with dh and went without him. He never did it again.

Harriet by 4.5 he should be well cured!

ArthurPewty · 30/12/2011 08:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ArthurPewty · 30/12/2011 08:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

thisisyesterday · 30/12/2011 11:25

yes car seats in the UK are only allowed to have one buckle so that it's easier to get them out in an accident

RandomMess · 30/12/2011 12:51

Actually it seems to be more to do with the internal injuries those extra clips can cause. In an accident rescue workers will just cut the straps off.

The problem with my dd was that she is incredibly slight built - very annoying. Those car seats with impact cushions are actually better/safer in an accident and of course rear facing is safest of all.

GwendolineMaryLacedwithBrandy · 30/12/2011 12:55

This was the bane of my life. I found that screaming at her getting very very angry worked for a bit but I did then go for the houdini stop. Illegal or not, I weighed up the chances of being in an accident and it causing a problem with the chances of turning round to find her not strapped in and me not being in a position to stop and sort her out. The latter won.

I had a Maxi Cosi Priori XP, well, three of them actually and not one of them had straps tight enough to keep her in, no matter what I or anyone else did.

RandomMess · 30/12/2011 12:58

Gwen that was what I did in the end. Dd has/had narrow shoulders so she could just shift to one side slightly and was free!

I also had to add extra straps to various pushchairs for the same reason.

Original poster

missduff · 30/12/2011 13:05

There's even been times when I have had to stop on the hard shoulder on a busy motorway as he took his straps off just as we began an hour long motorway journey and the next exit was miles away. I just can't chance us having an accident and him not having his straps on, like my DP pointed out, he might as well just not be in a car seat if he's not got the straps on.

Personally if i weigh up the risks of him not having straps on V possible injuries caused by one of these clips then I've got to say I think the clip would win.

I'll look in to this harness a little more, maybe that would be the best solution. He is getting slightly better but only slightly, as long as his straps aren't too tight and I distract him I think he often forgets about them.

OP posts:

Oblyx · 30/12/2011 13:06

I feel your pain but haven't got any helpful advice unfortunately.
My 2yo has been getting out of his straps for months. I did post on MN about it and someone recommended houdini stop - however he can get out of that as well. He's also quite skinny which seems to help. He has started leaning right forward and opening the window and sticking his hands / head out. I might try the 5 point plus one mentioned above. I'll let you know if I find anything that works!

flyingcloud · 30/12/2011 13:08

DD has been doing this since about 17 months (now 22 months). Even strong, manly DH can't tighten them any more than I can, and she leans ever so slightly forward when they are being done up to give herself wiggle room.

At 22 months she now knows that she is Not Allowed to do this, but the danger of hearing her giggle and reaching for the door handle is frightening. I have to avoid turning or reacting and trying to pull over as soon as possible (not always easy on a motorway).

RandomMess · 30/12/2011 13:12

If they are doing the lean forward trick you have to counter act it with hand pushing back on chest as you strap them up, also not to many layers of clothes as that gives extra wiggle room. That 5 point plus does look the safest and best option.

The seats with impact cushions tend to be at least stage 1 and 2 seats so they are worth a look at too tbh.

What made it worse was that dd had severe speech delay so we couldn't even have a 2 way conversation about it.

My only other thought is that you tell them that you are taking them to their favourite place and every time they take their arms out, you stop put them back in and drive home Fortunately we didn't have to use the car much!

EsmeWeatherwax · 30/12/2011 13:22

I ended up having to buy an imact cushion seat for dd2 because of this. I'm justifying the expense in that its a Kiddy Guardian Pro, which goes on to be a high backed booster, so she should be in it til she's finished with car seats. Just couldn't get her to stay in her seat any other way. The Guardian Pro is great though, she loves it!

RandomMess · 30/12/2011 13:23

I ended up with the bmw isofix one which I loved and wish I'd bought it much sooner

3cutedarlings · 30/12/2011 13:35

My DS is a bloody nightmare not only can he wiggle out of the straps! he can undo ANY car seat buckle in about 5 seconds !! he is 33 mths now but has been doing this since he was just 2!

Original poster

missduff · 30/12/2011 13:58

oblyx yes my ds does exactly the same, people at bus stops laugh at this dog like child sticking his head out of the window, if it wasn't so God damn dangerous I'd laugh myself!

He's also managed to undo the buckle a couple of times, he found it highly amusing when he was climbing in to the front of the car as I'm driving down a dual carriageway! I wasn't quite so amused, in fact he scared me half to death!

It seems funny how most of you who say your children do it, a majority seem to be boys

esme my friend has one of those car seats and loves it, her DD wasn't a wriggler but used to do a silent protest in the back of the car and got quite distressed having straps on. If I knew then what I know now I would have got one of those when I was buying the Britax seat but I just didn't like the idea of him not having straps on his shoulders, I know they're perfectly safe but I wanted to be able to see straps over his shoulders.

I think I'll try one of these harnesses and if that doesn't work I'll try and scrape together the money for one of the Kiddy car seats.

OP posts:

RandomMess · 30/12/2011 14:05

Ironically the impact cushions score better in crashes because of the disportionate weight of pre-school aged children. They are less likely to get fatal neck injuries with impact cushions rather than 5 point harness.

Also if you don't have airbags sometimes the secret is to letting them sit in the front. You know I'm so glad those days are behind me. My youngest once moaned/cried/complained for 4 hours solid in the car at about 18 months old

SkiBumMum · 30/12/2011 14:08

Kiddy pro seats are fab. I cannot recommend them highly enough.

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