What do your 4yo do themselves?

[SparkySparrow]

My ds has recently turned 4. There are some things that I think he shouls start doing himsefi.e brush teeth without me having to do it first,get compleatly dressed on his own, etc. Starting to wonder if we 'baby' him to much.

So, because Im nosy, what can your 4yo's do?

Apologies for spelling, on a phone. :)

DC 4.2 can

• Get dressed by himself
• Put shoes and coat on (needs help starting the zip)
• Set the table
• Brushes teeth - but I go over them
• Tidy up own toys/belongings

and has been able to do the top 3 from 3.5years

Dd is 4 and 2 months. She will brush her teeth in a fashion, wash her own hair, get a drink, go to toilet. However she does still sometimes need help with zips and buttons on clothes and will not wipe her bottom( although I know she can).

my 3.8yr old can dress himself.

i'd rather do his teeth myself for as long as possible to be sure they're done properly.
he's a big brother so has had to do a lot himself but still likes/wants to be fed at mealtimes, go in the buggy, be carried. i don't see anything wrong with some sort of babying, so long as he can look after himself enough to start school next september. we're working on bottom wiping at the moment!

Oh and insists on picking her own clothes which can lead to some interesting outfits but I let her get on with it.

oh they vary so much!

we had to force ds1 to dress himself so he could do it when he started school, and he has only recently begun to do it willingly (at almost 7)

his 4 and 2.5 year old brothers both will dress themselves already

they shouldn't be brushing their own teeth until around 7 or 8.. it's fine to still do that for him

DD is 5.5 but since she was 4 she has been doing the following:

Brush own teeth and wash face/hands
Get dressed/put school uniform on/get ready for bed
Make her own bed (haphazardly!)
Put her rubbish in the bin and plates/bowls/cutlery in the sink after use
Helps put the food shopping away
Helps tidy up after herself ie put pencils and colouring books away, put dvds back in their cases and back on the shelf
Puts her dirty washing in the wash basket
Tries to help with the housework - waving a duster around, wiping windowsills etc
Gets school things ready for the next morning

That seems like a lot, but I'm really big on getting her to take responsibility for her own stuff and helping me around the house as I'm a single parent and fuck being her slave for the next however many years!

The official word is that you should brush until they're 8 , I have the opposite problem in that we have struggled to persuade DS to let us brush his teeth at all. He will be 4yo in 6 weeks time.

He can wipe own bottom but still prefers me to.
Can put own socks on, and can do his coat Montesorri style, but struggles to do up buttons/zips/any other clothing.
He can wash own hands quite well.
Can tidy up but needs nagging/coaxing.
Is pretty pants at cutting up food (but will gamely try).
I personally feel that as long as they're willing to try, it's okay if they haven't mastered most personal skills completely until 5ish.

I also haven't fed her since she was 7 months old as she refused to let anyone do it but I don't think she uses a knife particularly well.
My nannies son is same age and he is still fed, as are others I know.
I meant to say earlier I am sure you are not babying, and who cares if you are? I know I do with my little boy.

Oh and tries to cut food
Go to the toilet, wipe (most of the time) flush and wash hands with minimal help

My DS is 4.5 and can:

wash own hands
get dressed but needs a bit of help with zips
brush his own teeth - but I always prefer to do it first to make sure they are properly clean
open the curtains in a very haphazard way
make his own sandwiches (with a blunt knife)
set the table
can wipe his own bottom at school but always shouts for me at home

The things you are thinking about are just fine. Plenty of children under 8 can do their teeth perfectly well, buy some disclosing tablets so you can check from time to time.

A few other things

• Putting dirty clothes in the dirty washing 'linen basket'
• Hanging up his own coat/putting shoes away
• Taking his plate from the table to the kitchen
• Tidying up after himself
• Doing up his own shoes/coat etc
• Doing up his own seat belt
• Blowing their own nose properly and putting the tissue in the toilet/bin

I'm sure that's enough to be going on with, but I'm all for independant kids so I'm sure I could think of a few other things if you need them

My 4yo refuses to wipe his own bum but my 2yo prefers to do it himself.
4yo can get dressed but sometimes needs help getting a t-shirt over his head.
He can't do buttons yet but can do zips depending on his mood.
He can get his shoes and coat on and off.
My 2yo can do everything himself and was able to before my 4yo.
4yo hasn't figured out socks yet, but younger one can.
They all progress so differently.
I wouldn't worry, we won't be wiping their bums when they're 15 or anything

My twins are v nearly 4. Ds2 can dress himself, zip up coat, feed himself without using hands etc, just started wiping own bottom, cleans own teeth. Dd, his twin, prefers help getting dressed and is v annoying if left to do it, but CAN do it, likes to eat with hands, gets brother to clean her teeth for her, does not feel confident to wipe bottom, struggles a bit with zip on coat. I try to let them do as much on their own as possible as I am lazy, but do still choose to clean their teeth (as well as nearly 6 year old ds1) as do not think they do it v efficiently.

thinkofthemonkey Its not so much that I mind babying him to much, but I don't want to stop him from doing things that he is more than capable of doing himself because its easier for me to do it. Iyswim.
Example:He doesnt wipe after a poo, he calls me to do it. Which is fine I dont mind (At least I know its done properly) but if he's not going to learn that way is he.
Most things like tiding and putting things places (i.e washing/rubbish etc) he does but only after a nag.
I think hes capable of a lot more independance but is lazy.
At nursery he always puts his coat and shoes on but never does at home.

SparkySparrow, they're only little once and there'll soon be a time when he won't want your help or want you anywhere near him when he's naked. Enjoy helping him while it lasts.

Don't worry, your son sounds fine.

I brush both 5 and 3 year old's teeth and have told them we will until they are 7- they get to brush them themselves after we have brushed. 3 year old dresses herself as does 5 year old, but 5 year old only really started to do it properly about 6 months to a year ago whereas little one was doing it before she could . A lot of kids age 4/5 don't dress themselves but think it's better if they can- not worth stressing about though.

Re the bottom wiping- funny one- we have had to encourage older one to do it himself and he still prefers us to check, whereas little one has been caught wiping herself (or not) and has to be reminded to ask us to do it- think I should just teach her actually- cut out the middle man!!

Both mine are pretty rubbish at tidying up, but I am soft on this. I have noticed a real change in DS starting reception this year- they are encouraged to be a lot more independent and as they are there every day it catches on more than when they are just at nursery so maybe your DS will be like this. Also, I agree in not pushing when they come to it in their own time.