Dd not walking is really getting me down

[SpottyTeacakes]

In an 'I'm worried' way. I just can't see her ever walking!

Background:

Born 4 weeks early, sat at 7.5 months, crawled at 11.5 months. She has been pulling herself up and crawling since about 13/14 months.

She is now 18 months. We have been seen a physio twice and she says dd has low muscle tone and stretchy ligaments. When she stands her been roll inwards. She can stand but only does it for a few seconds because getting back down (quite nicely, not plonking!) so not sure how long she can stand. She was always on her toes but has improved recently and will walk with her push along walker flat footed and sometimes (maybe once a day) holding our hands.

Physio suggested getting her some shoes now as it might help steady her. she hates them and will not stand/walk in them at all. I think I was hoping they would be the magic answer. I know lots of babies walk late but the fact that she really isn't showing any interest at all means I can't see it happening ever!

We try gentle encouragement but even that annoys her.

Sorry it's long, don't know what I expect anyone to say, suppose I just wanted a rant!

Oh also there is a hereditary motor neuropathy in my family, probably what's worrying me the most

When my dd was that age I too was sure she would never walk. But in her case she couldn't even sit unaided. She now likes to run everywhere! I have no doubt whatsoever that your dd will indeed walk. It sounds to me like she is doing just fine.

Sorry if it sounds patronising but in 2-6 months I think you will wonder why you posted . It starts to feel a bit weird when they walk late (my DD started at 18 months 10 days but not confidently really until 20 months), but it's still pretty normal. I got as far as giving the HV one phone call. By the way, if she can stand that's a pretty good sign. I remember my Dad looking at my son standing and saying "if you can stand, you can walk!", and sure enough it was about 2 days after she was standing for a few seconds that DD took her first step. Try to chill out.

I'm quite chilled out about everything else! I think it's because she doesn't seem interested in walking at all. Also she is very heavy

The physio did say that up to two years is now considered within normal range so I will try to calm down. I suppose once she is walking there will be something else to worry about though......

My DD wasn't interested at all until very shortly before she did it- she didn't pull up until 17 months, cruised between 17 and 18 months then did it. I didn't even try to encourage her as she was so disinterested . I often see young babies walking now and find it funny as both mine were late and much bigger and older when they got round to it!

My dd also didn't seem interested until very shortly before she did it. She sat up at 4.5 months and said first words at 8 months. But then she just sat there, chatting away, crawled late and didn't walk until 19/20 months.

It's natural to worry, though. I was posting on here and took dd to gp. She was born with talipes and had been referred to the physio when young so I was convinced it was something to do with that.

Your dd will be fine and no doubt running around very quickly once she starts.

Just another reassuring tale. DD didn't crawl until 13m, and then walked on her knees until she got up and ran across the room at 21m. She was also seen by a physio, also had an odd stance (stood on inside of one foot). I was extremely frustrated.
She's nearly six now. Still not in line with her peers in any gross motor skills (can't even begin to ride a bike, for example), but otherwise runs and dances and skips about in her own particular lovely way.

hairtwiddler that's what dd does - stands on the inside of her foot. thanks for the reassuring stories :)

Ds1 at 15 months couldn't roll over, get from lying to sitting, pull to stand, crawl, bottom shuffle, cruise or walk. He could sit for up to 5 minutes if put in a sitting position and that was it for gross motor skills. He started physio at that age and was walking by 23 months. Fast forward to nearly age 8 and he is full of energy, can run, hop, skip, swim and ride a bike. He has hypermobility and slightly low muscle tone, but keeping him very active once he started walking seems to have done the trick. Playing the piano has helped hugely at strengthening up his hypermobile hands, too.

What form of neuropathy runs in the family and is it even a type that can present at such a young age? If not, then really try not to worry too much at this stage - none of your dd's other milestones sound late (as opposed to later than average, which is entirely different - who wants to be average, anyway?) and having the strength, co-ordination and stability to be able to pull to stand is a very good sign, even if she doesn't like staying in a standing position for long.

It's Hereditary Sensory Motor Neuropathy, they can test for it but they don't like to do it this early and symptoms often don't arise until teenage years, although I had them a lot earlier.

Will definitely keep her as active as possible once she is on the move, well as much as I can, I struggle to keep up with her as it is!

Ds was very similar...he didn't walk till a couple of weeks before his 2nd birthday and was later on all his other milestones than your dd. He also showed no interest...too damn chilled out.

He's nearly 4 now and is still behind his peers and struggles with co-ordination and physical confidence. But he does get there eventually, just later than the other children. His nursery have idendified this and we're all working on ensuring he has strength and fine motor skills needed for writing when he starts school. Other than that I'm not too concerned.

I am with the others, it will happen eventually. DS2 has low muscle tone, having shown little or no interest in walking he got out of the push chair in the playground at 21 months, walked to the slide and climbed to the top. Although I worried about him at the time in hindsight it was great, by the time he walked he was pretty good at it and had some sense, i missed out the chasing a toddler around stage!

You must feel desperately worried about your little girl. Prehaps the worst thing is not knowing what is causing the delay or what future your little girl is facing. Well meaning people saying that they all get there in the end can make things feel worse.

My son took his first steps at 20 months and was two years and four months when he could walk confidently. My son also had next to no speech because of glue ear, although at that time we did not know the cause. It was an utterly grim time and I was desperately worried. I remember feeling really isolated when my child was crawling at two years old and other kids were walking at nine months.

My son was discharged from physio at three and half years and at the age of nine you would never know he ever had a problem. My son is never going to be an athelete, but he does enjoy life to the full.

Do you have communty paediatrian? Our community paediatrian was wonderful. I miss her dreadfully. She really helped my son in more ways than I can list.

my ds2 was like this too, he was not walking at 18 months but by 19 months he had started to walk some steps although could not pick himself back up to standing if he fell over then by 20 months walking fine, he also used to walk on tiptoes and i honestly thought he would not walk by himself without some kind of physio but he did. i think the shoes helped, he did hate them at first but once he accepted wearing them he seemed to walk better in them and he was really pleased with himself. your dd might get to like her shoes eventually so i would keep trying with them.
hopefully in a few more months she will be running round, im sure you cant help worrying though, i used to feel really sad for my ds as all the much younger children were running around everywhere and he could only crawl so he seemed to be missing out but now he is 2 yrs he is fine

Thank you you have all calmed me down again! She's the only baby I know over ten months that isn't walking so it is hard

My DD didn't crawl til about 12/13 months, and wasn't walking by 18 months (very, very wobbly stood up) so I took her to the GP. He told me all fine and to wait a bit, but I knew there was something wrong (posted on here too!) as she just didn't look like other babies do when standing, so we saw a peadiatric physio.

She was excellent, sorry yours doesn't seem to have helped as much! She said DD needs to strengthen her core muscles and has hyper flexible ankle joints, so also recommended stout walking shoes. To strengthen her core muscles she recommended lots of reaching for toys out of reach, on the sofa, high up etc etc. Also suggested walking with hands on shoulders (as this encourages her to take her weight more), holding on to a toy (DD won't do this), more gaps between the furniture and basically anything that has her stretching.

The shoes have helped a lot, sorry yours doesn't like them! We did lots of stamping with them ("if you're happy and you know it stamp your feet" etc) and loads of "look daddy, DD has new shoes!!" etc (sure you've tried) and that seemed to make her like them, esp the stamping.

The change in DD has been amazing in the last three weeks, whilst still not walking on her own, she can walk a long way holding DH's hand (I'm currently suffering from long term illness so can't walk far myself). She is also a great deal steadier on her feet, which is what I was worried about. Most importantly, she clearly now sees a point to walking, which she definitely didn't before.

Oh and finally we made a rule - as soon as she could walk a bit assisted, we made sure she did so constantly. E.g. going out in the car - walk to the car, get up in the morning, walk to the stairs etc. We'd got in the habit of carrying her too much, so now we try and make her walk as much as possible, not to the point of crying if she wants to crawl, but really, really encouraging it.

I should say we paid to see the physio too - not cheap but well worth it. She works in the NHS and told me in a different area they see children from 18 months, but not here. She also said now is a good time to really get them trying to walk, as by the time they get nearer 2 crawling/bum shuffling/whatever method of getting around they use is so ingrained, they can get very upset at being 'encouraged' to walk. She said that is a lot harder for parents to do, whereas at 18 months, you can simply do lots and lots of little things all day to encourage them, without them knowing it.

FWIW I was sitting on the floor playing with DD a lot, when actually it works better if I sit on the sofa and she has to come and reach to pass things to me. Just little things like that have helped us loads, although that may not be what your DD needs of course.

I am a childminder and 1 of the little boys I look after has only just started walking-at 22 months!!!! We knew he would do it in the end.........!!!

My child didn't walk until 18 months - yet when he started, it was a very swift progression frorem standing to walking. Could swim a width at 4 and ride a bicycle (no stabilisers) at 5. Just because your daughter is a late starter doesn't mean she will never catch up - or even "overtake" the early starters.

Also meant to say, DD doesn't really respond too well to us clapping her walking etc, I think it makes her feel pressured. Things she does like - being taken for a walk round the supermarket, so she can grab stuff off the shelves (yes it's a slight nightmare!). She thinks that is brilliant and really got the idea of walking.

It took a lot of nudging/practice/strong encouragement, but when we got to a stage where we could walk outside for a small bit, albeit holding hands, things then improved dramatically. DD could point at dogs/people/birds/trees etc etc and loved it so much more than the pushchair, this has helped enormously, and she now seems to see the point of walking at least.

I was like you most worried by the fact she disliked it and didn't see the point of it, I think this is what you need to help her with if you can.

And for what it's worth, everyone knows a child who hasn't walked til their 2 etc, but when as a parent you know there is a reason for them not walking and there is a problem (however small), you should listen to your instincts. I knew DD was not learning to walk normally, but dismissed my concerns, telling myself (as everyone else did) that she was just a late walker. I should've listened to my instincts earlier as I was right, there was a reason for it.

Gosh my grammar is awful, sorry I'm really not feeling well! They were instead of their, good grief.

Apologies also for hijacking your thread!

DS hated shoes at first when he started walking - 13 months - but I found some half sock/half shoe things; like a fleece sock with a rubber sole stuck on the base. In Jones the bootmaker of all places. French I think. He was ok with those because he could wriggle his toes and scrunch them up as normal, after those for a few weeks he accepted shoes, but used to cry and scream with shoes on initially.

www.amazon.co.uk/Minene-Baby-Sock-Slippers-Stripes/dp/B004RBHR72/ref=sr_1_25?ie=UTF8&qid=1325268874&sr=8-25 bit like these.

Thanks for all the comments, it's really reassuring!

Thanks for the link Lovethesea

happygilmore you have been so helpful. Our physio did mention about all the stretching to reach toys etc, we are seeing her again in a couple of weeks (she seems to be trying to see us monthlyish). Dd wore her shoes for a couple of minutes today we didn't get her to do any walking but she stood playing with (and holding onto) one of her toys.

Great ideas about getting her to walk, I will try it although more often than not she will just fall to her knees so she can crawl. So you think I should allow her to have a walk outside? (once it dries up anyway, it's like a mud bath round here at the moment!) she can, when she wants to, walk holding only one of our hands....sort of, bit wobbly.....

I always let her crawl up the stairs too, she is ridiculously fast!

Glad my ramblings were helpful

My DD was the same, would just crawl at any opportunity, even outside in the mud etc. Obviously I don't know your DD, but we had to 'get tough' and just make her walk much, much more. She is the kind of child that needs a push to do things - she's naturally cautious and gets very frustrated by not being able to do something, and with crawling/standing and now walking, she has needed huge encouragement to start (it was the cat that got her crawling in the end!).

I know it is wet/dirty etc outside, but I would just put her shoes on, an all over waterproof if you have one, and go for it. For instance, from now on - always walk to the car and back (if you're not doing already). Never carry from now on. Same when you get her up in the morning - walk to the stairs. When it's lunch time, walk to her high chair etc.

I'm sure she'll try and crawl a lot (DD did) but her strength improved so dramatically within about 4 days (no joke) that she could walk much more, and she now really wants to walk.

And if at all possible, I'd put her shoes on for most of the day, if you can. The difference in DD was huge after a day in them. Obviously it might just be that they helped her, but it's worth a shot. Even if she moans, you could just try it for one day and see how it goes, perhaps look at it like teeth brushing? Not their favourite thing but necessary!

For us, it was like a viscious circle - DD couldn't walk, therefore wouldn't try to walk, therefore won't learn to walk - and we had to find a way to break it and help her a bit. Yes maybe she would have learnt herself, but she was/is missing out on some independence that toddlers have. The change in her since she is starting to walk a bit is amazing to see, she is gaining confidence and you can see all over her face the realisation that she has some independence to explore the world.

Good luck :)

Oh and when DD would fall to her knees and crawl (say going to the car and back) I'd lift her up and walk her myself..I know that sounds cruel, but it's only 10 metres and I would say "no we walk outside". I just wanted to make it a habit, and normalise walking, rather than crawling everywhere.

I think making her do it for a longer distance would have been cruel, but 10 metres, a few times a day, every day, soon becomes a habit - and now after 3 weeks, she wants to do it.