over-active 3 year old.

[mum2bean]

my DD who has just turned 3 is, to say the least, active.
She finds it almost impossible to sit still for more than a few minutes, even at dinner time.
She is constantly doing things she shouldn't be, and does not listen to a word i say, or any punishment she receives, like naughty step/corner, time out etc.
its becoming even too much to go out to the shops as she often creates such problems. does anyone have any tips or suggestions for calming her? Shes about to start nursery and i am worried she's going to be the naughty child of the classroom, and that my parenting will be to blame.

errrrrrrrrrrrrr, sounds normal (!). Make sure she gets outside and has a run around once or preferably twice a day. They need exercising at this age. Apart from that pick your battles and if she settles at one activity then do a lot of that (eg craft/reading/imaginary games) with her so that she can practise concentrating- if she can concentrate/settle at something she enjoys then she will be able to transfer this to other activities as she matures.

If it helps I have the same problem with my 3 year old and I have the same fears about him starting nursery! I am hoping that he will get better as he settles into nursery. He is my third child and they were never this much trouble and so active!!

Nursery may help as she sees other children doing things and will probably copy.

She sounds pretty normal though.

Have you tried rewarding lots, sticker for every time she sits nicely, does as she's asked etc (you may need a lot of stickers), instead of punishments?

Does she sleep ok?

Same here. Same age, and I'm also worried about him starting nursery/ pre-school next week.

I do : 1, 2, and if get to 3 then time out. But this is reserved for serious misdemeanours or if things are getting really out of hand;
Tickling as a way of diffusing a situation;
Picking him up and moving away from a situation then cuddling him while talking quietly and kindly (even if inside I'm tearing my hair out!);
Reflecting back how I think he might be feeling 'I know that you feel sad we've got to leave';
Trying to be calm(!);
Removing a specific toy for the rest of the day (for example if he throws, which he knows he mustn't);
Offering bribes (not proud of it, but very occasionally needs must);
I always follow through if I say I'm going to do something, but try to think before I say it. I Don't cut off my own nose by saying we'll go home from toddler group etc. Because I always do what I've said I will (but also applies to nice things and treats too - I don't promise things we then don't do)
Absolute zero tolerance on hitting/ pushing - remove immediately and time out and made to apologise (luckily this is rare)

I know this sounds like a rag bag of techniques, but overall it works and different things require different tactics I think.

Oh and lots of praise for good behaviour.

Actually it's the lack of concentration I most notice with ds, he can be good as gold when it's required of him, and he is quite good out in shops etc usually, but I really relate to the not sitting still for meals. Or much really.

He really needs a run every single day and kept well fed - no dips in blood sugar or you can really tell. If only he'd have a nap he'd be happier too!

The stickers worked really well for her potty training, so i will give that a go as she loves stickers.
most nights she sleeps fine, very rarely she will wake up at 3/4 am and not go back down easily, but that is once in a blue moon.
dd gets the 'count down' then naughty corner, but it seems to have no effect on her at all, and that is usually the last resort,for hitting, spitting (which i have no idea where she picked that up from) and throwing toys, food etc. she doesn't seem to acknowledge what she has done to get put in the naughty corner, even though it is explained to her, she just says sorry, and when asked why shes sorry, she says she doesn't know.

But thank you for all the tips and reassurance, i had been prepared for the 'terrible two's' but had no idea it would have been this bad!

once again, thanks :)

Have you tried being very strict on certain behaviours immediately? I find this really helps. Zero tolerance on hitting for example, or one warning and then naughty step straight away. Keep what you say to a minimum and really clear so she gets a clear message. Sorry if you do this already!

yes, that kind of behaviour does get her straight to the naughty corner (as i don't have steps) I explain why she has gone there but she has taken to asking why, and still doesn't seem to understand afterwards exactly what she has done wrong. despite the fact when she does something wrong, she usually runs!

Naughty step/corner/whatever never really bothered ds so we didn't do it much. Taking a toy away though was a better punishment for him. He was/is quite well behaved but I still threaten to take things away and he's five. Different things work with different dcs maybe the naughty corner just isn't the best thing for your dd