Back story:
DS born October. Complications at birth, meant time on neonatal, diagnosis of mild brain damage and we're waiting to see the consultant for review/diagnosis/prognosis next month.
In November my mum died and we spent several weeks bouncing between home and my dad's
In December my Dar had a fall and is in hospital, and will ne for some time due to a head injury. He's conscious and has regained most of his memory but is so tired after being mums fulltime carer for years. He's in hospital over an hour away from us, we can't take the kids on the ward so the kids are spending time in the car, sitting in a cafe while one of us goes to see dad and then driving home again.
Over that time dd's behaviour has deteriorated. She's 2.4
She whines rather than talks, ignores us when we speak to het, has stopped daytime naps (used to nap in her buggy; if we put her down in the day she screames and screams and we usually give up after half an hour), uses "i don't want" almost constantly. Meal times are a battle, because she doesn't want anything although will usually eat if we ignore her.
Bed times are a nightmare. She refuses to stay in bed. We return her to bed but she doesn't stay there. She might eventually settle if one of us stays with her. Christmas day we put her to bed for 2 hours before putting her in her buggy at 10pm so we could have our tea. Now she's waking at midnight and in the early hours,.running around, hysterical etc. It usually takes an hour or so to get her back to bed each time.
DS is waking every 2-3 hours for a feed so this week its generally been 4 or 5 am before I've got to sleep.
DH is fabulous and at around 5 or 6, after I've fed DS he takes.him away so I can get some sleep. I'm probably getting 4-5 hours a night in 2-3 blocks.
We've been using the naughty step to deal with general rudeness, particularly defiance and saying no when asked to do something. Good.behaviour is praised and very good behaviour gets rewarded with chocolate buttons. Toys have been removed for particularly destructive behaviour such as kicking her easel over when given pencils to draw with not felt tips...
The naughty step doesn't have a great deal of effect and is now generally covered with teddies who have been naughty and rude to mummy and daddy.
Dd is in nursery 3 days s week but is beginning to be a monster there as well.
We've all been through a hell of a lot in the last 3 months, are exhausted, ill and I've totally run out of patience which is only making things worse.
Can anyone offer any great solutions or comfort that this too will pass and we'll get our bubbly, funny charming toddler back. I miss her.
Apologies for typos or gibberish, typing in phone whilst feeding DS and can't actually read this post to correct anything.