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Original poster

6yr old dd with strange behaviour?

31 replies

miggy · 11/01/2006 21:33

Sorry about odd title but wasnt sure what to put on active convos
ok, this is embarrasing to ask but not changing name in case you think Im some pervy lorry driver. Really need to know this and cant ask in RL dont want to look up on google for fear of what will come up!
Is it normal for small girls to m%sturbate (edited to avoid searching!). DD (6) has started doing this when I take her to bed. She does it while Im sitting there with her and gets really annoyed when I pull her hand away and pretend I didnt know what she was doing-dont want to make a big thing about it. Not just fiddling, she gets all flushed and heavy breathing (god this is embarassing )
if its not normal-what do I do, if it is, what do you do? Help???

OP posts:
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pussycatmomma · 11/01/2006 21:43

right miggy, embarrassing yes, normal yes, real life , afraid so.
my niece 7yrs does this ALOT! she is a twin, her brother always tells on her, "muuuuuummy, chloes doing that thing again with her diddler!" bless!!
she has done it while we have been snuggled up watching a film together, she also gets v. flushed, breathless etc.
I think it is very very normal
Please dont worry.
Her teacher caught her doing it in the quiet room once, and then asked her to go and wash her hands.
You are doing all right things.
Dont fuss, dont make her feel bad.
Quite, quite normal i am sure.
hth x x

mckenzie · 11/01/2006 21:47

Miggy, just to put your mind at rest (and this is even more embarrasing than your original post)I used to do the same when I was younger. And I think I'm pretty normal and okay now so no harm done.

Original poster
miggy · 11/01/2006 22:08

thanks-feel better now!
dont remember doing this at that age-must have got it from her father

OP posts:
Art · 11/01/2006 22:19

I have had several little girls in class (yrR,1 )that do it so its not just your dd. Somehow it seems different when it is girls doesnt it (ds 4.5 fiddles a lot, quite openly!) but it is normal. I'm sure you're doing just the right thing keeping it low key.

trefusis · 11/01/2006 22:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Art · 12/01/2006 13:32

As a teacher its very difficult having to bring up the subject with a parent too so try not to feel too embarrassed. The teacher is probably feeling just the same!

Feistybird · 12/01/2006 13:36

DD1 goes all glassy eyed...one of the few times she shuts up, so I'm all for her continuing

dexter · 12/01/2006 13:36

yes I'm sure as others have said it's completely normal! I think I would just say that people do that when they are on their own, it's not for when you are with others - a private thing. Just absent yourself if she refuses to take her hand away perhaps!

waterfalls · 12/01/2006 13:42

My ds does this too (almost 5 yrs) he has been doing it for at least 2 years, but has only recently learned that he should do it in private, even though he still announces what he is going upstairs to do he likes to erm ........hump on the bean bag, so he picks up the beanbag and says' mum, i'm just going to my room with this for a while'

NotQuiteCockney · 12/01/2006 13:47

PMSL at your DS, waterfalls.

I do think this is normal behaviour. DS1 is 4, and not yet m%sturbating per se, but is certainly fiddling a lot. We just keep saying "Please don't play with that when other people are about."

frogs · 12/01/2006 13:58

Both my dd's have done this. Dd1 used to hump her teddy (sorry to be crude, but no other word for it!) while she was still in nappies. Once she was in pants she was a regular fiddler, but grew out of it around 4yo. Dd2 now does the soft toy thing in her cot, annoying ds (age 6) who has to fall asleep to the sound of dd1 grunting and the cot shaking. I think he knows what's going on, though, cos he'll say innocently, "Dd2 really annoys me when she rattles her cot, Mummy", but with a really knowing smirk on his face.

Having said that, dd1 (now aged 10) asked me recently what 'wanker' meant, having seen it in some graffiti. When I explained her face was a picture, and she said, "Eeergh, do people really do that?" I didn't have the heart to tell her how many times I'd caught her with her hands down her pants as a toddler...

sparklymieow · 12/01/2006 14:02

My dd2,4, does it while watching the telly, when we say to stop she just looks at us like she doesn't know what we are talking about...

JackieNo · 12/01/2006 14:03

Had some friends whose daughter (about 5.5) used to 'hump' the upright bit at the top of the bannisters (is there a proper name for that part of the staircase?). They were v embarrassed about it, but I think it's quite normal. DD (6) also fiddles, not too intently as yet, but hope I can be relaxed about it if/when it does happen.

mammamic · 12/01/2006 14:38

v normal and more common than most think - we just don't get the chance to discuss it! dd (20 months) has explored since she was able to even sitting in front of mirror having a really good look. Not at m&sturbating stage yet but sure she will be soon.

Easy · 12/01/2006 14:38

Blimey, I didn't know little girls did this. I certainly didn't when I was young.

Am I a frigid repressed woman then ??

mckenzie · 12/01/2006 21:56

Careful Easy, you're making me feel bad now.
Am I seriously the only one who will own up to it?

Elibean · 12/01/2006 22:26

Nope - I can remember doing that too, but not in front of my parents! All sounds very normal.

mckenzie · 13/01/2006 09:34

thanks Elibean, I was beginning to wonder if I was the only one. I think I only did it in private too, but it's a long way back to try and remember.

sibdoms · 13/01/2006 11:08

It is So normal.My dd1 is very cerebral and I don't think she even knows what she has down there but dd2 has been at it since 18 months and especially enjoys a good session at the supermarket - good bit of frottage with the seat - and similar glazed expression, heavy breathing etc. Also sticking plastic sharks up herself in bath etc. I have tried to explain that it's a private thing, but now she has started school I am waiting for the teacher to gently take me aside. Really don't worry.

sibdoms · 13/01/2006 11:09

It is So normal.My dd1 is very cerebral and I don't think she even knows what she has down there but dd2 has been at it since 18 months and especially enjoys a good session at the supermarket - good bit of frottage with the seat - and similar glazed expression, heavy breathing etc. Also sticking plastic sharks up herself in bath etc. I have tried to explain that it's a private thing, but now she has started school I am waiting for the teacher to gently take me aside. Really don't worry.

sibdoms · 13/01/2006 11:09

It is So normal.My dd1 is very cerebral and I don't think she even knows what she has down there but dd2 has been at it since 18 months and especially enjoys a good session at the supermarket - good bit of frottage with the seat - and similar glazed expression, heavy breathing etc. Also sticking plastic sharks up herself in bath etc. I have tried to explain that it's a private thing, but now she has started school I am waiting for the teacher to gently take me aside. Really don't worry.

sibdoms · 13/01/2006 11:09

It is So normal.My dd1 is very cerebral and I don't think she even knows what she has down there but dd2 has been at it since 18 months and especially enjoys a good session at the supermarket - good bit of frottage with the seat - and similar glazed expression, heavy breathing etc. Also sticking plastic sharks up herself in bath etc. I have tried to explain that it's a private thing, but now she has started school I am waiting for the teacher to gently take me aside. Really don't worry.

sibdoms · 13/01/2006 11:09

sorry. my zeal got the better of me.

jenkel · 13/01/2006 11:31

Ohhh, my dd does this, she is 20 months and likes pressing against anything hard, that shounds awful doesnt it, the bar that goes between her legs on the high chair was her favourite. She has been doing this for about a year now. I was a bit concerned but apparently her aunt used to do this a lot too. I'm hoping she will grow out of it.

Emz25 · 13/01/2006 12:12

hi my dd does it too! i was quite worried i thought she would grow out of it but she hasn't and shes 8 now! she started at around 9 mths.

i have never noticed my son have a fiddle and he is 6 in a couple of weeks but i've just had another little girl she is almost 1 now and i have begun to notice alittle wiggle occasionally on my hip!